before anyone had even said anything about saying grace<\/em>. We hadn\u2019t visited these particular relatives in a while, so she can\u2019t have remembered praying before meals from the last visit. I think she just realized that, well, that\u2019s what we do before we eat when we visit relatives.<\/p>\nWhat amazed me about this was how effortlessly Sally did it. She picked up on it and the message she got was simply \u201cthat\u2019s how X. Y, or Z people do things.\u201d And that was fine. And she was fine. I\u2019m beginning to think she\u2019s way more perceptive than I give her credit for.<\/p>\n
When we visit relatives, we generally go to church with them just out of politeness. We\u2019ve never discussed what it is or why we go with Sally, just \u201ccome on, it\u2019s time to go to church with grandma and grandpa,\u201d or whatnot. Since she hasn\u2019t been old enough for Sunday School, she just sits with us or plays with toys in the nursery. This particular time we had a conflict and couldn\u2019t, but when they came out Sunday morning dressed in nice clothes Sally simply asked matter-of-factly, \u201care you going to church?\u201d They said yes, and that was that. Again with the perceptiveness.<\/p>\n
After my latest post on atheist parenting, a reader reminded me that Sally doesn\u2019t have the baggage I have. I might have baggage surrounding the story of Noah and the Ark, but to Sally it\u2019s just a story. No baggage. Realizing this has actually been really helpful. I may have gone through pain at the hands of my parents\u2019 religious beliefs, but Sally hasn\u2019t. To her they\u2019re just things that grandma and grandpa believe, nothing more, nothing less. No baggage. And that\u2019s relieving, really.<\/p>\n
And so, I\u2019m working on letting go of my worry and fear. I\u2019m reminding myself that this isn\u2019t as complicated as I keep wanting to make it. I\u2019m remembering that what\u2019s most important is to lavish Sally with love and foster her sense of compassion, curiosity, independence, and critical thinking. And everything else? Well, it will work itself out.<\/p>\n
And after reading through the comments on my latest post, I have come up with some concrete steps I can take. First, I\u2019m going to get my hands on books of mythology for children, aiming to cover as many religions as I can. And then I\u2019m going to read those books to Sally. To her they\u2019ll just be stories, but they\u2019ll lay a framework for later discussion of religion and religions. And they\u2019ll set her up to be multiculturally literate as well.<\/p>\n
Second, I\u2019m going to give the local UU church another try. I\u2019ve heard good things about their religious education program, and I think Sally is old enough to start going through it. It would also be nice to have a greater sense of community in which to raise our young family. And don\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll definitely be blogging about my experiences!<\/p>\n
Mostly, though, I\u2019m glad for Sally\u2019s reminder to me that she\u2019s not clueless and she\u2019s not helpless. In fact, she\u2019s already curious and empathetic, independent (for her age, at least) and thoughtful. And with that knowledge, I need to relax and stop worrying.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As you may have noticed, I can sometimes be a bit angsty about raising my young daughter Sally without God. For one thing, God was just about the most important thing about my upbringing, and that makes raising children outside of religion seem completely foreign. For another thing, essentially all of our relatives on both […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,43],"tags":[44,187],"class_list":["post-4845","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-atheism","category-family","tag-fear","tag-parenting-without-god"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>You see, we recently visited some relatives for the weekend, and when everyone sat down for the first meal after we arrived, Sally reached out and grabbed the hands of those beside her before anyone had even said anything about saying grace<\/em>. We hadn\u2019t visited these particular relatives in a while, so she can\u2019t have remembered praying before meals from the last visit. I think she just realized that, well, that\u2019s what we do before we eat when we visit relatives.<\/p>\n