The Vision, pp. 151-159, 183-188<\/strong><\/p>\n Magdalene has has a personality transplant. It\u2019s been a week since the \u201cTrio\u201d forced her to tell the story of her childhood, her life as a runaway, and her violent kidnapping, and she\u2019s spent that week reading the Bible. Avidly. Excitedly. Because of course she has.<\/p>\n Workplace Dynamics<\/strong><\/p>\n By the way\u2014I\u2019m going to stop giving specifics on the weird, weird workplace dynamics Cheyenne has going on here, because it\u2019s just\u00a0weird.\u00a0<\/em>They\u2019re constantly mean to each other, and brush it off as joking. Cheyenne is rattling away about Asher getting back \u2026 so Bobbie Jo gets annoyed and tells her to \u201cshut your trap.\u201d Things like that. Constantly. And yet, I think Debi thinks it\u2019s a pleasant workplace because it\u2019s so freewheeling, light-hearted, filled with inside jokes and laughing at each other, telling stories and having \u201cdeep\u201d conversations.<\/p>\n For instance, Bobby says this to Cheyenne, referencing Asher:<\/p>\n \u201cI cannot think when you are gushing endlessly over Big Red.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And then this happens:<\/p>\n Julie, Magdalene, and Cheyenne stood frozen for about 10 seconds. Then they all exploded with screams of laughter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n But that\u2019s not the end of it, because they all turn it around on Bobbie Jo:<\/p>\n Their voices chimed in together as each shouted their opinion. \u201cShe\u2019s jealous. She wants a man! Did you hear her? She\u2019s a girl, after all.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u2026 yeah.<\/p>\n What\u2019s the Matter with Baptists<\/strong><\/p>\n Anyway! Let\u2019s return to Magdalene:<\/p>\n Magdalene\u2019s rediscovered childlike wonder was refreshing. She had spent the week studying Scripture in a great rush\u2014she was drinking in the information like a thirsty sponge. She just couldn\u2019t seem to get enough. In addition, it appeared she had chosen to set aside the past.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Like I said:\u00a0Magdalene has has a personality transplant.<\/p>\n Magdalene announces that she\u2019s going to explain why Jesus is called the Lamb of God. You know, totally ordinary workplace conversation. Bobbie Jo access her of being \u201ca discombobulated Baptist\u201d and then \u2026 then \u2026 then this happens \u2026 and I cannot:<\/p>\n Cheyenne pretended to take offense, \u201cAsher is a Baptist too, if you recall.\u201d Then she lightened the mood with her imitation of a southern belle, \u201cTheyafoah Ah simply will naht brook insults in that regahd.\u201d She fanned herself and fluttered her eyelashes for emphasis, \u201cI sincerely hope that someday in mah very near future, Ah too shall be a Baptist.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n What was that!?<\/p>\n Well okay then.<\/p>\n People like the Pearls tend to be fine with Baptists, though I\u2019m not sure whether they themselves identify as Baptists. Presbyterians are a bit more highbrow, and the Pearls aren\u2019t Amish or Mennonite (though they have a fetish). Lutherans are also too highbrow, although Methodists are maybe<\/em> acceptable. Certainly not Anglicans or Episcopalians! And Catholics aren\u2019t actually Christians.\u00a0But I digress!\u00a0Point is, these people are totally fine with Baptists, I\u2019m honestly confused as to why Bobbie Jo is making fun of Baptists.<\/p>\n Salvation Anxiety\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the thing though: this whole section is just one big interactive sermon. It\u2019s both boring and grippingly important. Basically: it\u2019s about how you can know whether you\u2019re saved, and what makes you saved.<\/p>\n Full disclosure: I suffered from salvation anxiety as a teen. I believed I was saved, but being saved was not determined by actions\u2014it was determined by beliefs and sincerity. I frequently questioned whether I was fully sincere, and I prayed the sinner\u2019s prayer repeatedly hoping desperately that I \u201cmeant\u201d it enough.<\/p>\n In part, I was terrified because I had never committed any big sin. I know that sounds backwards, but I had been taught that if I at all<\/em> believed that I was a good person, I was bound for hell. I had to believe that I was a filthy sinner. I kid you not, I envied<\/em> people who shared testimonies of drug-use and prostitution before eventual salvation. Those people\u00a0knew\u00a0<\/em>they were filthy dirty sinners. They would never accidentally think they were maybe a good person, and thus doom themselves to hell.<\/p>\n Looking back now, I think all of this is a product of the extent to which Protestants, and especially evangelicals, have made membership dependent not on shared action but on\u00a0shared beliefs.\u00a0<\/em>If membership (and thus salvation) came from church-attendance and from participating in rituals or doing good works, you can know whether you are saved\u2014you don\u2019t have to worry whether a fragment of doubt or a twinge of pride and self-worth is going to doom you. Within evangelicalism, you have to be extremely careful that you don\u2019t ever think that any of these things\u2014rituals, works\u2014will help you get to heaven, because that would send you to hell.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n This entire section of Debi\u2019s book is one big anxiety-inducing pile of circular soul searching, in this case carried out by four teenage and twenty-something women and an online concordance.<\/p>\n What a mess.<\/p>\n Magdalene Is Always Wrong<\/strong><\/p>\n Magdalene says Jesus is called the Lamb of God because he\u2019s \u201charmless and passive\u201d and humble, and Cheyenne instantly concludes that this means Magdalene isn\u2019t saved. Cheyenne asks her why God accepted Abel\u2019s sacrifice of a lamb, and not Cain\u2019s sacrifice of vegetables. \u201cWhy did it have to be blood?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n Magdalene is unsure. Finally, Cheyenne says:<\/p>\n \u201cCain and Able both sinned. Abel sensed in his spirit that his sin deserved death. We call that conscience. He knew there was nothing good he could do to make up for his sin.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This idea is so very central to evangelicalism, and it\u2019s also really\u00a0awful.\u00a0<\/em>When my child lies to me, I don\u2019t conclude that his transgression is so terrible it can only be paid for with\u00a0blood.\u00a0<\/em>WTF! No! Ironically, perhaps, my conscience actually cries out against the absolute injustice and horror of such an idea.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Horse thievery used to be punished with having a hand cut off\u2014or being hung.\u00a0I do not\u00a0believe\u00a0that was just.\u00a0<\/i>At all! In the same way, I don\u2019t believe that any little act of wrongdoing\u00a0is deserving of death.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Nope. No. Nada. Absolutely not.<\/p>\n Anyway, cue Julie:<\/p>\n \u201cThe Jews had it so easy. They didn\u2019t have to struggle with this thing of repenting and believing with all your heart; they just had to believe enough to offer the lamb.<\/p>\n \u201cI would have gladly done that if I could. Instead, I was never sure if I had repented correctly or if I had believed enough. Was I sincere? Had I surrendered to Jesus as my Lord? On and on such thoughts tormented me.<\/p>\n \u201cOh God, I hate being scared!\u201d Julie uttered with unguarded emotion. Gone were her careful words. The others were a little surprised by her uncharacteristic openness.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Turns out Julie\u2019s not actually saved either.<\/p>\n But seriously \u2026 I feel this so hard. Seeing it written out like this in a book by a fundamentalist would-be guru is somehow validating.\u00a0This is an actual problem.\u00a0<\/em>Of course, as we\u2019ll see, Debi is Quite Sure she has the solution (I\u2019m going to argue that it\u2019s not actually a good<\/em> solution, but we\u2019ll get there eventually).<\/p>\n Magdalene walked over to put her arm around Julie\u2019s shoulder. \u201cHush Jules, don\u2019t get so upset. You are one of the nicest people in the whole world. If anyone is gonna make it in, you will. The Bible says all you have to do is ask forgiveness for your sins every night.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Personality. Transplant.<\/p>\n \u201cNope,\u201d Bobbie Jo says, jumping in, but Magdalene isn\u2019t having it.<\/p>\n \u201cJeepers, Bobbie Jo! You are the one that\u2019s always telling Bible stories. Are you playing dumb or something? Everyone knows that\u2019s what it says. I heard it often enough from my mom. It says you must repent of all your sins and confess them to God daily.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This isn\u2019t\u00a0quite\u00a0<\/em>what I was taught\u2014I never got the idea we were sin-counting like this. Once you asked for forgiveness, you were forgiven, even if you went on to mess up. Except if you messed up\u00a0too\u00a0<\/em>badly and left the faith, or acted unrepentant, which was clearly a sign that you were\u00a0never saved in the first place.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n (You see the problem here?)<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t let her get to you, Jules. You know that God is merciful. If repentance is in your heart, God will see it. I know that\u2019s right!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Personality. Transplant.<\/p>\n \u201cWrong answer!\u201d Cheyenne booms.<\/p>\n Oh boy.<\/p>\n Julie wants to know what Cheyenne means.<\/p>\n \u201cSo do you stay saved if you don\u2019t confess and forsake every sin? Besides, there was a time when I was 17 years old that I had a secret boyfriend. I know there was a whole lot of really bad sins that were not accidental. If I really meant it when I asked Christ into my heart, why did I sin so much?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n She had a secret boyfriend.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n This is just\u00a0so sad.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Again, Magdalene put her thin arm across Julie\u2019s shoulder in a comforting gesture. \u201cGod would never lose one like you.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Personality. Transplant.<\/p>\n Of course, Bobbie Jo and Cheyenne are intent on putting Magdalene in her place by explaining in grownup voices that God is\u00a0exactly\u00a0<\/em>the kind of entity who would send Julie to hell,\u00a0and happily so.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHey BoJo, tell them about the day you got left behind.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Yes, Cheyenne calls Bobbie Jo \u201cBoJo.\u201d Maybe I just have a dirty mind, but I am not a fan of this nickname. Anyway, Bobbie Jo tells a story of coming upon some of Cheyenne\u2019s clothes\u2014they contrive a reason for her stripping at work\u2014and believing that the rapture has happened and that she\u2019s been left behind. That has happened to me before, because unlike most normal people at work, my younger siblings did\u00a0<\/em>sometimes strip and drop their clothes where they stood, instead of in the dirty clothes hamper.<\/p>\n Anyway, Bobbie Jo says she realized at that moment that she didn\u2019t understand \u201crepentance and faith\u201d properly and that she was \u201cthrough with all that hoping-I-was-saved\u201d stuff.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I had died two years ago, I would have split hell wide open. That\u2019s a fact.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n People should not live with this level of terror of being horrifically tortured for eternity. This is\u00a0itself\u00a0<\/em>horrific.<\/p>\n Interlude\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n At this point their conversation is completely derailed by \u2026 Muslim terror things. More on this next week. I\u2019m going t0 skip over all of this bad bad Muslims stuff and give you the rest of the conversation on salvation, which happens some time later. Next week is going to be really wild, by the way, and if you have any doubt, just ask Petticoat Philosopher in the comments, because she knows\u00a0exactly\u00a0<\/em>what\u2019s coming.<\/p>\n She has even chosen theme music for it.<\/p>\n Anyway! Let\u2019s go to part II of the salvation conversation!<\/p>\n Word Search<\/strong><\/p>\n Magdalene is using \u201cSword-searcher Bible software\u201d on \u201cthe old laptop\u201d to search for the term \u201crepent of.\u201d (Too bad she doesn\u2019t have a Smartphone like the poor benighted Muslim girl.) Bobbie Jo suggests she instead search for \u201crepent from.\u201d Julie is around, insisting it says \u201crepent of your sins somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n Magdalene does some more poking around, and then we get this:<\/p>\n \u201cThe word repent is in the Bible 112 times, and not one time does it say \u2018repent of sin.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2026<\/p>\n Magdalene typed\u00a0repentance\u00a0<\/em>in the search box and scrolled down the results. Suddenly she shouted, \u201cDead works! It says repent form dead works! I see it now!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And here Magdalene starts to freak out.<\/p>\n Magdalene was bouncing with excitement. \u201cJulie, I see it! I see it! We\u2019ve been trying to place God with our confessions. No wonder we\u2019ve both been scared out of our wits. Confession of sin is just dead works! Don\u2019t you see? We\u2019ve been trying to be good enough for God \u2026 and that\u2019s dead works which kept us lost! Just like Cain offered a bunch of squash and beans, we were offering our works!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I don\u2019t buy this\u00a0at all.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Someone confessing their sins in terror of hell is not\u00a0trying to do a good work.\u00a0<\/em>Sure, there are probably \u201cself-righteous\u201d people who make an act out of the confession of sins\u2014but that\u2019s not what Magdalene and Julie were doing. This just seems like\u00a0such\u00a0<\/em>an odd framing. It sounds like something Debi stumbled upon herself.<\/p>\n Frankly, this reads like it\u2019s Debi trying to push her own theology in a way that\u2019s acceptable within the gender roles she holds. She\u2019s not writing theology or preaching\u2014she\u2019s just writing a novel, that\u2019s all!<\/p>\n Sure, Debi. Sure.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the thing though\u2014she\u2019s also wrong! Sure, their search engine isn\u2019t finding \u201crepent of sin,\u201d but that may be due to the translation they\u2019re using, or the fact that they\u2019re only using the word sin.\u00a0<\/em>There are more than one ways to say \u201crepent of sin.\u201d For instance, Mark says<\/a> \u201crepentance for the forgiveness of sin.\u201d So does Luke<\/a>. Jeremiah says<\/a> \u201crepent of their ways.\u201d Acts says<\/a> \u201crepent of this wickedness.\u201d 2 Corinthians chides<\/a> those who have not \u201crepented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and indecent behavior which they have practiced.\u201d Revelation condemns<\/a> those who refused to \u201crepent of the works of their hands.\u201d<\/p>\n