The Vision, pp. 180-197<\/strong><\/p>\n So. Last week the local Walmart was bombed into a shell (ok, ok, technically it was a \u201cSuper Center,\u201d but basically it was a Walmart). The bombing was (apparently) a targeted attempt on Cheyenne\u2019s life, for no apparent specific reason. If this terror cell doesn\u2019t like Cheyenne\u2019s parents\u2019 graphic novel Bible business, they could actually bomb that<\/em>. For the thousandth time, this book makes no sense.<\/p>\n In the week following the bombing, the girls did what girls do when something happens more traumatic than their emotions can handle: they lived in denial. The only only thing Cheyenne would talk about what the babies. The other three girls stared at her off and on during the day with looks of horror.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The babies, remember, are Zulla Mae\u2019s twins, which Cheyenne delivered in the back of her panel truck en route to the hospital after the bombing.<\/p>\n This, by the way, is where the conversation about what it takes to be saved happens. And perhaps this goes to show how very into \u201cshow, don\u2019t tell\u201d this book is: while I knew I was skipping ahead to keep the salvation conversation together, I didn\u2019t realize I\u2019d skipped a bombing<\/em> that was supposed to have left these four young women completely traumatized. That whole scene where Magdalene concluded that the Bible calls Christians to repent not from their sins but\u00a0from good works\u00a0<\/em>feels completely detached from any<\/em> of this, despite the fact that Debi\u00a0just told us\u00a0<\/em>that the women at the Herb Den are horribly traumatized.<\/p>\n Remember, that conversation left Magdalene jumping for joy in her new spiritual discovery, but also left Cheyenne still worried about about Julie\u2019s faith. We\u2019ll get back to Julie (and the utter nonsense involved there) momentarily.<\/p>\n Technology Is Magic<\/strong><\/p>\n With that, let\u2019s turn to Asher:<\/p>\n The back room at The Last Publishers\u2019 warehouse was set up for a meeting. Tonight, in just a few minutes, Asher and Omar would be presenting a new concept in missions. It would take this visual presentation to convince the old veteran missionaries that this was truly a better way to reach the world with the gospel. Several of TLP\u2019s team had worked for weeks to make this possible.<\/p>\n Asher stared at, yet didn\u2019t see, the huge liquid crystal display screen mounted on the wall. It had been a gift to the ministry from a businessman. He\u2019d called it second rate, but it was first rate as far as Asher was concerned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This book is\u00a0so\u00a0<\/em>weird.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the deal: Malachi Freeman, who is for all practical purposes completely absent from this book, believes he has hit on a magic formula for evangelization. He believes that the solution is: graphic novel Bibles. He believes that publishing translations of the graphic novel Bible he wrote in every language will result in the conversion of the masses, while ordinary missionary work is ineffective.<\/p>\n This ridiculous magical wishful thinking is perhaps illustrated in the scene we are treated to in this section: Malachi invites hundreds of \u201cveteran\u201d missionaries to leave their posts around the world and come\u00a0to his compound in Tennessee\u00a0<\/em>where his a multimedia presentation on a fancy liquid crystal display screen will make all of them throw up their hands and admit that he is right. Then, they will .. what, exactly? Switch from being shoe leather missionaries to running printing presses?<\/p>\n Shook Asher Is Dark Asher<\/strong><\/p>\n Anyway, Asher may be standing there stroking an LCD screen with a powerpoint ready to go, but he\u2019s also\u00a0still shook by the bombing.<\/p>\n He reached out, running his finger down the coast of East Asia. His hands still trembled.<\/p>\n The young man shook his head as if to clear the nervousness that had settled over him since the bombing. Trying to still the trembling, he made his hands into fists.<\/p>\n \u201cShe didn\u2019t even tell me about the threatening note from the Muslim girl. God, girls can be so dumb sometimes. Lord, help her to learn wisdom and discretion from all this.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Cheyenne, darkling,\u00a0run away.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Also, can we\u00a0stop\u00a0<\/em>calling these women girls already? In this section, it is revealed that Julie is 25. And remember, Cheyenne is 22. I feel like I remember Bobbie Jo\u2019s age being given as 27 at some point, though I don\u2019t remember where. In this section, Bobbie Jo is identified as being eight years older than young Ben, who is at least 16, so at the very least Bobbie Jo can\u2019t be younger than 24.<\/p>\n These are grown women, not\u00a0girls.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Also, Asher has gone default to fists way too many times. I 100% agree with a comment months ago that Asher is written like a white supremacist bomb-maker in the making. His white hot rage against Muslims can almost be felt<\/em>.<\/p>\n Asher recalled the surprise of the investigators who questioned her after the explosion. The four girls had been warned, and none of them told a single person.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n What exactly is the takeaway here, in terms of the narrative arc of this book, or in terms of fleshing out characters, or showing growth? Are we meant to conclude that the women made a serious, serious mistake in withholding information about the note warning they were in danger? If so, has anyone confronted them about it? How did they respond? Have they learned something specific from this that is going to change their actions in the future? Or did they stand firm?<\/p>\n We don\u2019t get\u00a0any\u00a0<\/em>of this. Nothing at all about whether anyone told the women that this was the wrong course of action, nothing about whether the women now think they made a mistake in withholding that information. We only get \u2026 this<\/em>.<\/p>\n He barked a short laugh as he remembered the Yankee saying, \u201cGee, I thought women couldn\u2019t keep a secret for anything. Four girls and none of them told. A weird bunch of dames.\u201d<\/p>\n Even to his Pacific Northwest ears, his accent sounded like it was from another world. Zulla Mae sounded more normal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n What, is the takeaway that the women are \u2026 strange? Particular? Odd? Perfect for menfolk to share a laugh about? Oh, you know, that\u2019s just\u00a0Cheyenne!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Does Debi know how books work?<\/p>\n Also, Debi is beyond fascinated by accents, and it\u2019s\u00a0odd.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Asher is still thinking of Cheyenne.<\/p>\n Asher glanced into the adjoining room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, to hear her girlish laughter. His eyes dropped as the realization hit him.\u00a0She doesn\u2019t laugh\u00a0like that anymore.\u00a0<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n This is such bullshit<\/em>. Every single interaction we\u2019ve seen Cheyenne have since the bombing (i.e. the whole conversation about repentance) has been untouched by what she went through. The only thing we\u2019ve been told she\u2019s doing that\u2019s odd is talking about Zulla Mae\u2019s babies nonstop, and given what we\u2019ve been told of Cheyenne (that she wants a husband and babies), that does not seem odd.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n This Book Needed Editors<\/strong><\/p>\n So, let\u2019s go back to Asher, because I want to touch on something about the timeline here that makes\u00a0no sense:<\/em><\/p>\n A tear rolled down Asher\u2019s face, dispersing in the new beard he had started growing the day of the bombing.\u00a0So close \u2026 God, it was so close. Can I bear to lose her?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n He walked quickly across the room, trying to outrun his emotions and force his mind to refocus on something else.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This is the closest Debi gets to actually showing that the bombing has affected any of these characters\u2014and frankly, Asher was already worried about Cheyenne\u2019s safety before\u00a0<\/em>all this. Remember when he showed up at the Herb Den and took Cheyenne in his arms in a bear hug and started praying over her, acting all weird? That was\u00a0before\u00a0<\/em>the bombing and\u00a0before\u00a0<\/em>he knew about the threatening note.<\/p>\n Frankly, just moving that scene to\u00a0after\u00a0<\/em>those things would\u2019ve made more sense. I mean, look at the timeline here:<\/p>\n All you have to do to make this make\u00a0a lot\u00a0<\/em>more sense is switch numbers 3 and 4 above. Seriously, what even is this book.<\/p>\n The Do-Nothing White Supremacists\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Asher starts thinking about security.<\/p>\n The Main Street Market, the only gas station in the small hick down, was still owned and operated by a Muslim family. The local townsfolk avoided the place like a plague. Even though the store was open for business, it looked abandoned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I\u2019m sorry,<\/em>\u00a0what?! After that Walmart got blown up, the local white supremacists who supposedly run this town\u00a0would have run this family out of town.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n After 9\/11 the international student my family was matched with was\u00a0scared to leave his\u00a0<\/em>apartment,\u00a0<\/i>and he wasn\u2019t from a country that had anything to do with it. Here we\u2019re talking a local bombing that killed local people (not a bombing in a city far away), white supremacists in charge of all<\/em> of the levers of power, and a Muslim immigrant family that was in fact\u00a0directly involved in the bombing\u2014<\/em>this Main Street Market would have been burned to the ground. And worse.<\/p>\n Oh and you know what? Two pages later there\u2019s this:<\/p>\n Ben had heard from his geek friend that worked in the county courthouse that the local politicians and White Supremacists were hatching a plan to seize The Last Publishers\u2019 ministry property when circumstances were right. He had learned they were messing with the tax record and zoning codes. Obviously they knew about the expected China deal. Cheyenne\u2019s hands knotted.\u00a0Bunch of low-class, dumb, brainless bigots.\u00a0<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n I literally wrote in the margin, in pen, \u201cnone of these people exist in the same universe.\u201d We\u2019re really supposed to believe these white supremacists are hatching all sorts of plans to run The Last Publishers out of town and seize their property, but they don\u2019t give a fig about literal<\/em> Muslim terrorists living in their town?<\/p>\n It\u2019s as though Debi couldn\u2019t decide whether to have her heroes battle white supremacists or Muslim terrorists, and decided to have them battle\u00a0both<\/em> (plus a volcano), but completely forgot that in a consistent universe, these two groups of enemies would also\u00a0be aware of each other.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The LARPing Extravaganza\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n We learn through Asher\u2019s musings that the TLP compound now has a huge fence with motion detectors and infrared heat sensors, and an entrance with two gates 100 feet apart with armed guards stationed at it 24\/7. Because the deer kept setting off the fence, there\u2019s also a secondary fence around the perimeter to keep the deer from getting near the main fence.<\/p>\n In addition, the local church youth group boys have named themselves \u201cGideon\u2019s Band\u201d and have erected four deer stands around the perimeter, which they stay in all night wielding night vision goggles and mobile radios.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, Louise has moved all of the employees from her former diner into the TLP compound, where they all live together in a mobile home Malachi moved onto the property. They offered to work for free, but Malachi is magnanimous, so in addition to letting them live on the compound they\u2019re receiving \u201clow wages,\u201d but they\u2019re donating most of that back to the TLP ministry anyway.<\/p>\n Wow. This is starting to feel more and more like a cult. The only thing that\u2019s missing is more talk about guns. The guards at the main gate are armed, but the teens in the deer stands seem to just be LARPing.<\/p>\n We\u2019re told everyone loves Louise, and are treated to a scene where she slaps Bobbie Jo\u2019s hand when Bobbie Jo tries to take a cookie. Bobbie Jo, remember, is the one Debi keeps referring to as the \u201cbig girl.\u201d Ha. Ha. She is heavy and she wants to eat cookies, so funny. And by that I mean\u00a0seriously not cool.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Julie, Mirage Girl<\/strong><\/p>\n Cheyenne goes into an office to try calling Rob Cohen on the secure line again, and walks in on Julie and Yancey making out in the dark. At least\u00a0I think\u00a0<\/em>they were making out\u2014all we\u2019re told is that \u201cJulie jumped away from Yancey, who was half sitting against the office desk.\u201d We\u2019re not told anything else about what they were doing, except that after Cheyenne flees, Julie walks out \u201cwith her head down.\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t think we\u2019re meant to think they were actually having sex. But I\u2019m also not sure if they were actually making out. Julie\u2019s crime appears to be \u2026 being alone in a room with Yancey. Which signals her interest. That\u2019s the crime.<\/p>\n Bobbie Jo is in the hallway when Cheyenne comes dashing out of the office, and she also sees Julie, and then Yancey, exit the room.<\/p>\n Bobbie Jo considered Yancey\u2019s better qualities: cute, witty, intelligent \u2026 but something about him wasn\u2019t on the mark.\u00a0I would\u00a0never even consider him as a mate.\u00a0<\/i>She shook her head. But obviously Julie thought him a worthy catch.<\/p>\n The big girl bit the inside of her cheek as she made a quick decision.\u00a0Julie is 25 years old. She needs the freedom to prove what\u2019s in her soul. It\u2019s not my place to persuade her otherwise.\u00a0<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n So in the end, no one says a thing to Julie. But everyone knows what happened, including Louise, who apparently was also nearby at that moment.<\/p>\n Louise leaned over whispering to the young woman, \u201cA girl seeks out her own\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Bobbie Jo looked back at her with an unspoken question.<\/p>\n \u201cYour soul seeks out what you are, Bobbie Jo,\u201d Louise explained. \u201cthe pure of heart is attracted to the pure of heart. The strong woman wants a strong, confident man. So is the case with others\u2026\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Ugh! This is so gross!<\/p>\n Okay, so, Yancey. We met Yancey when he walked into the Herb Den and refused to leave, despite every woman in there strongly hinting that he should. That\u2019s strike one from me\u2013although in theory that could just be lack of awareness in social situations, and I placed more blame on Cheyenne for not telling him directly to leave. Strike two was a heavy implication that he\u2019s spying in some capacity. We don\u2019t really know\u00a0why\u00a0<\/em>he\u2019s in small town Tennessee. He\u2019s clearly up to something\u2014and hiding something\u2014though we\u2019re not told what or why.<\/p>\n Strike three is that Debi\u00a0literally told us\u00a0<\/em>that Yancey fastened on Julie because he correctly identified her as being insecure and thus easy for him to manipulate. So it\u2019s not just that he\u2019s unaware in social situations, it\u2019s that he\u2019s\u00a0overly\u00a0<\/em>aware\u2014he was intentionally playing every single woman in the Herb Den, feeling them out for their weaknesses and figuring out how to best manipulate each.<\/p>\n Poor,\u00a0poor\u00a0<\/em>Julie.<\/p>\n A large part of me wants\u00a0someone\u00a0<\/em>to say\u00a0something\u00a0<\/em>to Julie, to save her from this. The trouble is\u2014what would they say? Even Bobbie Jo isn\u2019t sure why\u00a0<\/em>they think Yancey is no good. This is bizarre! At the very least, they should be able to articulate that this match is a bad one because Yancey isn\u2019t strong in his faith\u2014if he has faith at all! He\u2019s not one of their group\u2014not a good Christian. That\u2019s not why I want Julie warned off him, of course, but the fact that no one even raises\u00a0that\u00a0<\/em>with Julie\u2014or tries to get her to think about what she wants in life, what she envisions with him, or anything at all\u2014is just bizarre.<\/p>\n This is not how this would go down in an actual fundamentalist community. So why is Debi writing it like this? Louise and Bobbie Jo conclude that Julie has a character flaw, or else she wouldn\u2019t seek out someone they have all clearly decided is no good. But that\u2019s\u00a0all they do.\u00a0<\/em>And all anyone does!<\/p>\n People in communities like this are not shy of telling young women their marriage choices are shit. So I don\u2019t even know what is going on here.<\/p>\n This book is\u00a0nuts.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The Extremely Limited Market of Men<\/strong><\/p>\n Anyway, running into Julie and Yancey like this makes Bobbie Jo start thinking about her own prospects in marriage:<\/p>\n The closest to what she liked in a man was young Ben, but he was eight years younger and five inches shorter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Girl, I\u2019ve been there. There was a point where I concluded that the guy I liked best in my family\u2019s faith community was a guy five years younger than me. I asked myself whether I could wait, perhaps, for him to grow up. Thankfully, I didn\u2019t try. Instead, I left for college, where there\u2019s a far wider pool of people to meet.<\/p>\n Bobbie Jo should move to the city, get an apartment, get an office job. I bet she\u2019d like getting drinks with friends, sitting in coffee shops, and having a wider pool of cultural institutions to visit. And she\u2019d have no trouble getting dates, given how Debi has described her physical appearance and its affect on men.<\/p>\n Is it odd to anyone else that Bobbie Jo is described as drop-dead gorgeous, but also treated like she has an eating problem? (The thing with the cookies keeps coming up.) I\u2019m not entirely sure what to make of it.<\/p>\n In Which Only Cheyenne and Asher Are Real<\/b><\/p>\n And with that, back to Cheyenne! Before trying to put a call through to Rob Cohen in a different office, Cheyenne pauses to watch Asher, who is preparing for the meeting with the missionaries (we\u2019ll get to that!).<\/p>\n Cheyenne unconsciously clasped her hands and looked down. She could feel the fabric of her shirt pulling against the scabs on her elbows. She scraped the slowly healing spots, marveling that she had never even felt the wounds until the day after the bombing.<\/p>\n She leaned into the glass door again, watching Asher. He was different since that day. He had a haunted look, a distant remote sadness that made everyone stop talking when he entered the room. He had never been more focused on the task than now. He slept little, worked late and came in early.<\/p>\n Cheyenne wrapped her arms around her body. Her eyes closed.\u00a0I am\u00a0different, too. My girlhood was\u00a0stolen from me \u2026 I am old.\u00a0<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n What. Cheyenne\u2019s girlhood was already over before the bombing. She\u2019s 22. She\u2019s lost other things, sure\u2014her sense of safety, say\u2014but that just reads \u2026 weirdly.<\/p>\n Look, I\u2019m not going to scrutinize how people deal with trauma as individuals, but I sure as heck\u00a0am\u00a0<\/em>going to scrutinize how Debi\u00a0writes\u00a0<\/em>about people dealing with trauma. Reading through this section feels jarring, because the only people who seem to be affected by the bombing are Cheyenne (and only sporadically) and Asher (and he was already morose anyway). Everyone else is 100% normal.<\/p>\n For instance: Debi could have written it such that Julie has run to Yancey because this bombing has freaked her out, and he offers comfort and stability, and is the only one to actually focus on\u00a0her.\u00a0<\/em>Bobbie Jo could have mused, in thinking about young Ben, that she might not have time to wait for him to grow up, because that bombing shows how dangerous life is right now, and she could die anytime.<\/p>\n But no. We get none of that. We get an extremely<\/em> affected Cheyenne and Asher, and a perfectly normal everyone else.<\/p>\n Asher wasn\u2019t at the Walmart, and while Bobbie Jo and Julie weren\u2019t either, they\u2019ve both known Cheyenne for far longer than Asher has\u2014they\u2019re her coworkers and best friends. As I said, I don\u2019t want to go scrutinizing someone\u2019s response to trauma\u2014the issue I have here is with Debi\u2019s writing.<\/p>\n I buy that this bombing could have seriously affected Asher, especially if we change the timeline as I suggested, so that it\u2019s the first time he\u2019s thought about Cheyenne actually being in this level of danger. What\u2019s odd is the way Debi is writing Bobbie Jo and Julie. In some sense, Asher\u2019s response stands out as strange only in the stark way it contrasts with Bobbie Jo and Julie.<\/p>\n\n