{"id":6220,"date":"2012-07-03T05:45:57","date_gmt":"2012-07-03T09:45:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=6220"},"modified":"2012-08-10T21:28:19","modified_gmt":"2012-08-11T01:28:19","slug":"how-sally-changed-my-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/07\/how-sally-changed-my-life.html","title":{"rendered":"I write about parenting because Sally changed my life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

As I went through the results of my recent readers survey, I was struck by a particular comment.<\/p>\n

I like your reflections on parenting Sally, but they have little to do with Sally. They are about you reinventing parenting and allowing Sally to teach you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This comment is so true. I never thought when I first gave birth that the little new life I held in my arms would so profoundly change me<\/em>. Not simply change my life, but actually really truly change who I am as a person. Sally has spurred me to introspect on my upbringing, my values, and the way I relate to others, but more than that, the parenting adventure I undertook when I birthed Sally has changed how I approach and understand life.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t one of those \u201cnow that I have children I know what it\u2019s like to have true meaning in life\u201d posts. It\u2019s not that I\u2019ve suddenly realized that compared to mothering nothing else in life matters, because, well, the opposite is actually true. Having always viewed motherhood as my primary role in life, I have come to see that I can \u2013 and should \u2013 have an identity outside of being a parent. At the same time that motherhood has profoundly changed me, I have also found that motherhood is not all that I am.<\/p>\n

When I first gave birth to Sally, I had questioned some of my upbringing but not all. I still planned to follow the Pearls\u2019 child rearing methods<\/a>, still placed a high value on immediate obedience, and still saw my role as training rather than guiding. Then one day when Sally was about ten months old, all of that changed. I realized as I followed the methods I had been taught that I was spanking her for curiosity, not for disobedience, and my reaction was one of horror. What was I doing? And that began a journey in which I questioned essentially everything I\u2019d been taught about parenting, obedience, and authority. One thing spilled into another, and I found I couldn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>When I write about parenting and about Sally, I\u2019m writing about myself and my journey. I\u2019m writing about what happened when I stepped outside of the parenting roles I\u2019d been taught were so crucial and questioned everything about parenting I\u2019d thought was so obvious it was beyond question. I didn\u2019t realize when I jettisoned everything I\u2019d thought I\u2019d known about child rearing that doing so would so completely change my life.<\/p>\n

And my posts on parenting are about so much more than just parenting<\/em>. They\u2019re about life, about raw humanity, and about discovering a way of living outside of the patriarchal and authoritarian structures with which so many of us have had to struggle. They\u2019re about a reinvention of who I am, and who I want to be. They\u2019re about a new way of relating to humanity, and a new way of viewing those around me. They\u2019re about, quite simply, how Sally changed my life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m trying to think of a short title for my parenting posts. I want one for organization\u2019s sake, and also because I often come up with titles that don\u2019t mention parenting, so a short title at the front clarifies the topic. A friend mentioned that I could go with \u201cParenting Unroled,\u201d but I was wondering if anyone else had any suggestions. Ideally, it would only be two words or so long, and would go at the front of each post I do on a parenting-related subject (i.e., \u201cParenting Unroled: On Causes and Symptoms\u201d). Thoughts or suggestions?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I went through the results of my recent readers survey, I was struck by a particular comment. I like your reflections on parenting Sally, but they have little to do with Sally. They are about you reinventing parenting and allowing Sally to teach you. This comment is so true. I never thought when I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[143],"class_list":["post-6220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting","tag-positive-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nI write about parenting because Sally changed my life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As I went through the results of my recent readers survey, I was struck by a particular comment. 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