A post in the\u00a0Raised Evangelical<\/span><\/a>\u00a0series.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Question 1:\u00a0Please introduce yourself before we\u00a0get started, providing a brief snapshot of your background an overview of your beliefs today.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I am Angie, a 24-year-old recent college graduate who is married. When I was around 5 years old my mom and dad became involved in the Church of God denomination; they became more and more involved as I grew up and my father served as youth pastor to our church during my teen years. I grew away from my parents\u2019 beliefs in college and am now an atheist.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 2:\u00a0How did your family and religious community self identify? As evangelicals? As fundamentalists? Or as something else? What did these terms mean to your parents and religious community?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n My parents considered themselves \u201cPentecostal holiness,\u201d which I now interpret to be part of the fundamentalist movement because if it\u2019s focus on \u201cold-fashioned values\u201d and gender standards from an older time. My parents considered Pentecostal to refer to speaking in tongues<\/a> and being compelled bodily to dance, run and shout when under influence from the holy spirit, or holy ghost as they called it often. The holiness bit referred to appearing separate from the rest of the world, in speech, action and mostly appearance. This is where the focus on modest clothing and men dressing as men and women dressing as women came in.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 3:\u00a0How did your parents become evangelicals or fundamentalists? Did they grow up in evangelical or fundamentalist families, or did they convert later?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n My parents converted in their mid-twenties because one of my uncles had already converted and was a preacher. My father converted specifically when he had survived a hospital visit that he considered particularly frightening for treatment for kidney stones.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 1:\u00a0Briefly describe the church your family attended while you were growing up. What role did the pastor play? How large was it? What sort of programs did it offer? What denomination was it? How many times a week did you attend church? How about Bible study or Bible club?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The church we went to was part of the Church of God denomination and had about 100 people in attendance regularly with about half of the members being over fifty. The pastor was a very respected figure and gave sermons 90% of the time with the rest being other members of the congregation and special visitors. There weren\u2019t many programs offered except age-divided classes for young people. Services were held twice on Sunday and once Wednesday nights.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 2:\u00a0When and how were you \u201csaved\u201d? How did your parents and church community respond? Did you have a \u201crelationship with Jesus\u201d? If so, at what age did you form this relationship? Please describe what all it entailed. Or, if you attended a church that was more liturgical and did not emphasize the specific moment of salvation or having a personal relationship with Jesus, what were considered to be most important milestones of a religious upbringing (i.e. confirmation, etc.) and how did you experience them?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I had a difficult time accepting the concept of salvation, and experienced no insignificant amount of stress over whether or not I was saved. As a child I literally couldn\u2019t sleep at night because I would be asking god to forgive me over and over again in case I had sinned. Eventually I became more secure in my salvation around the age of 13 and my family was very happy, both because they were less worried about my soul and because the nighttime problems lessened. \u00a0The stress continued over whether or not I was sinning, but I at least had some stability then. There was definitely a focus on the moment of salvation, and after that one was expected to work towards \u201csanctification.\u201d This was an acceptance of holiness in one\u2019s life where vices were given up and commitments were made. These commitments ranged from women vowing to always wear skirts and dresses to promising to never drink soda again. The purpose of this was to prepare one for the holy ghost and \u201cbaptismal in the holy ghost\u201d which speaking in tongues was the evidence of. I never made it that far, something kept me from being able to speak in tongues.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 3:\u00a0How did your family and church view the\u00a0Bible, and what role did it play in your life growing up and in the life of your family and church?\u00a0How often did you, your siblings, and your parents read the Bible? Were you guided by your parents or pastors in how to interpret the Bible, especially certain passages, or were you generally free to form your own ideas about what the Bible said?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The Bible was viewed as entirely perfect, non-contradictory and literal. We were encouraged to read it daily, and for most of my teenage years I did just that. There was definite guidance in interpretation from sermons, youth group classes, and one-on-one when I had a question about a passage.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 4:\u00a0What role did race play in your church? Were there any black or Hispanic families? Were they treated differently?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n No, aside from one foster child the entire church was white.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 1:\u00a0What did your church teach about gender roles, the family, and marriage?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Gender roles were emphasized with clothing, men wore pants, women wore dresses or skirts. Activities were not governed as harshly though, they thought it was fine for a woman to have a farm or to do manual labor, just not to dress like a man. In the family, the man was unquestionably the leader and the final say in any situation. Marriage was to be defended against divorce and the gays and ideally be between two virgins with the consent of both sets of parents.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 2:\u00a0Describe your parents\u2019 marriage. Was it complementarian (i.e. \u201csoft\u201d patriarchy), or more openly patriarchal, or in practice egalitarian? Did your family or church use any of these terms?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n My church didn\u2019t use terms like this, only taught that the man was the head of the family. In practice though, there were certainly families where the woman was more authoritarian than the man. This was not the case in my family, it was more that my father acted as if he was in complete control but my mother, my brothers and I more placated him with obedience and hid things from him that would displease him.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 3:\u00a0In what ways were boys and girls in your family expected to dress or act differently from each other? Were there certain things it was appropriate for girls to do but not boys, and vice versa?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The differences were often more in clothing than anything else. Boys and girls in youth group were both allowed to participate in backyard football, as long as the girls were in skirts and the boys in pants. This extended to extreme circumstances, such as beach and lake trips with the youth group. We were quite a sight, a bunch of teenagers playing at the beach fully clothed.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 4:\u00a0In what ways were boys and girls in your family raised differently vocationally? Were the girls expected to be stay at home mothers or to hold jobs? Did your mother work, and if so, how was that viewed by your family and church?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n My church was very practical in this matter, few families could afford to live off of one income so nobody thought twice about both parents working.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 1:\u00a0What sort of education did you have: public school, Christian school, or homeschool? What reasons did your parents give for choosing the method of education for you that they chose?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Public school, they would have preferred homeschooling but couldn\u2019t afford it. They did consider private Christian schools, but in my county private schools were not prestigious or high quality, more for kids who got kicked out of public school and people too afraid to subject their kids to the secular world.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 2:\u00a0Briefly describe the academic aspect of your educational experience (public school, Christian school, or homeschool), focusing on the role played by religion. If you were public schooled, did your parents try to counteract anything you were learning at school with different teachings at home (i.e. sex education, evolution)? Or, did the public schools in your area find ways to include things like creationism or abstinence only sex education?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n My mother refused to let me attend sex education the first two years it was offered because she \u201cdidn\u2019t want anyone teaching me how to get pregnant.\u201d They tried hard to counteract the teaching of evolution, subscribing to Creation Magazine and buying me many books about creationism since I had a strong interest in science and especially dinosaurs. Oddly enough my belief in creationism was the first thing to go.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 3:\u00a0Briefly describe the social aspect of your upbringing, especially as influenced by religion. How did your educational experience (public school, Christian school, or homeschool) affect your socialization? Was your friend group religiously diverse or more homogeneous? If you were public schooled, did your religious background cause you any social problems in school?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I was a social wreck at school (public), wearing only skirts and dresses did not suit my tomboy nature and lead to me having absolutely zero self-confidence. In addition I screened all potential friends against my religious standards and not surprisingly, few people passed far enough for me to accept them. It was only in college that I began to learn to make friends and be social.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 4:\u00a0Did\u00a0you attended Sunday school, youth group, Bible club, or church camp? Please describe your experiences.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I went to Sunday school and Wednesday night youth group services. My father taught Wednesday\u2019s because he was the youth pastor and because of this I was expected to be a model for the other kids more so than I would have been otherwise. They were not bad experiences, definitely more enjoyable than services with the larger congregation, and thus contributed to most of my indoctrination because they were much more palatable. Wednesdays consisted of a short socializing time, usually a metaphorical game of some sort followed by an explanatory serious talk by my father. Things were always wrapped up with prayer that usually asked for participation. A common ending was everyone bowing their heads (except my father) him giving an alter-call like speech, then asking all who were certain they were saved to raise their hands. This would be followed a request for those who were not certain being asked to raise their hands if they wanted to be saved. Then my father would instruct them on how before ending the prayer and the class.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 1:\u00a0What were you taught about physical and emotional purity, and also about modesty? What did your family believe about dating and\/or courtship? How was sex education handled?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Dating was seen as perfectly okay, I wasn\u2019t introduced to the concept of emotional purity, only physical. My parents never broached sex education, I guess they figured I didn\u2019t need to know until I got married and then I\u2019d just figure it out.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 2:\u00a0How did the things you were taught about purity, modesty, and dating\/courtship work out for you in practice? Did you date, and at what age? Did you have sex before marriage, and if you did, did you experience guilt? In\u00a0essence, explain how belief met practice and with what results.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t date until college, but mostly because I was shy and because my father was opposed to me dating. He never said no, but I knew he didn\u2019t approve so I didn\u2019t try too hard to find a boyfriend. I had my first boyfriend at 18 and ended up having sex with him 6 months into our relationship. I was already questioning my beliefs at the time and that was just another step in the breakdown of me being Christian. I didn\u2019t feel guilty about the sex itself, but in the months previous to it I felt very guilty about the other sexual activities we engaged in. Other than that I didn\u2019t experience a lot of stress over the event.<\/span><\/p>\n Question 3:\u00a0How do you feel about your family and church\u2019s purity, modesty, and dating\/courtship teachings today? Do you think there are any parts of these teachings that still have value? How do you plan to handle these issues with your own children?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n I think the teachings of my church were totally unrealistic, and lead people to make the decision to get married too early in order to have sex and it not be sinful. I feel like that teaching ruined life for several of the people I grew up with because they married people they weren\u2019t actually compatible with. I get that they wanted people to be careful about sex, but their version of careful went too far and lead people to make bad decisions. I\u2019ll teach my children to be careful about sex, and be sure they\u2019re waiting until the right time with the right person, but not necessarily until marriage.<\/span><\/p>\nSection 1: Introductory Questions<\/span><\/h1>\n
Section 2:\u00a0Theology<\/span><\/h1>\n
Section 3: Gender and Family<\/span><\/h1>\n
Section 4:\u00a0Education<\/span><\/h1>\n
Section 5:\u00a0Purity<\/span><\/h1>\n