![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2012\/09\/Mother-Daughter.jpg\" "\\"Mother")
<\/a>One of the things I work hardest at as a parent is understanding my children and their needs. When Sally is \u201cacting up,\u201d I try to understand why and address that, rather than simply punishing her behavior. When she speaks up to explain something or make her desires heard, I see that as communication, not \u201cback talk.\u201d And most of all, I make sure to let her know that I\u00a0understand<\/em>. I\u00a0understand<\/em>\u00a0that she doesn\u2019t want to leave the library yet. I\u00a0understand<\/em>\u00a0that she wants to stay up later and not go to bed. I\u00a0understand<\/em>\u00a0that dumping the flour all over the counter is fun. I get it. I really do. And somehow, knowing that I understand and am willing to listen to her and hear her out makes Sally just that much more willing to cooperate and try to understand my perspective in turn. Because it\u2019s not about me versus her. It\u2019s about me plus her. And there\u2019s something beautiful about that.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I grew up with evangelical and fundamentalist child rearing literature that pitted parent against child and child against parent. As a mother now myself, I do things differently. In this post, I use an anecdote with my daughter Sally to explain how I approach our relationship and why I focus on understanding rather than obedience. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[143,255],"class_list":["post-8818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting","tag-positive-parenting","tag-understanding"],"yoast_head":"\n