A post in the\u00a0Raised Evangelical<\/span><\/a>\u00a0series.<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Question 1: Please introduce yourself before we\u00a0get started, providing a brief snapshot of your background an overview of your beliefs today.<\/strong><\/p>\n My name is Jenn and I am 40 years old and married with no children.<\/p>\n I was raised in what I considered a very religious family. \u00a0My parents converted from Baptist to Evangelical not long after I was born and I was the only child brought up wholly Evangelical. \u00a0I was very dedicated to my faith and intended to become a missionary when I grew up. \u00a0I was accepted into Bible school for college, but my parents did not want me to go to school away from home, so I attended a public university near our home, which was just supposed to be \u201cfor a year\u201d.<\/p>\n While in college I met a man who was not Christian and eventually we got engaged. \u00a0From there I questioned my beliefs and followed the path that I find many Evangelicals do when they leave the faith, from Fundamentalist to not believing the Bible is inerrant to believing in God, but not necessarily salvation to spirituality (belief in something more than can be explained, but not Christianity) to agnosticism to atheism.<\/p>\n Question 2: How did your family and religious community self identify? As evangelicals? As fundamentalists? Or as something else? What did these terms mean to your parents and religious community?<\/strong><\/p>\n My family self-identified as Evangelical, Pentecostal<\/a>, Charismatic, and Fundamentalist.<\/p>\n Evangelical to me was the belief that the gospel should be shared, spread across the world, and I should seek to lead every person I encountered to salvation.<\/p>\n Pentecostal to me was the belief in baptism in the Holy Spirit, glossolalia (speaking in tongues), prophecy, divine healing, and eschatology (or the second coming of Christ, rapture, and tribulation). \u00a0I was dispensationalist (pre-milliannialist).<\/p>\n Charismatic to me was the belief that all Christians had been given gifts and talents to serve God. \u00a0Not using one\u2019s God-given talents or gifts was considered a sin and a rejection of God. \u00a0Of course the definition of that talent or gift and what the person was supposed to do with it was largely defined by church leaders, and usually not by an individual.<\/p>\n Fundamentalism to me was the belief in the divine inspiration of the Bible and its inerrancy. \u00a0The Bible was the word of God given to use directly. \u00a0Even though the Bible was written by different people, they were writing what God was telling them to write through divine inspiration.<\/p>\n Question 3: How did your parents become evangelicals or fundamentalists? Did they grow up in evangelical or fundamentalist families, or did they convert later?<\/strong><\/p>\n My parents both were brought up Baptist. \u00a0My grandfather on my Dad\u2019s side became a Baptist preacher later in life, but I believe that he was a farmer most of his life. \u00a0He was very strict about the role of women (subordinate) and that women should not wear makeup, pants, or short skirts (and especially not shorts). \u00a0That carried over to us, but my mother often fought to change those rules because it wasn\u2019t the way she was raised. \u00a0She didn\u2019t believe pants were men\u2019s clothes or that women should have to be shapeless to preserve modesty.<\/p>\n My mom was brought up in a Baptist household, but her parents were not very devout when she was growing up. \u00a0Her father was an alcoholic. \u00a0As my grandmother got older she became more serious about her faith. \u00a0She alienated my uncle by telling him over and over that he was going to hell because he was Catholic. \u00a0She alienated most of the family by being very judgmental over every aspect of our lives.<\/p>\n My dad had a lot of old fashioned beliefs when he and my mom got married. \u00a0I think my mom was more progressive, although I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d ever consider her a feminist. \u00a0She still believed that the wife should submit to the husband, but she didn\u2019t think that women should give up their independence completely. \u00a0The husband may have the last word, but the wife was capable of making decisions and running the household and her own affairs without checking on every little thing.<\/p>\n I think I got some of my feminist tendencies from my mom. \u00a0I rebelled against the idea that I should be treated differently than my brothers. \u00a0And I couldn\u2019t accept the idea that God would make me less than. \u00a0I struggled often with the literal text of the Bible and my own sense of justice.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know how my parents became Evangelicals. \u00a0I think it was through television evangelism programs, but I was too young to remember that time and we never talked about it. \u00a0In 1978 my parents moved to Charlotte, NC to be closer to Jim Bakker\u2019s outreach, PTL.<\/p>\n Question 1: Briefly describe the church your family attended while you were growing up. What role did the pastor play? How large was it? What sort of programs did it offer? What denomination was it? How many times a week did you attend church? How about Bible study or Bible club?<\/strong><\/p>\n We started attending small Evangelical churches sometime after I was born, but before I was 5. \u00a0I was \u201csaved\u201d at the age of 5 and baptized in the Holy Spirit when I was 7 (as well as baptized in water). \u00a0I believed in the speaking of tongues and being slain in the spirit, but I wasn\u2019t sure why it never happened to me or why it scared me to try. \u00a0Much later in my life I realized I was faking a lot of what I was supposed to believe. \u00a0I was trying to act through faith, but in reality I was doing things just so I wouldn\u2019t be different than the other people in my church.<\/p>\n We attended small churches after moving to NC that had words like Grace, Victory, and Word (of God) in their titles. \u00a0We started out meeting in the homes of a member and eventually rented space in convention hotels or office buildings. \u00a0We stayed at one church long enough for them to build an actual church building on property they purchased. \u00a0A lot of our departures from these churches were due to scandals or schisms within the church. \u00a0The pastor got a divorce or the worship leader had a disagreement with the pastor and left, taking half the congregation. \u00a0Or a church leader was involved in something he shouldn\u2019t have (some sort of scandal) and was dismissed.<\/p>\n Even now my parents prefer to attend small churches that meet at someone\u2019s house or are what you\u2019d call a storefront church, meeting in a small commercial space.<\/p>\n My churches usually offered Sunday school for children and a youth group. \u00a0Usual services on Sunday morning were started with praise and worship (singing) for an hour. \u00a0After that the children were dismissed to Sunday school and the adults stayed for the sermon. \u00a0Sunday school was usually a sermon that was targeted towards a particular age level. \u00a0We were divided into preschool (more like daycare), young children, and young adult.<\/p>\n We also had service on Sunday evenings and Wednesday evenings. \u00a0I went to service with my parents most Sundays and Wednesdays. \u00a0My siblings were out of the house by this time and I liked church, which was my main social outlet, so instead of resisting going to church, I encouraged my parents to take me.<\/p>\n On Monday nights at my last church growing up we had youth group, where the teenagers would get together for Bible study and we would often play games and do things that were fun too. We also planned events like witnessing to people in the inner city or Bible camp in the summers.<\/p>\n Question 2: When and how were you \u201csaved\u201d? How did your parents and church community respond? Did you have a \u201crelationship with Jesus\u201d? If so, at what age did you form this relationship? Please describe what all it entailed. Or, if you attended a church that was more liturgical and did not emphasize the specific moment of salvation or having a personal relationship with Jesus, what were considered to be most important milestones of a religious upbringing (i.e. confirmation, etc.) and how did you experience them?<\/strong><\/p>\n I was at a Vacation Bible School when I was 5 years old when being \u201csaved\u201d was explained to me. \u00a0My parents weren\u2019t in my class and didn\u2019t know until the teacher told them later. \u00a0My mom was very excited. \u00a0I had a relationship with Jesus, but I always felt like it was pretty one sided. \u00a0I never heard his voice, just acted on what I thought I should do based on what I was taught. \u00a0That was following God\u2019s word according to my pastors.<\/p>\n I was baptized in the Holy Spirit when I was 7. \u00a0My parents were away on a tour of the \u201choly land\u201d at the time. \u00a0My mom complained that she was never there when these big events happened. \u00a0And I still have a picture taken when I was 7 being baptized in the swimming pool of the hotel where we held our church services.<\/p>\n These three milestones weren\u2019t very formal, other than there was a call for it at the start of service, but they were very important milestones in our spiritual lives. \u00a0They showed acceptance and maturity in our community<\/p>\n Question 3: How did your family and church view the\u00a0Bible, and what role did it play in your life growing up and in the life of your family and church?\u00a0How often did you, your siblings, and your parents read the Bible? Were you guided by your parents or pastors in how to interpret the Bible, especially certain passages, or were you generally free to form your own ideas about what the Bible said?<\/strong><\/p>\n The Bible was the divinely inspired word of God (being that God told people what to write). \u00a0I was taught that it was unchanged from its original form since it was first written. \u00a0I knew the books were written at different times, but I was not taught about how text was copied over time and changed due to unintentional or intentional copying mistakes. \u00a0I was told that God kept his words the same over that time.<\/p>\n I also only had a small understanding of how the New Testament became the text it is through a conference of church leaders. \u00a0While I was always taught to respect church leaders I was also taught that man was fallible and everyone was subject to making mistakes (a conflict with the divine inspiration in writing the Bible). \u00a0But I was familiar with the Council of Nicaea in my history studies (A Beka Books), but had little idea of the transition of Biblical ideas even up to the 20th century. I was taught everything I believed was as the apostles believed.<\/p>\n For graduation my youth pastor gave me a Strong\u2019s Concordance to use along with reading scripture to understand the Greek translation better, so of course I knew the New Testament had originally been written in Greek and was not the King James version, but I thought Biblical scholars were resolute in their understanding of the Bible and the translations.<\/p>\n Most church services were about specific passages of the Bible. \u00a0One verse or chapter was taken and the pastor would spend the service talking about the words and the significance and how it should impact our lives as Christians. \u00a0There was some leeway for interpretation, unless it conflicted with the fundamental theology of Christianity. \u00a0The way to salvation, the divinity of God, the inerrancy of the Bible, and the second coming of Christ are all examples of theology that was not to be questioned because it was the basis of faith. \u00a0But beliefs that weren\u2019t as fundamental to the faith like whether or not women should be able to speak in church were open to debate. \u00a0Maybe it was okay for a woman to speak out during prophecy if she felt inspired by God. \u00a0She was after all only acting as a vessel. \u00a0But to lead the service and teach, that might be a different matter depending on how the epistles were interpreted.<\/p>\n Question 4: What role did race play in your church? Were there any black or Hispanic families? Were they treated differently?<\/strong><\/p>\n There were very few black families and I don\u2019t remember any Hispanic families. \u00a0This was during the 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, so Hispanic families weren\u2019t as common in the community. \u00a0I don\u2019t remember black families being treated differently. \u00a0I had friends in the church and in my Christian schools that were black and didn\u2019t think of them any differently. \u00a0But, understanding the bias within our culture better, I am sure there was bias. \u00a0Because our congregation was usually white and middle to upper middle class I\u2019m sure that homogeny lead to bias. \u00a0Being different was a big deal when it came to perceived piety or chastity, so I\u2019m sure it was also a big deal when it came to other differences.<\/p>\n Question 1: What did your church teach about gender roles, the family, and marriage?<\/strong><\/p>\n There wasn\u2019t as much of an emphasis about marriage being between one man and one woman as it is today in many Evangelical\u00a0churches because there wasn\u2019t any concept of marriage between anyone else in the mainstream at the time I was growing up. \u00a0It just wasn\u2019t something that was even discussed. \u00a0Normal depictions of a family were white with a mother, father, and children. \u00a0The children were gender segregated. \u00a0Duties in the household were often gender segregated. \u00a0Women and girls were always shown wearing dresses. \u00a0It was very \u201cLeave It to Beaver.\u201d<\/p>\n Question 2: Describe your parents\u2019 marriage. Was it complementarian (i.e. \u201csoft\u201d patriarchy), or more openly patriarchal, or in practice egalitarian? Did your family or church use any of these terms?<\/strong><\/p>\n I never heard of the word comlementarian when I was growing up, but that was probably the closest to our belief. \u00a0Women were to submit to their husbands. \u00a0Women and men served different roles, roles defined by God, within the family and within marriage. \u00a0Our churches were probably more liberal than my parents. \u00a0My father came from a family that was openly patriarchal. \u00a0Back when my grandparents got married a woman could be beaten for not obeying her husband and it was justified as the right of the husband. \u00a0These ideas didn\u2019t sit well with my mother though so over the years she softened my father.<\/p>\n Question 3: In what ways were boys and girls in your family expected to dress or act differently from each other? Were there certain things it was appropriate for girls to do but not boys, and vice versa?<\/strong><\/p>\n The women in my family were only required to wear skirts when we visited my dad\u2019s parents. \u00a0They did not approve of the way my parents raised us kids. \u00a0We had gender specific toys and all the trappings of the culture of our time minus the worldliness of secular music and movies. \u00a0It was the sort of gender bias that dictated that girls play with dolls and boys play with cars.<\/p>\n I remember being angry because there was a different set of standards for my brothers than for me. \u00a0I wasn\u2019t allowed to do certain things alone because it wasn\u2019t safe for a girl, where it would be for a boy.<\/p>\n Our chores in the household weren\u2019t segregated. We all had to do dishes and clean up the kitchen on a schedule after the family meal. \u00a0My sister mowed the yard as often as my brothers. \u00a0But even so there were gender expectations. \u00a0Although my dad was great with young children and would take care of them just as my mom would, there was still the idea that a mother took care of the children while a father provided for the family.<\/p>\n Question 4: In what ways were boys and girls in your family raised differently vocationally? Were the girls expected to be stay at home mothers or to hold jobs? Did your mother work, and if so, how was that viewed by your family and church?<\/strong><\/p>\n My mother worked most of the time after I was born. \u00a0I think she stayed at home early in her married life and when she had young children. \u00a0I was the youngest of 4 and the gap between me and my next oldest sibling was as wide as it was between the oldest and third child. \u00a0By the time I was 12 everyone was out of the house except for me.<\/p>\n My father controlled the family through money and my mother sought independence through having her own income. \u00a0So she started working part time by the time I went to school.<\/p>\n My father really valued education though. \u00a0And I was good in school. \u00a0He encouraged me to do anything I wanted to do. \u00a0I was drawn to science and history and my parents both encouraged me to pursue studies that would lead to a career that would allow me to support myself.<\/p>\n There were still gender biases in the roles women and men should fill within the work place, but I was encouraged to make the most of my learning and go as far as I could go in a career.<\/p>\n I think it\u2019s surprising to both my parents that I didn\u2019t have children. \u00a0I think it\u2019s surprising that they only have three grandchildren. My brother (third child) also never had children. \u00a0My parents love children and my dad told me that they would have had more children, but they stopped at 4 because that was all they could afford at the time. \u00a0Self-reliance was important to my dad and he would have never been able to take charity. \u00a0He took pride in supporting his family himself.<\/p>\n Question 1: What sort of education did you have: public school, Christian school, or home school? What reasons did your parents give for choosing the method of education for you that they chose?<\/strong><\/p>\n I went to Christian school in kindergarten (4 year & half of 5 year), 1st grade, and 3rd \u2013 9th grade. \u00a0We moved halfway through kindergarten and I was placed in public school after the move. \u00a0I went to school at PTL in 1st grade, Bible Baptist in 3rd and half of 4th, First Assembly half of 4th through 8th, back to PTL for 9th, and then public school for 10th and 11th. \u00a0I graduated early because I had enough credits. \u00a0Counting that up I went to 8 different schools through 13 years of education.<\/p>\n I think the Mathematics was probably good, but all the other subjects were mainly memorization and regurgitation. \u00a0I completely felt robbed of an education when I finally realized what I missed in science, history, and English literature years later after I\u2019d graduated. Question 2: Briefly describe the academic aspect of your educational experience (public school, Christian school, or home school), focusing on the role played by religion. If you were public schooled, did your parents try to counteract anything you were learning at school with different teachings at home (i.e. sex education, evolution)? Or, did the public schools in your area find ways to include things like creationism or abstinence only sex education?<\/strong><\/p>\n I was in Christian schools for the majority of my education. \u00a0My education was mostly through A Beka Books curriculum. My brother and sister went through PACE, which was a horrible, teach yourself at your own pace education system. \u00a0\u00a0Classes were not led by teaches. \u00a0Students had to stay quiet in their cubicles and put up a flag when they had a question as they worked through workbooks. \u00a0It was not learning.<\/p>\n A Beka was mostly memorization. \u00a0Science was probably the worst of all of the subjects because all we did was memorize \u201cfacts\u201d rather than learn any kind of critical thinking. \u00a0We memorized the scientific method, but never applied it. \u00a0History was a close second because the historical narrative was extremely biased and outright wrong at times.<\/p>\nSection 1: Introduction<\/h1>\n
Section 2: Theology<\/h1>\n
Section 3: Gender and Family<\/h1>\n
Section 4: Education<\/h1>\n
\nI was afraid of public school. \u00a0I was told there were stabbings (no guns, just knives at the time) and rapes at public school. \u00a0It was unsafe and the teachers didn\u2019t care about education. \u00a0I was always told my Christian school curriculum was years ahead of public school curriculum. \u00a0When I finally went back to public school in 10th grade it was only after my parents moved to a small town in South Carolina. \u00a0My class size went from 12 students in 10th grade to 167 in 11th. \u00a0Although it was a small school it felt huge to me.<\/p>\n