Any atheist parent with religious relatives will have to figure out how to deal with the Bible story books their children will inevitably be given for birthdays and Christmas. This is something that\u2019s been on my mind lately because a Noah\u2019s Ark board book has suddenly become my young daughter\u2019s favorite book.<\/p>\n
Some atheist parents may just return Bible themed story books when their children receive them as gifts, and that\u2019s fine, but I didn\u2019t want to do that. Now I know I could just read them to her and not differentiate between them and any of the many other stories she reads, but I\u2019m not sure she\u2019s old enough to understand myth yet and I\u2019m still, I think, a bit gunshy about the whole thing.<\/p>\n
So I\u2019ve taken a different tack altogether.\u00a0I just change the books\u2019 content. My daughter can\u2019t read yet, after all. (Is this where I put an evil smiley?)<\/p>\n
Now to be clear, there are<\/em> a few books I\u2019ve simply removed from my daughter\u2019s bookshelf and hidden away, specifically the ones depicting the crucifixion or other disturbing scenes. You would be surprised how graphic some \u201cchildren\u2019s books\u201d are. This is absolutely not okay with me.\u00a0Most children\u2019s Bible story books, though, are fairly sanitary.<\/p>\n This particular Noah\u2019s Ark book does not show or even mention the large number of people who died anguished deaths in the flood. Instead, it focuses on lots of pictures of animals.\u00a0I read it like this:<\/p>\n This man is Noah. He is building a big boat called an \u201cArk\u201d so that all the animals can have a boat ride. Look, see how excited the animals are? They\u2019re getting on the boat to have a boat ride. Now it\u2019s starting to rain, and look at that, now the boat is in the water. Look how happy all the animals are! And there are the fish, swimming alongside the boat saying \u201chi!\u201d<\/p>\n Now the boat has landed on a big hill, and all the animals are getting out. Wasn\u2019t that a fun boat ride? Look, the boat ride was so fun that Noah and his family are clapping!<\/p>\n And there, in the sky, is a rainbow. We see rainbows in the sky after it rains, and see, there\u2019s a rainbow in the book because it rained while the animals were on their boat ride.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n My daughter loves it. She wants me to read it again and again. She recently found another Bible story book in her bookshelf,\u00a0a nativity scene book, and brought it to me to read. As I took it, I knew I would probably have to be a bit more creative. Here\u2019s how I handled it:<\/p>\n This woman is named Mary.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d my daughter interrupted, pointing at the angel hovering over Mary.<\/p>\n That is an angel. An angel is a person with wings that can fly like a bird. Do people have wings?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s right, people don\u2019t have wings. Angels are just pretend, just in stories. Does that make sense?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cYes. Now read!\u201d<\/p>\n Okay, so anyway, the angel told Mary that she is going to have a baby. Look how excited Mary is! Now look, Mary and her husband Joseph are getting ready for their baby. They can\u2019t wait to meet the new baby. When people have babies they paint rooms and buy clothes and toys and get ready, and that\u2019s what Mary and Joseph are doing.<\/p>\n But look, now they have to go on a trip. Mary is riding on a donkey because they don\u2019t have a car. See her big belly? She\u2019s going to have a baby. Now it\u2019s nighttime, and they have to find somewhere to sleep, but all the hotels are full! What will they do?<\/p>\n There, they found a barn and asked the animals if they could sleep there with them, and the animals said \u201cyes.\u201d Wasn\u2019t that nice?\u00a0That night Mary had her baby. See? There\u2019s the baby, she\u2019s holding it, and all the animals are looking. Mary and Joseph are so happy to have a new baby.<\/p>\n These angels are telling everyone that Mary had her baby, because everyone always gets excited when someone has a baby. Today, we call people on the phone to tell them when a baby is born, and people come to the hospital to see the baby. See look, now the people are coming to the barn to see the new baby.<\/p>\n And here, these old men, these grandpas, are coming to see the baby too. They\u2019re riding on camels because they have no cars. Oh look! The grandpas brought presents for Mary and Joseph\u2019s baby! Wasn\u2019t that nice? People always bring presents when someone has a new baby.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Upon shutting the book, I was rewarded with the words every parent of young children comes to expect and secretly dread: \u201cRead it again!\u201d It seems my maverick book reading abilities are quite a success.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Any atheist parent with religious relatives will have to figure out how to deal with the Bible story books their children will inevitably be given for birthdays and Christmas. This is something that\u2019s been on my mind lately because a Noah\u2019s Ark board book has suddenly become my young daughter\u2019s favorite book. Some atheist parents […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[139,187],"class_list":["post-994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-atheism","tag-humor","tag-parenting-without-god"],"yoast_head":"\n