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Can you imagine if your obituary said this:\u00a0\u201cShe abandoned her children\u2026and will now face judgment\u2026She will not be missed\u2026this world is a better place without her\u201d\u00a0(1)? Shocking its readers, this exact wording actually appeared recently in a newspaper. The woman\u2019s son explained the obituary saying, \u201cWe wanted to finally get the last word\u201d (2).<\/p>\n
Most of us, if honest, have thought such things about someone. But, to put them into print by paying for an obituary to speak against one\u2019s own recently deceased mother caused quite a buzz.<\/p>\n
Apparently, revenge obituaries are a growing trend (3). One called a deceased man \u201ca model example of bad parenting,\u00a0with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive.\u201d Another said a mother spent, \u201cher lifetime torturing [her children] in every way possible\u201d and did not \u201callow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them\u201d.<\/p>\n
Who are you bitter against, holding a grudge toward, infuriated by, unforgiving of, or capable of vengeance against? For your own wellness, you need to receive forgiveness from God through Jesus Christ and share that gift with others for five reasons.<\/p>\n
Exodus 34:6-7 says, \u201cThe LORD passed in front of Moses, calling out,
\n\u201cYahweh! The LORD!<\/p>\n
The God of compassion and mercy!<\/p>\n
I\u2019m slow to anger<\/p>\n
and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.<\/p>\n
I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.<\/p>\n
I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.<\/p>\n
But I don\u2019t excuse the guilty\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
In this verse, the God of the Bible wants to be known for his compassionate mercy, patient forbearance, and loving faithfulness that compels him to forgive guilty, rebellious sinners like you and me.<\/p>\n
Do your habits of forgiveness show off this God of compassion and mercy? These are the words God uses to introduce himself to the beleaguered, battered, and broken, all who need the hope, help, and healing of forgiveness. Do these same words to describe your character?
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2. When you forgive, you give others what God has already given you.<\/h3>\nChristians have always believed that unless we are forgiven by God through Jesus Christ, we have no joyful relationship with God in this life or the eternal life to come.<\/p>\n
Without being forgiven by others and forgiving those with whom we journey in this life, we will never experience joyful relationships. Christianity as a living faith simply does not, cannot, and will not exist without forgiveness, which is why the ancient Apostles Creed teaches us to confess, \u201cI believe in the forgiveness of sins.\u201d<\/p>\n
In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus says,\u00a0\u201cIf you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.\u201d To make sure we don\u2019t miss that point, in Mark 11:25 Jesus also says, \u201cWhen you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
If we wonder what this forgiveness looks and feels like in real life, Paul tells us in Colossians 3:12-13, \u201cSince God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other\u2019s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.\u201d In Ephesians 4:32 he adds, \u201cBe kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.\u201d Jesus Christ stepped in our place to suffer and die for our sins so that we could be forgiven. Jesus rose from death to conquer both sin and death so that we could be in loving relationship with God forever.<\/p>\n
Have you experienced God\u2019s tender mercy? Is that the depth and breadth of forgiveness you pass along to others?<\/p>\n
Forgiven people are to be forgiving people. That\u2019s the big idea we hear from both our Lord and his lead apostle, Paul. It\u2019s nothing less than hypocrisy to be forgiven and not be forgiving. What we have done to Jesus is worse than what anyone has done to us. We have no right to be forgiven and then be unforgiving. We cannot have it both ways.<\/p>\n
When we sin, we want God and others to give us grace. But when someone sins against us, we want justice executed against them. Grace for us and law for them is the depth of ungodliness. Grace for us and grace for them is the peak of godliness. Giving grace just as God has given us grace doesn\u2019t mean that what they did was no big deal, didn\u2019t harm us, or that we even want to be close to them in the future. Forgiveness is how we \u201cbless\u201d even our \u201cenemies\u201d as Jesus taught (Luke 6:27-35) and how we conquer evil with good (Romans 12:20-21).
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3. When you forgive, you are blessed.<\/h3>\nThere\u2019s a lie we often believe: that if we forgive someone, then we are committing an injustice by letting them get away with their wrongdoing. There\u2019s also a truth we need to continually remind ourselves of: that when we forgive we aren\u2019t allowing someone to get away with anything but we are allowing ourselves to get away from everything.<\/p>\n
When we forgive, we leave the field of battle where all the bleeding is happening. We stop focusing on winning and start focusing on living. And that brings us an incredible richness of blessing.<\/p>\n
Are you experiencing the physical blessings of forgiveness? Forgiveness has the potential to lower stress, improve blood pressure, give more restful sleep, and bestow overall healing as we transfer our burdens to God. Unforgiveness causes the pain of the past to live with us in the present and haunt us in the future. Our body isn\u2019t built for that constant stress.<\/p>\n
Are you experiencing the emotional blessings of forgiveness? Unburdening ourselves of past pain invites joy back into our present and lets us get on with our future. Bitter people are never joyful people with hope for their future, because they are burdened people obsessed with their painful past.<\/p>\n
Are you experiencing the mental blessing of forgiveness? You can stop manically replaying past hurts and center our mind on God, life, and a better future. Paul says it this way in Philippians 3:13: \u201cI focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
Are you experiencing the\u00a0relational blessing of forgiveness? Forgiveness lets us emerge from isolation, heal up, experience peace, and start pursuing relationships again. Forgiveness allows us to stop wasting our energy on the worst people in our past and give it to the best people in our present and future.<\/p>\n
Are you\u00a0experiencing the\u00a0spiritual blessing of forgiveness? It allows us to escape the bitter spirit that keeps us distant from God. Bitter people are so close to their pain that they\u2019re no longer close to their God.
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4. When you forgive, you defeat the demonic.<\/h3>\nSatan and demons are never forgiven for anything and never forgive anyone for anything. God travels on the path of forgiveness, Satan and demons travel on the path of unforgiveness.<\/p>\n
To refuse to forgive is to open oneself to the realm of the demonic.\u00a0This connection explains why the Bible often speaks of the demonic in the same places that it speaks of forgiveness and unforgiveness. Colossians 2:13-15 says that through Jesus\u2019 cross God has \u201cforgiven us all our trespasses\u201d and \u201cdisarmed the rulers and authorities\u201d. \u00a02 Corinthians 2:10-11 says, \u201cAnyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.\u201d Ephesians 4: 27-32 says, \u201cgive no opportunity to the devil\u201d and. \u201cLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d Lastly, James 3:14-17 says, \u201c\u2026if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.\u201d<\/p>\n
Those who are forgiven by God but refuse to be forgiving of others end up in a prison of demonic torment. Jesus tells this very story in Matthew 18. His point is that when we allow our hurt to turn into hate, we find ourselves trapped in a bitter prison of torment. It\u2019s the same thing Acts 8:23 speaks of as, \u201c\u2026the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity.\u201d<\/p>\n
The question is, \u201cWho has the key to get us out?\u201d Does the other person have the key of repenting after agreeing with us and apologizing to us? If so, they hold all the power over our life and future and we must beg and beat them to repent so we can exit our cell. Or, do we hold the key to our deliverance in our own hand and place it in the lock through forgiveness?<\/p>\n
If you are bitter, you are in anguish, haunted by demonic torment and living in a jail cell of misery believing a lie that anyone other than you holds the key to set you free. Because God loves you, you need you to forgive them as God has forgiven you. In so doing you are simply passing their case on to God\u2019s higher court and giving up the constant attempt to convene a jury (even online via social media or a revenge obituary), sit on a bench, try the entire case, and bang your gavel with your verdict for their punishment. Leave the eternal judgment and sentencing to Jesus, forgive them, put the key in the lock, open the cell, and walk in the Spirit away from the demonic.
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5. When you forgive, you show the world your real beliefs.<\/h3>\nThe world is watching, and our true view of God is revealed by how we respond when we\u2019re wronged. Acts 7 shows an angry mob led by Saul\u2014later renamed Paul\u2014as they stone the early church leader Stephen. As Jesus rose from his throne in heaven to give Stephen a standing ovation, Stephen fell to his knees and\u00a0cried aloud, \u201cLord, don\u2019t hold this sin against them!\u201d (Acts 7:60). When Stephen forgave his murderers, others saw the power of God\u2019s forgiveness. Paul would later become a great messenger of the forgiveness he witnessed in Stephen that day.<\/p>\n
When we leak and vent our complaints and grievances, we forget that the world is watching. We lose the opportunity to put the gospel of forgiveness into practice, which is the exact thing that our world desperately needs to see so that people can become healthy and live better lives forgiven and forgiving. Is there anyone that you need to take some time between you and God to forgive today and not waste another day living in bitterness?<\/p>\n
(1)http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/w-minnesota-woman-s-obit-takes-dark-turn-over-long-ago-extra-marital-affair\/484588991\/<\/a><\/p>\n