{"id":4592,"date":"2012-09-14T01:20:48","date_gmt":"2012-09-14T06:20:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markdroberts\/?p=4592"},"modified":"2015-03-13T15:31:53","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T20:31:53","slug":"existential-questions-on-stuffed-napkin-dispensers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markdroberts\/2012\/09\/14\/existential-questions-on-stuffed-napkin-dispensers\/","title":{"rendered":"Existential Questions: On Stuffed Napkin Dispensers"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><figure id=\"attachment_4593\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4593\" style=\"width: 288px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/44\/2012\/09\/napkin-dispenser-5.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-4593  \" style=\"margin: 5px 20px\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/44\/2012\/09\/napkin-dispenser-5.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"288\" height=\"383\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-4593\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo credit to http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/frenkieb\/15335598\/<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p><p>Okay, so I\u2019m in my local coffee place and I need a napkin. I find the dispenser and reach for a single napkin. But the napkin doesn\u2019t budge because the dispenser is jammed with napkins. When I pull a little harder, my napkin tears and I end up with a quarter-sized piece of useless paper. So I spend a few second trying to get the rest of the napkin out, but to no avail. Finally, in frustration, I jam my fingers in the dispenser slot and pull out about twenty napkins. I take one for myself and leave the rest perched on the dispenser.<\/p>\n<p>How many times has this happened to me? A dozen? A hundred? No, probably several hundred, at least. It seems like there\u2019s a secret rule in establishments that use napkin dispensers. It goes something like this: When you are refilling the napkin dispenser, be sure to jam it so full of napkins that it\u2019s impossible to for a customer to take only one, intact napkin.<\/p>\n<p>Why? Why, oh why is this the unwritten, universally honored rule of napkin dispensers? Can somebody please answer this existential question for me?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Okay, so I\u2019m in my local coffee place and I need a napkin. I find the dispenser and reach for a single napkin. But the napkin doesn\u2019t budge because the dispenser is jammed with napkins. When I pull a little harder, my napkin tears and I end up with a quarter-sized piece of useless paper. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":109,"featured_media":4593,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17064],"tags":[17065,17067,17066],"class_list":["post-4592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-existential-questions","tag-existential-question","tag-napkin-dispenser","tag-napkins"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Existential Questions: On Stuffed Napkin Dispensers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Okay, so I&#039;m in my local coffee place and I need a napkin. I find the dispenser and reach for a single napkin. But the napkin doesn&#039;t budge because the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markdroberts\/2012\/09\/14\/existential-questions-on-stuffed-napkin-dispensers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Existential Questions: On Stuffed Napkin Dispensers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Okay, so I&#039;m in my local coffee place and I need a napkin. I find the dispenser and reach for a single napkin. But the napkin doesn&#039;t budge because the\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markdroberts\/2012\/09\/14\/existential-questions-on-stuffed-napkin-dispensers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mark D. 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