{"id":100998,"date":"2017-08-22T16:22:37","date_gmt":"2017-08-22T23:22:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=100998"},"modified":"2017-08-22T16:22:37","modified_gmt":"2017-08-22T23:22:37","slug":"our-lady-is-so-gentle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2017\/08\/our-lady-is-so-gentle.html","title":{"rendered":"Our Lady is So Gentle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

So today I went to Mass. \u00a0I\u2019ve been out of sorts lately, feeling not very happy with myself and grumpy over all the Charlottesville racists, President Racist, and Good White Christian racist defenders. \u00a0I hate all this filth, but I also hate it when I get stuck on it. \u00a0My conscience tells me, \u201cIf you clam up now, you are a gutless coward.\u201d \u00a0But it also says, \u201cYou catch more flies with honey and the anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God\u201d (thanks St. James).<\/p>\n

So I waffle back and forth. \u00a0I find the Good White Christian excuse-making for all this utterly nauseating but\u00a0my inner Platonist keeps insisting that if I just talking long enough and clearly enough then I can persuade people to just stop being fallen and afflicted with original sin. \u00a0And boy howdy, there is nothing like the thought \u201cAt least I\u2019m not so deaf, dumb, and blind as Nazi defenders\u201d to swell the head. \u00a0It\u2019s easy to forget \u201cI\u2019m not pro-Nazi\u201d is not the reason one is justified before God. \u00a0There\u2019s no danger more potent to the soul than the peril of being obviously right in a moral contest between obvious good and obvious evil.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019ve been thinking about Paul. \u00a0In one of his frequent argument with his flock who are ringing the changes on \u201cWho do you think you are? \u00a0You aren\u2019t even a real apostle!\u201d Paul says:<\/p>\n

This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. I do not even judge myself. \u00a0I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. \u00a0Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then every man will receive his commendation from God.<\/p>\n

I have applied all this to myself and Apollos for your benefit, brethren, that you may learn by us not to go beyond what is written, that none of you may be puffed up in favor of one against another. For who sees anything different in you? What have you that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if it were not a gift? (1 Co 4:1\u20137).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I like that. \u00a0Paul doesn\u2019t fall into the trap of thinking his value comes from being right. \u00a0He leaves all that in God\u2019s hands and remembers that none of us are right because we all killed Jesus including, especially, him. \u00a0I\u2019m not right either. \u00a0I killed Jesus. \u00a0Big whoop that I despise Nazis. \u00a0Despising is easy and I have a talent for it.<\/p>\n

Which brings me back to Mass today. \u00a0It the Feast of the Queenship of Mary, when remember the honor poured out on this little country girl nobody ever heard of when she was on earth. \u00a0She said \u201cyes\u201d to God while everybody was jockeying for power and she kept saying it all the while they took the one precious thing she loved most in this world, the\u00a0little boy God had given her, horsewhipped him, spat on him, and spiked him up naked to laugh at him till he gasped out his dying breath. \u00a0She\u2019s every terrified refugee, every kid ever beaten black and blue by a bully, every brave and powerless lover of the good who has ever gotten up off the mat, hitched up her belt and soldiered on. \u00a0Of *course* she has all the honors of heaven poured out on her when she finally arrives Home at the end of her life. \u00a0If anybody ever deserved to hear, \u201cWell done, good and faithful!\u201d from God, it was her.<\/p>\n

And that brought my attention back to something I had clean forgotten: the Holy Spirit\u2019s call on me to honor people.<\/a><\/p>\n

Yeah. \u00a0It\u2019d just forgotten it. \u00a0Too busy and distracted and fallen and darkened in the intellect till the Holy Spirit and our Lady so gently reminded me. \u00a0People sometime joke that God hits us in the head with 2x4s. \u00a0It\u2019s not true in my experience. \u00a0Usually, my sins are shown me with gentleness. \u00a0It\u2019s much the most effective way. \u00a0You don\u2019t get defensive that way. \u00a0You say,\u201dOh. OHHHHHHH! I am so sorry! \u00a0Ugh! \u00a0How could I have forgotten?\u201d<\/p>\n

So I went to confession. Again. \u00a0And I\u2019m trying to start over. \u00a0Again.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m thinking about something the priest said that had never ever occurred to me: Mary had plenty of reasons to be bitter. \u00a0Indeed, her name *means* \u201cbitter\u201d. \u00a0But she wasn\u2019t. \u00a0Freedom from sin is, among other things, freedom from bitterness. \u00a0She saw (and continued to see all her life) hatred poured out at her Son and at herself. \u00a0A charge of illegitimacy against Jesus was, after all, a charge of fornication against her. \u00a0She saw the same murderous hate that killed him kill his disciples too. \u00a0I\u2019ve never had to put up with anything like what she endured. \u00a0And yet she gave honor to people and saw even her enemies with love and respect.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m back again to say \u201cPlease forgive me\u201d to any readers who feel I have not honored them. \u00a0I will doubtless fail you again but, in the meantime, \u201cWe fall down and we get up.\u201d<\/p>\n

One word in particular to fellow Patheosi Dave Armstrong. \u00a0I am genuinely unclear why since I have neither read nor interacted with him in months, but for the past week or so in my FB feed, I have seen multiple comments from both he and his readers suggesting that something I have said has angered them. \u00a0I don\u2019t understand what prompted that, particularly since I was on vacation for most of last week, but whatever it is, please forgive me.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s anything else from anybody else I likewise ask pardon.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So today I went to Mass. \u00a0I\u2019ve been out of sorts lately, feeling not very happy with myself and grumpy over all the Charlottesville racists, President Racist, and Good White Christian racist defenders. \u00a0I hate all this filth, but I also hate it when I get stuck on it. \u00a0My conscience tells me, \u201cIf you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[190],"class_list":["post-100998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-mea-culpa"],"yoast_head":"\nOur Lady is So Gentle<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So today I went to Mass. \u00a0I've been out of sorts lately, feeling not very happy with myself and grumpy over all the Charlottesville racists, President\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, 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