{"id":101770,"date":"2018-01-04T00:30:56","date_gmt":"2018-01-04T07:30:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=101770"},"modified":"2018-01-03T20:37:54","modified_gmt":"2018-01-04T03:37:54","slug":"so-this-is-hilarious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2018\/01\/so-this-is-hilarious.html","title":{"rendered":"So this is hilarious"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Liesite News, in its ongoing quest to make Sean Hannity look like a paragon of rock-ribbed journalistic integrity by comparison, outdoes itself in sheer Francis-hating hysteria with a story titled \u201c\u2018Eerie and ominous\u2019 sign appears as Pope Francis visits Vatican Nativity<\/a>\u201c.<\/p>\n

What horror was revealed from celestial realms to assure us all that Liesite Rulz and Francis Droolz today and God sez so so shaddup? <\/p>\n

A bunch of seagulls flew away when Francis and a gaggle of pilgrims went to the Vatican Nativity scene to pay their respects.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/p>\n

I know, right? It\u2019s like the freaking Nile turning to blood<\/em>! Seeing as how it\u2019s just so totally unlike seagulls to fly away when a huge crowd of\u00a0people disturb them, it is clear this is an event only explicable by appeals to God\u2019s ongoing wrath at Francis.\u00a0Plus, right now, the Almighty is deeply torqued at this week\u2019s Panic du Jour, the naked guy in the \u201cClothe the Naked\u201d works of mercy display.\u00a0 Liesite doesn\u2019t hold with works of mercy mucking up Christmas\u2013Because Reasons.\u00a0 And also, Naked Figures on the very grounds of the Vatican?\u00a0 Eek!<\/p>\n

\"the-creation-of-adam\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At any rate, according to Liesite:<\/p>\n

At exactly the same time as the Pope left St. Peter\u2019s Basilica and walked to the cr\u00e8che in St. Peter\u2019s Square, a squabble of about 500 seagulls suddenly flew up from behind the basilica and circled around the cr\u00e8che.<\/p>\n

They swarmed above the nativity scene, squawking and squealing for about the exact time it took for the Pope to walk from the basilica to the cr\u00e8che. They then disappeared into a night sky lit up by an almost full moon.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Liesite was properly aghast at this absolutely pedestrian sign of divine distaste for the pope they hate.\u00a0 Later in the article, they also helpfully revealed their distaste and loathing for the poor of Rome too:<\/p>\n

In the adjoining piazza and around the colonnade, passers-by have been shocked at the degradation and squalor that emerges there at night. The seagulls descend on the headquarters of the Church and pick at rubbish bins, leaving debris\u00a0strewn across the sidewalks and roads.<\/p>\n

The homeless are allowed to bed down under main thoroughfares and archways, on the outskirts of the colonnade and in front of the Holy See press office.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Imagine.\u00a0 The poor?\u00a0 Allowed to sleep? What kind of Church doesn\u2019t even punish people for having no home?\u00a0 Liesite gives the Comsymplib posing as \u201cpope\u201d what for:<\/p>\n

For all of the Pope\u2019s worthy outreach to the poor and the homeless, he hasn\u2019t lifted them up and off the streets, but instead created a culture of homelessness around the Vatican.<\/p>\n

Some have called the miserable scene \u201capocalyptic.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cSome\u201d. This is journalese for \u201cI\u201d. Also, nice touch with the \u201cworthy outreach to the poor and homeless\u201d bit.\u00a0 You know, \u201cBrutus is an honorable man\u201d makes it all the sweeter when you drive the shiv home.<\/p>\n

Funny.\u00a0 It\u2019s the people who say, \u201cThe poor you will have with you always\u201d whenever somebody proposes helping them who suddenly blame the Pope for not magically eradicating Rome\u2019s homeless problem\u2013all while not lifting a finger to help him and burning the candle at both ends to poison the Church against him.\u00a0 And Liesite is one of the most prominent organs of propaganda for hell on that score.<\/p>\n

But enough seriousness.\u00a0 The devil, the prowde spirit, cannot endure to be mocked.<\/p>\n

And man does Vickie Armstrong have fun doing that (here\u2019s just a taste,
\n but the whole thing is fun):<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve done some research on bird activity at the Vatican going back several years and have connected the dots.<\/p>\n

Pope Benedict XVI and the Peace Doves<\/b>
\nIn January, 2012 Pope Benedict released a peace dove from the a window of the Apostolic Palace at the Vatican. Begun by Pope St. John Paul II, the gesture has become a yearly custom of the Popes. The bird once released turned around and flew back in the window. Just over a year later Pope Benedict resigned and Pope Francis became our new pope. Surely, that bird was trying to tell us about the uncertain future that we would soon face under the pontificate of the new Pope and flew back into the window in abject terror. Never mind that birds are often confused when being released from windows. It is irrelevant, as well, that the same thing occurred to Pope John Paul II in 2005 and to Pope Benedict the previous year. It is only in hindsight that we can see that a bird doing what\u00a0 is natural for a bird to do was actually an omen. Which is why it went unnoticed at the time, merely an amusing mishap.<\/p>\n

Pope Benedict XVI and the Seagull<\/b>
\nThe following year, January 2013 Pope Benedict again released the customary peace dove from the window at the Vatican. This time the bird flew off only to be viciously attacked by a seagull. Again the story was reported as merely a kerfuffle. Again, in hindsight, we can see it for the sign that it was. Just weeks later Pope Benedict resigned from the papacy and Pope Francis became our new pope. Surely this seagull was telling us that there would be \u201cno peace for you\u201d during the coming pontificate. Never mind that you can see the seagull outside the window before the Pope releases the dove and it may have been unfortunate timing to release a dove right in front of a predator. Who would have thought that a seagull just might attack another bird that it has preyed upon and eaten in the past. Again, birds acting like birds went ignored. Not unlike the lone seagull that whacked Tippi Hedren in the head in the movie \u201cThe Birds\u201d a bird acting like a bird can portend a coming momentous and calamitous event.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This naturally puts me in mind of what, no doubt, we are all thinking about right now: I mean, of course, the new Oregon law allowing people to pump their own gas.<\/p>\n

Now I freely grant that normally Liesite\u2019s prophetic powers are impeccable.\u00a0 When, in their long campaign of malice and lies against the pope have they ever been wrong?\u00a0 But this time, I think a boo boo was made.\u00a0 Clearly, gulls of Rome rose up to warn the people of Oregon about this:<\/p>\n