{"id":103180,"date":"2018-04-10T00:15:25","date_gmt":"2018-04-10T07:15:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=103180"},"modified":"2018-04-09T19:54:25","modified_gmt":"2018-04-10T02:54:25","slug":"days-3-5-and-4-of-the-great-shea-western-journey-of-discovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2018\/04\/days-3-5-and-4-of-the-great-shea-western-journey-of-discovery.html","title":{"rendered":"Days 3.5 and 4 of the Great Shea Western Journey of Discovery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

So after I signed off last time, we headed off to Crater Lake, a trip of only 140 or so miles which Garmin prophesied would take us till 6:00 PM.\u00a0 I scoffed.\u00a0 Scoffed, I tell you.<\/p>\n

Never scoff at Garmin.<\/p>\n

To be sure, we traveled through gorgeous country, not to mention Gorge-ious country, full of mountainous crags and dizzying ravines plunging down to rushing rapids full of sharp, nasty rocks.\u00a0 It is a place out of Middle Earth.\u00a0 Breathtaking.\u00a0 And since we had no particular schedule to keep, we were content to ogle and goggle at it all.<\/p>\n

We reached Roseburg and found a McDonald\u2019s so I could access the wifi and post yesterday\u2019s doodlybop that I wrote but, tragically, Patheos would not permit it, so we decided to hit the road, after sundry pit stops.\u00a0 By then, I was hungry and since we were right there in a McDonald\u2019s parking lot, Jan asked if she could make me a sandwich from the cooler, which she kindly did. Money saved!<\/p>\n

As we were pulling out, a guy came up to me, looking bone weary and dirty, and told me he was a homeless vet.\u00a0 No idea if he was or not, but my philosophy is that it\u2019s better to be cheated of twenty bucks and get to heaven than save twenty bucks and find out in hell that you screwed Jesus out of what was rightly his.\u00a0 And if it was a con, the guy deserved an Oscar.<\/p>\n

So I offered the guy a Big Mac.<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cI\u2019m kind of grossed out on hamburgers.\u00a0 I was sort of hoping you could drop me off at the Sizzler a few blocks from here.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought, \u201cYou know, I bet that\u2019s true.\u201d\u00a0 One of things poor people have to put up with is not no<\/em> food, but crappy<\/em> food.\u00a0 And when they seek better food, there\u2019s always somebody there (usually a \u201cIf a man will not work he shall not eat\u201d Christianist who does not inquire as to whether the man can work) to tell them they are uppity scum for not wanting shitty food. How do I know?\u00a0 Because when I mentioned that he turned down a Big Mac and asked for a Sizzler, I could practically hear the cynical snorts about the Picky Beggar coming through the speakers of my computer from the Usual Suspects. I always think of Lewis\u2019 reply to Tolkien when he complained that the beggar to whom he had given some shillings would just spend it on drink: \u201cI<\/em> was just going to spend it on drink.\u201d So I was impressed with the guy for saying what he really wanted.\u00a0 Jesus tells us to do the same in prayer.<\/p>\n

We had no room in the van for anybody but us, so I give him Andrew Jackson\u2019s portrait and said I hoped that would cover something nice at Sizzler.\u00a0 It\u2019s criminal how we treat our vets.<\/p>\n

Then it was back on the road to Crater Lake, which is a surprisingly circuitous route way out east to Diamond Lake and then on beyond that to the south for far more miles than you would ever expect.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen the pictures of Crater Lake in the brochures, a beautiful blue under an azure sky, with Wizard Island set off center like a jewel in the eye of a giant staring at God.\u00a0 It is the most obviously cratery crater you could ask for.\u00a0 Unlike Mount Saint Helens, which blew sideways to the north (and taking with it poor David Johnston, a geologist who was standing 20 miles away as an explosion bigger than the largest above-ground nuclear test came straight for him), Mt. Mazama\u2019s blast went straight up and left behind it a perfect bowl, now covered with various evergreen species and snow.<\/p>\n

Snow?\u00a0 This was not in brochures.<\/p>\n

Permit me to digress.\u00a0 Long before we got to Diamond Lake, we noticed a curious redness on the road.\u00a0 No, it was not the blood of my or anybody\u2019s else\u2019s enemies.\u00a0 We speculated that it might be pollen from the endless forest that stretched away on both sides of the road into infinity.\u00a0 But that didn\u2019t seem right either.\u00a0 Jan, in her wisdom, said, \u201cIt could be sand for the snow\u201d being as how there were an increasing number of ominous \u201cPut on your chains\u201d signs.\u00a0 But since (at first) there was no snow to be seen I, who know all things, said, \u201cPish tosh, woman!\u00a0 What snow?\u201d<\/p>\n

So on I confidently went.<\/p>\n

Soon Jan said, \u201cLook!\u00a0 Snow!\u201d<\/p>\n

It was just little patches at first.\u00a0 A cloud no bigger than a man\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

Then she noticed something else: poles by the side of the road, perhaps twenty feet tall, with regular markings on them.\u00a0 As though to measure the depth of something.<\/p>\n

Caring nothing for such primitive local superstition, I, a smart city slicker, plunged on into the heart of the forest and well out of cell phone range, for my van was unsinkable!<\/p>\n

Okay, maybe I overstate things a bit.\u00a0 Jan and I were, in fact, both quite willing to turn round at any point if need be.\u00a0 But since the roads were bare and dry, we saw no reason to stop.\u00a0 So despite the mountain snowbanks on either side of the road (now up to the wheelwells, now to the window, now overtopping the car, we pressed on.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

At length, we saw a sign that said to turn to 1610 AM for information about the park conditions.\u00a0 It turned out the 30 mile scenic drive around the Rim was closed.\u00a0 But we could check in at the Visitor Center for information\u2014which closed at 4:00.\u00a0 It was approaching 7:00.\u00a0 But we decided to check it out anyway.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As you can see, the whole thing was barricaded by an impenetrable wall of snow 15-20 feet high. We took a few pictures to document the height, laughing the while at Poor Planning.<\/p>\n

About three miles further on, said the signs, was Rim Village. This sounded promising, so we made for that on the twisty road.\u00a0 But we figured, \u201cIn for a penny, in for a pound.\u201d When we got there, the snow was even higher now.\u00a0 And the place was equally deserted, except for six other hikers who were poking about on top of the snow bank and looking off into the distance.\u00a0 This suggested it would be a good idea to climb the bank, which we did forthwith.<\/p>\n

Wow.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The bank of snow, once you got to the top, sloped down to a rope that kept you from plunging to your death into the crater.\u00a0 The rim of the crater was some 30 miles in diameter and the whole epic scene was a stunning\u2014winter\u2014scene.\u00a0 We thought, \u201cThis was totally worth it even if we don\u2019t stay the night!\u201d\u00a0 You just stood there, breathing it in.\u00a0 The silence was profound.\u00a0 Just the wind and an occasional bird.\u00a0 We spotted a crag in the distance that we had seen miles back on the drive in and lost again.<\/p>\n

\"\"Somehow that felt familiar and orienting in the immense space that dwarfed us. Driving through the mountains of the west is a recurrently dwarfing experience.\u00a0 It is one of the many incredibles of the Faith that this mountain range, this planet, this galaxy, and this universe are, in the end, to our lives as ours are to the life of a gnat.\u00a0 But God has so ordered creation that, in this life, created immensities like Crater Lake serve to remind us that the sole reason our existence is eternal is grace and not because we tiny bits of protein are Teh Awesum.<\/p>\n

We clambered about on the snowfield for a while and saw the six other folk who were out and about on it.\u00a0 The snowfield ran right up the roofs of the Village chalets and had signs posted\"\" on it warning people not to climb the roofs.\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat kind of idiot would do that?\u201d\u00a0 Jan said, \u201cLots of idiots\u201d pointing to the many footprints that ran right up the chalet roofs.<\/p>\n

Fair point.<\/p>\n

Soon it was getting dark (we have a talent for squeezing daylight out of sightseeing) and we decided to get going.\u00a0 Technically, we could have camped there since we are sleeping in the car on our extremely comfy and warm air mattress.\u00a0 But there was something about being the only people in ownership of Crater Lake without another soul for miles that seemed lonesome and a bit risky.\u00a0 So we decided to head for warmer climes.<\/p>\n

Before we went, as good tiny bits of protein do, we decided to go, if you catch my meaning, if you get my drift.\u00a0 There were, as you can see, what appeared to be two outhouses:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u2026but when you entered, you discovered that they were, in fact, long hallways that penetrated the snowbank and led to actual restrooms connected to one of the big Village buildings.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

So that was an amusing surprise.<\/p>\n

After that, it was another struggle to negotiate with Queen Garmin.\u00a0 When we told her we were making for Crescent City, CA, she proceeded to route us back the way we came in a vast northern loop that would get us there at 9 AM the next morning.\u00a0 Apparently, she decided 101 was the only possible way sane people would want to go.<\/p>\n

We disagreed and so headed south for Medford instead of for the Arctic Circle, asking Garmin to show us gas stations along the way.\u00a0 Our car does okay for gas mileage and I think we could squeeze 400 miles out of a tank of gas if we had to.\u00a0 But we prefer not finding out just how far we can go before we run out of gas.<\/p>\n

All along the road from Roseburg toward Medford we kept seeing signs announcing \u201cRogue Umpqua\u201d.\u00a0 This was an inspiration to keep moving since my guess is that even a tame Umpqua is probably something too terrible to describe and meeting a Rogue Umpqua in the wilderness could only end in tears and blood.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I saw a sign for gas at a town called Prospect, Oregon so we pulled off the road there\u2014and drove straight into a scenario for a Wes Craven movie.<\/p>\n

Prospect, Oregon is, without question, the creepiest place I have ever been at night.\u00a0 Not just the gas station (complete with \u201cMISSING GIRL\u201d sign in the window) was closed.\u00a0 The whole town was closed.<\/p>\n

At 8:30 on a Wednesday night. We saw two kids on bikes (no doubt returning from burying the girl) and not a soul otherwise.\u00a0 There was a creepy lodge and some creepy houses and a creepy church.\u00a0 Jan said, \u201cThat would be consoling except that it just makes me wonder what god or gods they worship there.\u201d\u00a0 You pictured yourself in one of those movies where the weary travelers stop to ask Pastor Christopher Lee for directions and he says, with gracious continental manners, \u201cWelcome!\u00a0 You are just in time for the feast and are to be our special guests!\u201d<\/p>\n

You reply innocently, \u201cWe\u2019re invited?\u201d and he says, \u201cOh, you will be there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then you ask about the missing girl and he says thoughtfully, \u201cYes, yes.\u00a0 She was good.\u00a0 Very good.\u201d<\/p>\n

So Jan and I looked at each other and said, \u201cLet\u2019s get the hell out of here\u201d and made for the highway before they ate our brains or made us One of Them or did whatever terrible things they to do strangers in Prospect.\u00a0 I would rather face a Rogue Umpqua than a night in Prospect alone.<\/p>\n

At length, we came to Grants Pass by counter-intuitively catching I-5 north, which really went west.\u00a0 We pulled into the Appleby\u2019s parking lot just before 10 and I went in and asked the waitress if they had wifi.\u00a0 She said they did, so I walked out to the car to get Jan and the computer.\u00a0 We walked back to the door and it was locked! The close at 10.<\/p>\n

Grrr.<\/p>\n

So we went across the street to Shari\u2019s and had dinner and I posted the first tale of our adventures.<\/p>\n

Then we decided to head down I-5 to a rest area where, according to Seasoned Traveller Jan, they were legally obliged to let you sleep for 8 hours.\u00a0 That sounded great to me.<\/p>\n

In the morning, we awoke fresh as daisies.\u00a0 Jan made breakfast and I washed up the dishes, then poked about.\u00a0 There was a kiosk explaining that this was the Applegate Trail into southern Oregon where whites had come in the 1840s-50s and basically genocided the locals and put the remnant in concentration camps we call \u201creservations\u201d.\u00a0 Native Americans are the most screwed-over minorities in US history, which is saying something.\u00a0 I wonder if we will ever really do anything like the national mea culpa that countries like Germany have done for their crimes against humanity.\u00a0 Not while we are busy boasting about our Greatness, certainly.\u00a0 It\u2019s weird that we can, as a Catholic people living in the US, so easily go from \u201cthrough my fault, through my fault, through my own most grievous fault\u201d to chest-thumping nationalistic hubris and never see the disconnect.\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the most surprising things about the Old Testament that it stands utterly alone in ancient Near Eastern literature in recounting the massive failures of the nation with unsparing brutality (including the massive failures of even their greatest kings) instead of offering a sunny tale of fidelity to a grateful god.<\/p>\n

Anyway, we headed off for Redwoods National Park, near Crescent City, CA and crossed over the border (avoiding some slowly sauntering turkeys along the way) and got into Jedidiah Smith Park around noonish.\u00a0 By now it was raining and would continue to pour until Saturday morning everywhere in Northern California.\u00a0 Jan suggested that it was a lie that we brought the rain with us as Washingtonians.\u00a0 I agreed that Washington rules and California droolz.<\/p>\n

We decided to take the Howland Hills Road, which turned out to be a genuine unpaved stretch of 6.8 miles of mud and potholes.\u00a0 However, since you never attain a speed of over three miles an hour and the road is often one car width with colossal redwoods hugging either side, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 The point of driving the largest redwood forest on the planet is not to hurry up and get through it.<\/p>\n

About halfway through this road, our first disaster struck.\u00a0 Jan, as is her custom, got out to take pictures of the local plants with her newfangled camera that is made for people with Ph.Ds in Photography that we got from Amazon for her special Christmas present (the camera, not the people with Ph.Ds.\u00a0 They don\u2019t sell those on Amazon\u2013yet).\u00a0 It came without the 240 page (I am not making this up) instruction booklet for those with the leisure to do more with a camera than just snappin\u2019 pitchers.\u00a0 So when Jan accidently pressed the random whatzit button and\u2026<\/p>\n

(Excuse me, but as I write, we are currently leaving Yosemite on California 41 and are on a guardrail-free road with lovely stands of pines and tamarack on the hillside to our left and A LIMITLESS ABYSS OF CERTAIN DEATH PLUNGING STRAIGHT DOWN FOR 5000 FEET ON TO MERCILESS TEETH OF STONE LICKED BY THE ICY TONGUE OF THE MERCED RIVER DIRECTLY BENEATH MY PASSENGER WINDOW. I AM FOCUSING VERY HARD RIGHT NOW ON ENGLISH COMPOSITION AND ALL MY SAINTED PROFESSOR ROGER SALES TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEING A GOOD WRITER.\u00a0 PLEASE TELL MY CHILDREN I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH.)<\/p>\n

\u2026got some kind of \u201cDisplay\u201d thing on her screen that no mortal could remove.\u00a0 So we made for Crescent City with all deliberate speed and found the local library for Del Norte (or in Garminese \u201cDellnort\u201d) County. Jumped on the wifi and sent an SOS to my FB page (receiving largely weisenheimer replies) and also a little FB private message group of family and friends we occasionally check in with to give brief reports to.\u00a0 Son Luke, being both a Millennial and a tech geek who works with imaging software all day long as an animator, instantly diagnosed the trouble and fixed it before you could blink.<\/p>\n

Then, it was back out in the rain and due south, listening to James Taylor, for we are aging Boomers and shut up you dumb kids.\u00a0 Our next stop was the Trees of Mystery, for we are also the consummate hokey tourists and we love authentic roadside Americana such as zillion foot tall Paul Bunyan and his blue ox, Babe.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This is also Bigfoot country, so paid my respects.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

After that, it was getting late in the day and the rain was relentless, so we made our way to Elk Prairie and bedded down for the night, listening to the sound of rain on the car roof, warm, dry, and cozy with each other as our mutual hot water bottles through a pitch dark night.\u00a0 More later.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So after I signed off last time, we headed off to Crater Lake, a trip of only 140 or so miles which Garmin prophesied would take us till 6:00 PM.\u00a0 I scoffed.\u00a0 Scoffed, I tell you. Never scoff at Garmin. To be sure, we traveled through gorgeous country, not to mention Gorge-ious country, full of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[180],"class_list":["post-103180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-travels"],"yoast_head":"\nDays 3.5 and 4 of the Great Shea Western Journey of Discovery<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So after I signed off last time, we headed off to Crater Lake, a trip of only 140 or so miles which Garmin prophesied would take us till 6:00 PM.\u00a0 I\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2018\/04\/days-3-5-and-4-of-the-great-shea-western-journey-of-discovery.html\" 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