{"id":39590,"date":"2012-11-05T00:23:34","date_gmt":"2012-11-05T07:23:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=39590"},"modified":"2014-12-30T11:01:54","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T18:01:54","slug":"the-jerk-has-an-intriguing-proposal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/the-jerk-has-an-intriguing-proposal.html","title":{"rendered":"The Jerk Has an Intriguing Proposal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Reader \u201cThe Jerk<\/a>\u201d holds forth at various places around St. Blogs, bringing his own unique perspective to things. The other day, to my delight, he favored me with an email. I now share it with you in preparation for Election Day. He writes:<\/p>\n

Do you think it\u2019s OK if I sell my vote? I can\u2019t really bring myself to vote for either of the major party candidates, and I was planning to vote third party, (or maybe Joe Schriner\u2019s lower, like fifth party.)<\/p>\n

Anyway, the other day I figured, \u201cI\u2019m an American, damnit, so why not get something for this stupid vote?\u201d<\/p>\n

It would be OK in terms of not voting for either candidate in order to support grave intrinsic evil, right? By voting for Romney or Obama, I\u2019m not voting for the man, but the stuff I\u2019m getting in return. Me getting stuff is a good. So, I\u2019m actually doing a good thing with this scheme. Um, offer. No, no, it is a scheme.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure how this works Constitutionally speaking, but when you think about it, I\u2019m simply making myself a one man special interest group. I\u2019m like the AARP, except there\u2019s just one of me and I don\u2019t smell like pee and apple sauce.<\/p>\n

So, if you think it is OK to sell this vote, could you let people know? Keep in mind, I am registered to vote in an actual swing state.
\nMy vote could be the difference. Can either candidate afford to NOT buy my vote?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a price list for any of your reader\u2019s interested in doubling his or her vote:<\/p>\n

One case of scotch. (But we\u2019re talking at least Johnnie Walker Black.
\nCutty Sark is not a serious offer.)<\/p>\n

Cowboy boots, size 13.<\/p>\n

A Wii U with some games.<\/p>\n

A Macbook.<\/p>\n

One of the new Ruger 1911\u2019s. I will accept a 4th Generation Glock as a substitute. If you throw in a .38 detective special just like the one Sipowicz has in NYPD Blue, you can have my America Idol vote too.<\/p>\n

As you can see, I\u2019m not being greedy. Besides, I don\u2019t think any pope ever directly said that I personally could not sell my vote.<\/p>\n

Your pal,<\/p>\n

The Jerk<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I see absolutely no moral difficulties with this at all. As our Ruling Class on both sides of the aisle make clear in thought, word, and deed, the entire purpose of politics is to enrich oneself conscience and decency be damned, so why not get in on the game? And, as the Jerk astutely points out, if the Church does not specifically declare, pronounce and define on some specific point of morality (such as, say, issuing a formal definition that \u201cwaterboarding is torture\u201d) then that means we are totally free to say and do whatever disgusting thing we like and call it a \u201cprudential judgement\u201d, confident that \u201cprudential\u201d is Latin for \u201cfeel free to ignore the Church, common sense, and ordinary human decency in favor of whatever you feel like doing.\u201d Well done, Jerk! You\u2019ve pointed the way to new path to reinvigorating the economy! Why should the people we vote for be the *only* ones who get to sell their conscience, their country and their souls to the highest bidder? Why not We the People too? After all, as I am assured, it is prissy narcissism to think about the impact that voting has on the soul of the voter. The only thing that matters is winning! So why not win and turn a handsome profit at the same time?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reader \u201cThe Jerk\u201d holds forth at various places around St. Blogs, bringing his own unique perspective to things. The other day, to my delight, he favored me with an email. I now share it with you in preparation for Election Day. He writes: Do you think it\u2019s OK if I sell my vote? I can\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[8],"class_list":["post-39590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-mailbag"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Jerk Has an Intriguing Proposal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Reader "The Jerk" holds forth at various places around St. Blogs, bringing his own unique perspective to things. 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