{"id":40233,"date":"2012-11-29T12:42:57","date_gmt":"2012-11-29T19:42:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=40233"},"modified":"2014-12-30T11:01:22","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T18:01:22","slug":"simcha-fisher-kills-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html","title":{"rendered":"Simcha Fisher kills me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Over on Facebook, Simcha writes:<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or every other day.\u00a0 Is this just a coincidence, or are we getting, like, too much electricity?\u00a0 Or something?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So I very helpfully respond:<\/p>\n
This is caused by one of your children approaching adolescence and beginning to manifest psychokinetic powers which must be controlled before she turns into Carrie and destroys you all. Here\u2019s what you need:<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>She responds:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>We got my daughter this shirt for her birthday:\u00a0 <a id=\".reactRoot[1].[1][2][1]{comment10151167695002029_24627775}..[1]..[1]..[0].[0][2]..[1]\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/evilgeniustees.260419581\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/evilgeniustees.260419581<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div id=\".reactRoot[1].[1][2][1]{comment10151167695002029_24627775}..[1]..[1]..[0].[3]\">\n<div data-ft='{\"type\":10,\"tn\":\"H\"}'>\n<div>\n<blockquote><p><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div>\n<div>\n<blockquote>\n<div data-ft='{\"type\":11,\"tn\":\"C\"}'><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/evilgeniustees.260419581\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">Fools! I\u2019ll destroy you all. Dark T-Shirt> Fools!\u00a0 I\u2019ll destroy you all!> Evil Genius Tees<\/a><\/strong><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">www.cafepress.com<\/a><\/p>\n<div data-ft='{\"tn\":\"M\"}'>Fools! I\u2019ll destroy you all. Dark T-Shirt<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div data-ft='{\"tn\":\"M\"}'>I\u00a0hope that kid appreciates what a fantastic mom and dad she has.<\/div>\n<div data-ft='{\"tn\":\"M\"}'><\/div>\n<div data-ft='{\"tn\":\"M\"}'>Also, I gotta get me one of them T shirts!\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019ll wow \u2019em at the Dark Lord Convention in Columbus next year.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don\u2019t laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or every other day.\u00a0 Is this just a coincidence, or are we getting, like, too much electricity?\u00a0 Or something? So I very helpfully respond: This is caused by one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3],"class_list":["post-40233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n<title>Simcha Fisher kills me<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don't laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Simcha Fisher kills me\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don't laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Catholic and Enjoying It!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-11-29T19:42:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-12-30T18:01:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net\/safe_image.php?d=AQCB4R3L_sUbGDir&w=90&h=90&url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F260419581%2Ffools_ill_destroy_you_all_tshirt.jpg%3Fcolor%3DBlack%26height%3D240%26width%3D240\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mark Shea\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mark Shea\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html\",\"name\":\"Simcha Fisher kills me\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-11-29T19:42:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-12-30T18:01:22+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#\/schema\/person\/c1a9ac1e557d3c626974fd6692818ad5\"},\"description\":\"Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don't laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Simcha Fisher kills me\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/\",\"name\":\"Catholic and Enjoying It!\",\"description\":\"Mark Shea's Blog: So That No Thought of Mine, No Matter How Stupid, Should Ever Go Unpublished Again!\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#\/schema\/person\/c1a9ac1e557d3c626974fd6692818ad5\",\"name\":\"Mark Shea\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f287911f45adc932ad24ddbae3597ed5?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f287911f45adc932ad24ddbae3597ed5?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Mark Shea\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/author\/markshea\"}]}<\/script>\n","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Simcha Fisher kills me","description":"Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don't laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Simcha Fisher kills me","og_description":"Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don't laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html","og_site_name":"Catholic and Enjoying It!","article_published_time":"2012-11-29T19:42:57+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-12-30T18:01:22+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net\/safe_image.php?d=AQCB4R3L_sUbGDir&w=90&h=90&url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F260419581%2Ffools_ill_destroy_you_all_tshirt.jpg%3Fcolor%3DBlack%26height%3D240%26width%3D240"}],"author":"Mark Shea","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Mark Shea","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html","name":"Simcha Fisher kills me","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-11-29T19:42:57+00:00","dateModified":"2014-12-30T18:01:22+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#\/schema\/person\/c1a9ac1e557d3c626974fd6692818ad5"},"description":"Over on Facebook, Simcha writes: Don't laugh, this is a serious question.\u00a0 Our lightbulbs are suddenly blowing at a very high rate- like one a day or","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2012\/11\/simcha-fisher-kills-me.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Simcha Fisher kills me"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/","name":"Catholic and Enjoying It!","description":"Mark Shea's Blog: So That No Thought of Mine, No Matter How Stupid, Should Ever Go Unpublished Again!","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#\/schema\/person\/c1a9ac1e557d3c626974fd6692818ad5","name":"Mark Shea","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f287911f45adc932ad24ddbae3597ed5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f287911f45adc932ad24ddbae3597ed5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Mark Shea"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/author\/markshea"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/92"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40233"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40233\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}