{"id":43145,"date":"2013-03-21T10:33:34","date_gmt":"2013-03-21T17:33:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=43145"},"modified":"2014-12-30T00:31:07","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T07:31:07","slug":"simcha-fisher-is-magnificent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2013\/03\/simcha-fisher-is-magnificent.html","title":{"rendered":"Simcha Fisher is Magnificent"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

So, over at National Review<\/em>, rich jailbird neocon<\/s> [\u201csalvation-through-consumerist-hedonism heretic\u201d inserted here since the exquisite sensitivities of some readers require it] Conrad Black is busy telling the Pope to get on board with the rich neocon<\/s> heretic view that babies are a nuisance and the Church should get over that whole thing with the Pill<\/a>\u00a0so as to be better positioned to support the contracepting and child-murdering West should it launch more wars on the Islamosphere.\u00a0 The man is, like all neocon<\/s> salvation-through-consumerist-hedonism heretics, full of himself and his utopian certainty that he knows what\u2019s best for the Church and everybody else.\u00a0 All to be expected from the End to Evil crowd who have been selectively reading the Church\u2019s teaching ever since Garry \u201cWhy Priests?: A Failed Tradition<\/em>\u201d Wills said \u201cMater, Si! Magistra, No!\u201d and kicked off the pretense of the \u201cFaithful Conservative Dissenter\u201d that immediately bore fruit in the birth of the \u201cFaithful Progressive Dissenter\u201d such as, oh, Garry Wills.<\/p>\n

So: rich neocon<\/s> salvation-through-militaristic-consumerist-hedonism heretic subverts Church.\u00a0 Dog bites man.\u00a0 Nothing new.\u00a0 But here\u2019s the thing: this particular rich neocon<\/s> salvation-through-consumerist-hedonism heretic is supposed to be a publisher.\u00a0 You know, somebody who uses language for a living.\u00a0 Somebody who is supposed to be able to write.\u00a0 And yet, in his struggle to Keep the Faith and Change the Church[TM] the guy commits this paragraph\u2013and the editors at NRO let him get away with it:<\/p>\n

The sex-abuse crisis has been a horrible and shaming problem, but Catholicism\u2019s enemies have amplified and exploited it to incite the inference that most of the Roman clergy are deviates compounding superstition with perversion. The most frequent and wishful version of these events is as a mighty coruscation before the great Christian scam expires in a Wagnerian inferno, an inadvertent Waco. It took the most antagonistic pundits, in their uncomprehending skepticism of the viability of what they regard as a medieval flimflam factory anyway, only one day to assimilate the election of a man none of them had mentioned, in their omniscience, as a contender, before pronouncing his papacy dead on arrival at the Sistine Chapel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And all the people cried, \u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 Seriously, could anybody follow that?\u00a0 Simcha Fisher responds with deadly comedic force<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Coruscation?\u00a0 Uncomprehending skepticism of the viability of what they regard as a medieval flimflam factory?\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry, has someone checked in on this guy lately?\u00a0 I think he\u2019s having a stroke.<\/p>\n

If anybody has the strength to wade through both pages of this masturbatory mess, please let me know what it\u2019s about.\u00a0 Furthermore, circumstantial evidentiary horticulture would presume,\u00a0 one would cogitate, an obstreperous de-regimentation of, if you will, unregurgitated foofaraw, if you know what I mean.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

On the bright side, apart from people who already agree with the rich, illiterate, neocon<\/s> salvation-through-consumerist-hedonism heretic I can\u2019t see anybody being persuaded by this piece\u00a0since I can\u2019t see anybody being able to understand this pretentious syntactic linguini.\u00a0 He makes George Bush sound like Shakespeare.<\/p>\n

Seriously, even the single most coherent sentence in the piece is an incoherent mess: \u201cI do not underestimate, and am not qualified to discuss, the theological arguments involved.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dude: You obviously do<\/em> underestimate the theological arguments involved or you would not have written this sloppy mess.\u00a0 And you yourself acknowledge that when you say you are not qualified to discuss those arguments.\u00a0 Since the Church\u2019s entire argument on this matter is theological, you have just acknowledged that you are not qualified to write this stupid, stupid piece.\u00a0 Or rather, you are only qualified to write this stupid, stupid piece.\u00a0 You are not qualified to actually instruct the Church on what she should be teaching.<\/p>\n

Update: NRO publishes this rebuttal by KLo.<\/a>\u00a0 Bully for them.\u00a0 They remain a journal where orthodoxy is optional.\u00a0 But as Fr. Richard John Neuhaus was fond of pointing out, \u201cWhere orthodoxy is optional, orthodoxy will sooner or later be proscribed.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, over at National Review, rich jailbird neocon [\u201csalvation-through-consumerist-hedonism heretic\u201d inserted here since the exquisite sensitivities of some readers require it] Conrad Black is busy telling the Pope to get on board with the rich neocon heretic view that babies are a nuisance and the Church should get over that whole thing with the Pill\u00a0so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[7,3],"class_list":["post-43145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doings-on-other-blogs","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nSimcha Fisher is Magnificent<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So, over at National Review, rich jailbird neocon Conrad Black is busy telling the Pope to get on board with the rich neocon heretic view that babies are\" \/>\n<meta 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