{"id":50486,"date":"2014-02-07T00:07:15","date_gmt":"2014-02-07T07:07:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=50486"},"modified":"2014-12-29T16:56:57","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T23:56:57","slug":"this-is-awesome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2014\/02\/this-is-awesome.html","title":{"rendered":"This is Awesome"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

The Emergent Church is a super-rarified form of post-Evangelical Protestantism that basically is in reaction to everything the generation of James Dobson and Billy Graham thought important.\u00a0 As such, it has developed it\u2019s own unique vocabulary that no normal person outside the Bubble would ever use and has succeeded in making itself yet another even more out-of-touch species of Christianity.\u00a0 Somebody has finally lampooned this in a hilarious re-telling of Emergent Church Jesus meeting the Woman at the Well:<\/p>\n

Exhausted from global warming in oppressed Palestine, Jesus chilled at Jacob\u2019s Well in the realm of \u201cthe other\u201d called Samaria. Jesus\u2019 cohort left him to buy organic at the nearest fair-trade kiosk. A Samaritan woman, \u201cthe other,\u201d approached the community\u2019s gathering space, carrying a jar, the symbol of her status in a harsh, patriarchal culture.<\/p>\n

Jesus said to her, \u201cWater is good. Water is to be shared. Water is life. May we share in a drink of water together?\u201d He lit two candles, too, symbolizing the two flames of life at the well. The woman replied, \u201cI am in the oppressed class\u2013a Samaritan\u2013and you are in the religiously oppressive class\u2013 the Jew. I am victim; you are power. How is it that you encounter me in such a counterintuitive egalitarian<\/em>way<\/em> in a world of power-assigned values?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jesus mildly pushed back, \u201cWoman, I am post-Jewish. I am post-Second Temple Judaism. I am the Revolution as I assign new symbolic value to people, places and religion itself. I am on a journey through liminal space into the emerging reality where all is love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFriend and soul-mate, how can this be, this new paradigm of meaning?\u201d the woman asked<\/p>\n

Jesus continued in soft-toned dialogue with the woman, \u201cI don\u2019t know. No one knows. We see through a glass darkly. We are now simply deconstructing the old and hoping<\/em> to see the new emerge. No one can step up and lead, of course.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Read the whole thing here<\/a>.\u00a0 Truly inspired.*<\/p>\n

*Note: Not\u00a0truly<\/em> inspired.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Emergent Church is a super-rarified form of post-Evangelical Protestantism that basically is in reaction to everything the generation of James Dobson and Billy Graham thought important.\u00a0 As such, it has developed it\u2019s own unique vocabulary that no normal person outside the Bubble would ever use and has succeeded in making itself yet another even […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3],"class_list":["post-50486","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nThis is Awesome<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Emergent Church is a super-rarified form of post-Evangelical Protestantism that basically is in reaction to everything the generation of James Dobson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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