One of them writes:<\/p>\n
WASHINGTON (PEANUT) \u2014 Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano issued a non-apology apology to veterans after a report issued by her department said wild-eyed killers returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were at risk for being recruited by right-wing Xian extremists.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo the extent veterans read it as an accusation \u2026 an apology is owed,\u201d she said during an on-air interview on FOX News Thursday, a day after veterans\u2019 groups and members of Congress blasted her for the report, which they said libeled members of the people\u2019s armed forces.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis was an assessment of what those androcentric knuckle-draggers are capable of, not an accusation,\u201d Napolitano continued. \u201cIt was limited to extremists \u2014 those who seek to commit violence within the United States, and those who can at a moment\u2019s notice help commit that violence. And all this was meant to do was to give law enforcement what we newcomers to the intelligence trade like to call \u201c\u2018Guy Fawkes\u2019 awareness\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe last thing I want to do is offend or castigate all Xians or veterans. To the contrary, some of my best friends are Xians and veterans. So let\u2019s meet and make a list of names,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
A footnote in the report, \u201cDeath to All Wreckers of Our Glorious Long March Forward: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment,\u201d said that while there is no proof whatsoever that right-wing terrorists are planning acts of violence, such acts are imminent and would likely come from \u201crightwing extremists\u201d who harbor opinions contrary to those held by President Barack Obama. The report also singled out crazed, bloodthirsty returning war veterans as likely recruits.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there\u2019s one part of this report that I would classify . . . it would be that footnote,\u201d Napolitano said.<\/p>\n
Patriotic Legion National Commander Skurt Finbin, who blasted the report earlier this week as incomplete and politically-biased, said he was pleased with Napolitano\u2019s non-apology apology.<\/p>\n
\u201cI rejoice that our Maximum Leader has given our struggling heroic people the Department of Homeland Security and Janet Napolitano, who is, unless purged in future, a bulwark of the people\u2019s righeous struggle against all phobias,\u201d Finbin said in a statement released from an undisclosed location, \u201cI look forward to meeting with her next Friday and apologizing for my unwarranted and unpatriotic criticism of the nation\u2019s righteous struggle and heroic leaders.\u201d<\/p>\n
At least one veterans group, however, wasn\u2019t moved by Napolitano\u2019s mea culpa.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t an apology in my view,\u201d said Teel Hgysthd, chairman of Bloodthirsty Killers for Freedom. \u201cIt was one of those non-apology apologies. She was sorry that veterans were offended. She should either apologize for the content of the report as it stands or they should rewrite the report and reissue it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hgysthd, a crazed Army veteran who served in Iraq and has been suspected of sympathy with terrorist causes, said the report represents a \u201cgross misunderstanding and oversimplification\u201d of the country\u2019s service members. He did not call for Napolitano\u2019s ouster, but said he would accept her resignation.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf she . . . that\u2019d be . . . . . \u201d Hgysthd said. Contact for the telephone interview was lost and Peanut was unable to make contact for a follow up.<\/p>\n
Napolitano defended the report Wednesday, saying it is part of an ongoing series of assessments to provide information to state, local and tribal law enforcement agencies on Xian radicalization in the United States.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me be clear: We monitor the vipers\u2019 nests of violent Xians growing right here in the United States,\u201d Napolitano said in a statement. \u201cWe don\u2019t have the luxury of focusing our efforts on one group; we must protect the peoples\u2019 righteous struggle from all terrorism whether foreign or homegrown, and regardless of the ideology that motivates its violence.\u201d In a follow-up by reporters, Napolitano said, \u201cNo, let me be equally clear: We are not going to re-interview William Ayers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are on the lookout for Xian terrorist activity but we do not \u2013 nor will we ever \u2013 monitor political beliefs except those on abortion, immigration, gun control, the economy, and, uh, some other things,\u201d said Napolitano. \u201d We take seriously our responsibility to protect the civil rights and liberties of the righeous American people, including subjecting our activities to rigorous oversight from numerous internal and external sources, including the House Un-American Activities Committee.\u201d<\/p>\n
The report also states that DHS \u201cwill be working with its state and local partners \u2014 yes, right down to the police in your hometown \u2014 over the next several months to ascertain with greater specificity the rise in Xian extremist activity in the United States with a particular emphasis on the political, economic, and social factors that drive Xian extremist radicalization.\u201d Napolitano, through a spokesperson, declined to explain what \u201cspecificity actions\u201d might be taken.<\/p>\n
But depite hand-wringing by hysterical Xians, the recent unclassified DHS report verified itself by citing the case of Timothy McVeigh, an Xian and Gulf War veteran who owned guns and decried abortion. McVeigh was executed in 2001 after being convicted of killing 168 people during the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City fourteen years ago. DHS sources confirm that McVeigh acted on orders from his shadowy Xian overlords. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not a coincidence,\u201d said one DHS employee, \u201cthat McVeigh was given a martyrdom blessing by an Xian priest.\u201d Martyrdom blessings, known among the Xian faithful as \u201clast rites\u201d certify the recipient\u2019s entry into Heaven. A number of murderers and terrorists have been given this signal honor by the Roman Catholic Church, the world\u2019s largest Xian movement, whose Pope is considered to be an infallible leader. Roman Catholic Church adherents reside in the United States. Yes, right next door to you and your family.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe willingness of a small percentage of the people\u2019s army to join extremist groups during the 1990s because they were politically uneducated and crazed by fighting in an imperialist war, is being replicated today,\u201d the report reads. \u201cAnyone who is also politically uneducated is at risk for committing acts of violence.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c[McVeigh] was a vet, that\u2019s where he got his training and so when I was told about the report, it rang true with me, deep in my heart, that all this has happened before and all this will happen again.\u201d Napolitano told FOX News. \u201cThat is a far cry, however, from saying veterans somehow are at risk of doing what we know veterans are at risk of doing.\u201d<\/p>\n
The assessment is not the first Homeland Security product to examine threats based on anti-American extremism. In January, the department sent law enforcement officials an assessment of cyberterrorism threats from such left-leaning sources as environmental, animal rights and anarchist groups. The report indicated that anyone who dislikes government corporatism is a likely recruit for left-wing violence. It specifically mentioned communists, socialists, and adherents of \u201cdistributivism\u201d \u2014 a radical Xian economic philosophy that advocates cannibalism. \u201cAnyone who complains about our Great Leader\u2019s economic policies,\u201d the report concluded, \u201cis at risk for recruitment by these groups.\u201d<\/p>\n
Martin Neimoller, a policy counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union, said his organization was concerned about law enforcement agencies\u2019 focus on radicalization, regardless of the specific ideology. Neimoller said that the ACLU has no present plans to represent Xian cells accused of terrorist activity. \u201cWe\u2019re not going to speak out,\u201d he said, \u201cbecause we don\u2019t represent hate groups.\u201d<\/p>\n
Asked about the report at Wednesday\u2019s White House briefing, press secretary Hobart Bibbs said he has not spoken with President Obama specifically about it. <\/p>\n
\u201cWithout getting into the report, I think the Maximum Leader works hard every day to make sure that all Americans are safe and secure,\u201d Mr. Bibbs said. \u201cTake that man\u2019s name!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I would say that, as it relates to some aspect of the report, that our Maximum Leader believes those who serve our country represent the very best of it,\u201d Mr. Gibbs said. \u201cIndeed, we plan to rely on them to eventually rid us of the Xian scourge that has for so long blighted the land with phobias.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Yesterday, I stood outside the Planned Parenthood Clinic on E. Madison praying the Rosary with a couple of hundred other menaces to society. I tried to position myself right in front of the security cam so they could get a good look. Afterwards, a bunch of us went to the headquarters of the Army of Oppression <\/a>and had a lovely meal and a cheering talk from Fr. Frank Pavone, Captain of Evil. We all felt affirmed in our diabolical anti-Americanism. It was great!<\/p>\n
Best part: the reminder that Christ is King over all the earth and Caesar shall, sooner or later, bend the knee like everybody else. How un-American can you get? Fun!<\/p>\n