{"id":97179,"date":"2016-09-13T00:33:42","date_gmt":"2016-09-13T07:33:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=97179"},"modified":"2016-09-13T00:08:59","modified_gmt":"2016-09-13T07:08:59","slug":"carholics-anonymous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2016\/09\/carholics-anonymous.html","title":{"rendered":"Carholics Anonymous"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

So yesterday, out of the blue, an ardent Catholic reader of VDARE, an alt Right site,\u00a0brought\u00a0the love of Jesus to this wretched sinner by commenting on this photo on my FB\u00a0wall*:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not morbidly obese yet so you can turn things around. Just stop eating garbage in excess and move more. You\u2019re an embrassment to us other Carholics.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

He continued in that vein for some time, bringing in important comments\u00a0about my genitalia which I will spare you. \u00a0He did it for Jesus because he was, he informed me, super concerned about how my witness as a disgusting gluttonous fatso would affect his sons and the Faith he was working to instill in them.<\/p>\n

He then went on to this photo of my totes adorbs grand-daughter (Charlotte Rose, posted here out of sheer grandfatherly self-indulgence)\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

to add something to the effect that \u201cShe\u2019s screaming because her grandpa is such a big fatass.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now I hate to be an embrassment to Carholics. Believe me. \u00a0I\u2019ve been right on the edge of the Carholic abyss myself. \u00a0Once I was at this party and this hot chick handed me a car. Told me everybody was doing it. I was hesitant. She asked if I wanted to be a \u201csquare\u201d or fit in with the \u201ccool kids\u201d. I was \u201chep\u201d to her \u201cjive\u201d, \u201cDaddy-O\u201d. \u00a0So I tried a \u201chit\u201d off the exhaust pipe. It was psychedelic. But I thought of my mother, came to my senses, and got out of there before I became \u201chonked\u201d (as the kids say).<\/p>\n

Still and all, I appreciate my reader sharing his wisdom from his own background with addiction. Carholism is a serious health issue. I\u2019m glad he is getting the support he needs from other Carholics.<\/p>\n

But seriously folks, one of the curious things about super-Catholics is that they seem to *love* Fat Insults.\u00a0Now, I enjoy a good fat joke as much as anybody. \u00a0As a fat guy myself, I have always acknowledged the ordinary human wisdom of fellow fat guy G.K. Chesterton who said, \u201cTo be fat is to be laughed at, and that is a more wholesome experience for the soul of man.\u201d \u00a0Indeed, Chesterton came up with some pretty good fat jokes himself. \u00a0Confronted by a woman during WWI who demanded to know why he was not out at\u00a0the front, he replied, \u201cMadame, if you go round to my side, you will see that I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

Being laughed at for being fat is part of the human condition. \u00a0People have always done it and always will. \u00a0It would be a colder, darker world if we couldn\u2019t laugh at Falstaff, Oliver Hardy, or that One Thin Mint sketch by the Pythons.<\/p>\n

But at the same time, for heaven\u2019s sake, do it right<\/em>! \u00a0Don\u2019t be like that meathead\u00a0in Cyrano de Bergerac<\/em> who says, \u201cYour nose is rather large!\u201d <\/p>\n