{"id":99601,"date":"2017-03-24T00:32:25","date_gmt":"2017-03-24T07:32:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/?p=99601"},"modified":"2017-03-17T13:38:24","modified_gmt":"2017-03-17T20:38:24","slug":"jason-stellman-make-christianity-great","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/markshea\/2017\/03\/jason-stellman-make-christianity-great.html","title":{"rendered":"Jason Stellman is here to Make Christianity Great Again…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026in five easy steps<\/a>. \u00a0Step 2:<\/p>\n

Keep Heaven Safe<\/strong><\/p>\n

You know the old saying: \u201cWhen it comes to real estate, it\u2019s location, location, location.\u201d If that\u2019s true of earth, how much more true is it of heaven!<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s one factor that can drive down property values, it\u2019s when your neighborhood starts being moved into by certain, umm, unsavory<\/em> types. Keeping our living areas populated with the right kinds of people is indispensable for feeling safe while walking the streets, and it\u2019s no different when it comes to those heavenly streets of gold. So be a good neighbor and do your part to quell heavenly overpopulation by insisting on an ever-narrowing list of criteria for inhabiting God\u2019s inner circle. #satire<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Clearly he has internalized the sacred meme in defense of cruelty to alien, the orphan, and the widow that is the New Bible of Republichristians:<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026in five easy steps. \u00a0Step 2: Keep Heaven Safe You know the old saying: \u201cWhen it comes to real estate, it\u2019s location, location, location.\u201d If that\u2019s true of earth, how much more true is it of heaven! If there\u2019s one factor that can drive down property values, it\u2019s when your neighborhood starts being moved into […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3],"class_list":["post-99601","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nJason Stellman is here to Make Christianity Great Again...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"...in five easy steps. \u00a0Step 2: Keep Heaven Safe You know the old saying: \u201cWhen it comes to real estate, it\u2019s location, location, location.\u201d If that\u2019s\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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