{"id":3307,"date":"2014-12-29T02:15:39","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T02:15:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/merebreath\/?p=3307"},"modified":"2014-12-29T02:15:39","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T02:15:39","slug":"the-valley","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/merebreath\/2014\/12\/29\/the-valley\/","title":{"rendered":"The Valley"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I can\u2019t forget that day. We\u2019d just walked in the door coming home from church. We\u2019d had lunch out to celebrate Mother\u2019s Day and my first positive pregnancy test. I\u2019d had fish and chips. My heart was singing. \u00a0It was 2005. My husband sat me down, I was itching to call my best friend to tell her I was pregnant. She and I had been praying together about this for several months. She had just had her first baby, a little girl, in the preceding weeks. \u00a0\u201cThere was an accident,\u201d he said. \u201cStephanie and Tony were killed immediately. The baby died too.\u201d It took a minute for the words to reach my brain, and then they hit my heart like a brick wall. \u00a0\u201cNo! No! No!\u201d I screamed. I fell into my husband\u2019s arms for only a moment before the nausea overcame me. I ran into the bathroom, retching and choking through my sobs, gasping for air.<\/p>\n

I remember too well the eyes that run dry from crying so much, the deep, oppressive headaches, my stinging and swollen face. I remember feeling angry, and lonely and numb all over. I remember waking up in the middle of the night from a dream she\u2019d danced through and then crying some more. Driving past the place\u00a0where it happened, pictures from the scene of the accident flashing into my mind again.\u00a0Pictures would pop up at random places and my heart would suffocate all over again. I found her letter in between the pages of one of my books, whimsical swirly letters formed into words of joy and mischief. I can still hear her laughter. I still remember the very last thing I said to her, and I remember I had to hang up before we were done talking because I was making fried rice for dinner.<\/p>\n

Death is un-natural.<\/a> It isn\u2019t what is supposed to happen. We are made in the image of an eternal God. For years I wrestled with God in frustration, in agony, in despair and hopelessness. God didn\u2019t ignore me. He heard my cries and answered my questions<\/a>. He opened my eyes to His vast goodness, to His incomprehensible wisdom. I\u2019m not afraid of death anymore, but death still hurts, and it should. We ache and groan, as a woman in labor<\/a>, painfully waiting for the completion of the coming Glory. We long to hold our loved ones lost in our arms again. To feel the warmth of their bodies, to see the expressions on their faces. I long to meet Stephanie and Tony\u2019s baby girl, Zoe. My husband and I came up with her name, after all.<\/p>\n

Some friends lost their daughter in a car accident yesterday.<\/a> While I had only met her in passing and merely chatted casually with her mother, my heart aches for them. My heart aches for their friends. I remember what loss feels like.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

I\u2019ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>the taste of ashes, the poison I\u2019ve swallowed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I remember it all\u2014oh, how well I remember\u2014<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>the feeling of hitting the bottom.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But there\u2019s one other thing I remember,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

God<\/span>\u2019s loyal love couldn\u2019t have run out,<\/p>\n

his merciful love couldn\u2019t have dried up.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re created new every morning.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>How great your faithfulness!<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sticking with God<\/span> (I say it over and over).<\/p>\n

He\u2019s all I\u2019ve got left.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

-Lamentations 3:19-24<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

It is in these moments of darkness, when joy and hope seem so far away that we cry out to our God (we can\u2019t afford not to) and He answers. \u00a0He can heal our hearts and comfort our spirits, He listens to our prayers.<\/p>\n

\n

A hostile world! I call to God<\/span>,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>I cry to God to help me.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

From his palace he hears my call;<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>my cry brings me right into his presence\u2014<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>a private audience!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

-Psalm 18:6<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So I pray, clinging to the truth that God is good. Holding fast to the testament of His master craftmanship, the work He does with broken hearts is breathtaking, have you seen it, have you experienced it?<\/p>\n

He heals the heartbroken<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>and bandages their wounds.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He counts the stars<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>and assigns each a name.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Our Lord is great, with limitless strength;<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>we\u2019ll never comprehend what he knows and does.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

-Psalm 147:3-5<\/p>\n

If your heart is broken, you\u2019ll find God<\/span> right there;<\/span><\/p>\n

if you\u2019re kicked in the gut, he\u2019ll help you catch your breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

-Psalm 34:18<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

God\u2019s hand was on the accident. His hand was on my friend\u2019s accident. He holds the whole world in the palm of His hand. He whispers the breeze into being, He orchestrated the falling snow and the icy roads. He orchestrated the perfect timing that a drunk\u2019s truck ploughed into my dear friend\u2019s car. I don\u2019t understand why God does these things, but I trust Him. It is good to weep. To feel the loss. We are Christians \u2013 we know what darkness and suffering feel like and we know we can\u2019t get through it alone. But we do not weep as the lost do. We may not know how, but we know it is going to be ok, we are going to see this awful hurt through and come out victorious on the other side, strong and hopeful in Him. We know all will be made right in the end. We thank God for hearing our prayers, we praise Him through our tears, knowing He is here, He has not abandoned us. He loves us so very much.\u00a0We ask Him to be quick to comfort the spirits of His people. We ask Him to surround our hearts in the peace that only comes from Him.\u00a0We will take heart, we will have courage as we continue to look for the resurrection of our dead,\u00a0and the life of the world to come.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

God<\/span>, my shepherd!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>I don\u2019t need a thing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You have bedded me down in lush meadows,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>you find me quiet pools to drink from.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

True to your word,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>you let me catch my breath<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>and send me in the right direction.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Even when the way goes through<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Death Valley,\u00a0<\/span>I\u2019m not afraid,<\/p>\n

when you walk at my side.<\/p>\n

Your trusty shepherd\u2019s crook<\/span><\/p>\n

makes me feel secure.<\/span><\/p>\n

You serve me a six-course dinner<\/p>\n

right in front of my enemies.<\/p>\n

You revive my drooping head;<\/p>\n

my cup brims with blessing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your beauty and love chase after me\u00a0<\/span>every day of my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m back home in the house of God\u00a0<\/span>for the rest of my life.<\/p>\n

-Psalm 23<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

\n

(all scripture quotes from The Message)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can\u2019t forget that day. We\u2019d just walked in the door coming home from church. We\u2019d had lunch out to celebrate Mother\u2019s Day and my first positive pregnancy test. I\u2019d had fish and chips. My heart was singing. \u00a0It was 2005. My husband sat me down, I was itching to call my best friend to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2289,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,50],"tags":[67,11087,96,98,101,126,11100,143],"class_list":["post-3307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prayer","category-rip","tag-anxiousness","tag-christianity","tag-death","tag-delivery","tag-despair","tag-glory","tag-hope","tag-hopelessness"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Valley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I can't forget that day. We'd just walked in the door coming home from church. 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