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{"id":1271,"date":"2011-03-14T00:01:13","date_gmt":"2011-03-14T07:01:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mamamonk.com\/?p=1271"},"modified":"2011-03-14T00:01:13","modified_gmt":"2011-03-14T07:01:13","slug":"beautiful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/2011\/03\/beautiful\/","title":{"rendered":"Beautiful"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u201cWhat\u2019s on your head, Mommy?\u201d my boy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a cross, buddy,\u201d I said. \u201cIt reminds me that Jesus loves me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d he said as he reached up to feel it and then looked down at his own fingers, now covered in grime. \u201cLook!\u201d he shouted, pointing to another woman gathering up her little boys at the same time, \u201cThat Mommy has one too!\u201d<\/p>\n

We walked home the five blocks in the dark of evening, a rare treat for both of us, who seem to rarely leave the house after five these days. And when we made it back to our apartment and I squatted in the hallway to remove his shoes and jacket, my son touched the cross on my head again and said, \u201cYou\u2019re beautiful, Mommy.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are some things about August that I, despite being his biggest fan of all time, can admit are weaknesses. He\u2019s got a stubborn streak that leads him to question or reject just about any hard line we draw for him. I\u2019ve been kicked and tantrumed out the wazoo by this kid\u2026and most of the time it has to do with his not wanting to brush his teeth or walk up the stairs or put on clothes. Having my mom here (while we wait for the baby to come) has helped me clarify (once again) that I\u2019m dealing with a kid here who doesn\u2019t just rebel like a normal two year old. I look at my mom and she shakes her head. \u201cHe\u2019s just really stubborn, Micha,\u201d she says. And her saying so is a great relief.<\/p>\n

In the midst of his ability to really make things difficult, that boy, in knowing what he wants, also knows how to be incredibly sweet. Yesterday he looked at the blanket my mom had knitted for T-Rexy and said to her, \u201cI\u2019m proud of you, JoJo.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, when his little fingers marked my forehead again last Wednesday night and spoke the word, \u201cbeautiful\u201d to this overly ripe prego lady whose full-term belly causes strangers to cringe when they pass me on the street\u2026When he touched the ugly markings on my head and declared me just as beautiful to him as I have always been, I believed him.<\/p>\n

Yesterday, my pastor Fred Harrell<\/a>, reminded us that Jesus will not transform our lives until we see him as \u201cbeautiful, not simply useful.\u201d It\u2019s the loving him that changes us, not the using him. I can\u2019t help but see my son in those words. What does it mean to love Jesus\u2014not because he my protector, or the one who forgives me, or the giver of courage to my fearful self\u2014but because he is beautiful?<\/p>\n

To reach my fingers up to his broken places just as Doubting Thomas was allowed<\/a>, to touch his gaping wounds, look in his eyes and say, with utter sincerity, \u201cYou are beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Because he is.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"