{"id":254,"date":"2010-04-07T08:42:05","date_gmt":"2010-04-07T15:42:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mamamonk.com\/?p=254"},"modified":"2010-04-07T08:42:05","modified_gmt":"2010-04-07T15:42:05","slug":"the-incredulity-of-saint-thomas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/2010\/04\/the-incredulity-of-saint-thomas\/","title":{"rendered":"The Incredulity of Saint Thomas"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

When I first began to follow the seasons of the Church, I was surprised to find that Easter was not intended to be a one-day festivity, but was set up as a seven-week period of celebration. I love that we don\u2019t just prepare ourselves for a day of commemorating Christ\u2019s resurrection, but we live in it for a while. We marinate in the stories of those who encountered Christ in his post-resurrected body. We have time to not only meditate on the fact that Jesus died (which often tends to be our evangelical emphasis), but recognize daily what it means that he lived, that he lives.<\/p>\n

I mentioned yesterday having read 1 Corinthians 15 in the morning. I spent some time with it today as well. (It\u2019s part of today\u2019s daily reading in The Book of Common Prayer. <\/em>At least I think it is\u2026I\u2019m never quite sure if I\u2019m on the correct year for scripture readings\u2026if someone know how to tell, teach me!) This reading is wonderful for me to hear today, and straight from my pastor\u2019s <\/a>fantastic sermon this past Sunday.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain\u201d (1 Corinthians 15:14).<\/p>\n

It\u2019s taken me about thirteen years of prayer and struggle to be able to confess that if anyone wrestles to believe that Christ has been raised, it\u2019s me. I\u2019m the worst kind of doubter\u2026the church-going kind. The kind who teaches Bible studies. The kind who smiles knowingly, nodding her head during praise songs and memorizes passages of the Bible. I\u2019m the doubter who fools you into thinking I\u2019m the best kind of believer.<\/p>\n

And so, during this season of Easter, I always most identify with Thomas. I know that if I had been among the disciples, I would have been the one doubting Christ\u2019s resurrection, except I would have been hiding it politely. I appreciate Thomas\u2019 bravery, his willingness to demand something from his friend, Jesus. And I appreciate that Jesus loves him in his honesty and his need for proof.<\/p>\n\n

That\u2019s why I love this painting by Caravaggio. I could probably say that it\u2019s my favorite painting of all time. I love it for its grotesqueness and darkness. I love it for Thomas\u2019 goofball face. I love that Christ is not only allowing Thomas to place his \u201chand into his side,\u201d but must be suffering in order to allow it (John 20:25). It can\u2019t feel good to have a man\u2019s finger knuckle deep in a scab. I don\u2019t pretend to understand how Christ\u2019s new body worked, how he was new and more beautiful, yet still bearing his death scars. But I can imagine that if his scab was anything like our scabs, it would have had to have been reopened in order for Thomas to stick his hand in there. It would have been painful. And Caravaggio has managed to paint a Jesus who can at once feel that pain and offer himself in love to his friend (once again).<\/p>\n

What I love about my own doubt, what I\u2019ve come to appreciate about the brain God has given me, is that it forces me into a daily choice. To quote my pastor: \u201cOf Jesus you can either say, \u2018He is of no value,\u2019 or \u2018He is of ultimate value.\u2019 You can\u2019t say, \u2018He is of some <\/em>value.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no room for moderation in the Resurrection story. Either it happened or it didn\u2019t. Either Thomas put his hand in Christ\u2019s side or Jesus\u2019 bones are lying in a cave somewhere. Our faith in Christ is everything or it\u2019s nothing. Either Jesus came back to us in a powerful, glorious new body and in turn, we will live a renewed, restored, more beautiful life after this one, or there\u2019s nothing; and according to Paul in 1 Corinthians, we\u2019d be better off to \u201ceat and drink, for tomorrow we may die.\u201d<\/p>\n

I am choosing today in a God who makes himself vulnerable in the Resurrection: vulnerable to our doubt and vulnerable to our fingers forced through his scab over and over. He knows we need to be reminded that his love for us extends into our fears and broken places. And for me that means being brave enough to approach him and ask for the reminder.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I first began to follow the seasons of the Church, I was surprised to find that Easter was not intended to be a one-day festivity, but was set up as a seven-week period of celebration. 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