{"id":308,"date":"2010-04-14T23:50:48","date_gmt":"2010-04-15T06:50:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mamamonk.com\/?p=308"},"modified":"2010-04-14T23:50:48","modified_gmt":"2010-04-15T06:50:48","slug":"joy-lasting-satisfying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/2010\/04\/joy-lasting-satisfying\/","title":{"rendered":"Joy: Lasting, Satisfying"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>There\u2019s something so comforting about sitting in my \u201cbedroom,\u201d the one I grew up in, with its ridiculous amount of childhood stuffed animals still lining shelves and its hot pink and yellow mural <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.jasonboyett.com\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">my brother<\/a> painted for my 17<sup>th<\/sup> birthday forever quoting John Keats: \u201cMore happy love! More happy, happy love!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m home. August and I spent the day flying to Texas and we will spend the next ten days lazing in the comfort of it all. For the past week, I\u2019ve been daydreaming about the smell of a West Texas thunderstorm. It\u2019s been years since I\u2019ve been in Amarillo during April: felt the hair stand up on my neck, the thick cool of the air, the forced slow motion of near-storm air. So, I was thrilled with the turbulence we hit when landing and thrilled with the sun-coated rain we walked into post flight. I love my hometown.<\/p>\n<p>I have some big plans for the next ten days. Number one: finish some of these freaking books that have been sitting on my \u201cMonkish Reading\u201d list since I started this blog. Top of that list: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Lifesigns-Intimacy-Fecundity-Christian-Perspective\/dp\/038523628X\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Henri Nouwen\u2019s <em>Lifesigns: Intimacy, Fecundity, and Ecstasy in Christian Perspective<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>This book is not only worth reading because it has the words Fecundity <em>and <\/em>Ecstasy in the title, but also because it\u2019s so good I don\u2019t want to finish. It\u2019s so rich I want to quote the whole thing on this blog. (So <a href=\"http:\/\/mamamonk.com\/2010\/03\/02\/inefficiency-and-the-selfish-mama\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">far<\/a> so <a href=\"http:\/\/mamamonk.com\/2010\/02\/26\/lets-talk-hospitality\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">good.)<\/a> I have the same problem I had as a fourth grader devouring chapter books and boring my parents into zombiehood with every detail of the story at dinner: \u201cAnd then Margaret said to Gina\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, lean over, I\u2019ll just say this quickly: Read <em>Lifesigns<\/em>, if only because Nouwen says this about joy:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMany people hardly believe anymore in the possibility of a truly joy-filled life. They have more or less accepted life as a prison and are grateful for every occasion that creates the illusion of the opposite: a cruise, a suspense novel, a sexual experience, or a few hours in a heightened state of consciousness. This is happiness in the house of fear, a happiness which is \u2018made in the world\u2019 and thus is neither lasting nor deeply satisfying\u201d (84).<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been really happy during this thirtieth year of life. The move has forced our little family into sweet Sabbath, a type of rest that I would never have made for myself before. I\u2019m happy that we\u2019ve had it pretty easy. I\u2019m happy that my son is so fantastic and that I love being a mom. I\u2019m happy that my husband honestly thinks I\u2019m the dearest and most lovely person he knows.<\/p>\n<p>So, if I didn\u2019t have a memory of darker years when anxiety ruled my brain (even while married to the same great man and during a seemingly painless season of life), when my go-to mode was one of self-accusation and fear, I would read this passage and move on. But, I know the truth. As happy as my life is, if that happiness is based only around ease, I\u2019m still living in what Nouwen calls \u201cthe house of fear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It seems to me that it\u2019s not always one or the other. There are days, moments even, when I grab hold of joy outside of the illusion of bliss. I get it. I can see the world being restored into something whole and I can see myself in it.<\/p>\n<p>And there are days I linger in my brain. (My brain hates me, by the way.) On those days everything good feels fleeting and ruled by the fear of its loss.<\/p>\n<p>I used to think there were joyful people and joyless people. I think I\u2019m changing my mind. There are only broken people who choose daily where to park their house: Hope or Fear.<\/p>\n<p>What about you? What do you believe about joy?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There\u2019s something so comforting about sitting in my \u201cbedroom,\u201d the one I grew up in, with its ridiculous amount of childhood stuffed animals still lining shelves and its hot pink and yellow mural my brother painted for my 17th birthday forever quoting John Keats: \u201cMore happy love! More happy, happy love!\u201d I\u2019m home. August and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":999,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[89,121],"class_list":["post-308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-monkish-reads","tag-spiritual-practice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Joy: Lasting, Satisfying - Micha Boyett<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There\u2019s something so comforting about sitting in my \u201cbedroom,\u201d the one I grew up in, with its ridiculous amount of childhood stuffed animals still lining\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/2010\/04\/joy-lasting-satisfying\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Joy: Lasting, Satisfying - 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