{"id":4220,"date":"2012-07-16T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2012-07-16T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/?p=4220"},"modified":"2012-07-15T23:01:23","modified_gmt":"2012-07-16T04:01:23","slug":"when-prayer-is-everything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/2012\/07\/when-prayer-is-everything\/","title":{"rendered":"When Prayer is Everything"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

It\u2019s Sunday and I\u2019m sitting on the very last row of a jet moving thousands of feet in the air (Is that true? How high do jets fly?) on my way to New Orleans. I\u2019ve never been to New Orleans before and this was not how I intended to get there. But, here I am, flying alone, on my way to speak about prayer to 200 high school students there this week for a mission trip.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a slick speaker.<\/p>\n

Actually, Andy Cornett<\/a>\u00a0(who for some reason I\u2019ve yet to understand asked me to speak), doesn\u2019t know what he\u2019s getting. He\u2019s taking a big risk here. So am I.<\/p>\n

I left my boys at my parents\u2019 home, where they will have a spectacular time. August and my mom have a calendar drawn out of how long I\u2019ll be gone and what fun thing he will do with his cousins each day.<\/p>\n

That doesn\u2019t mean it was easy to leave. He cried all Sunday morning, making himself sick about my leaving. When I finally got in the car with my dad, kissed my happy, carefree 16 month old who was swinging in the back yard, my 4-year-old was screaming from his gut, falling on the ground, trying to tear himself out of his grandmother\u2019s arms to come after me.<\/p>\n

He may have inherited his dad\u2019s stubbornness and opinionated nature, but my anxiety exists right alongside them. Leaving him was awful. Maybe there are some moms who would have said, I won\u2019t do this to my kid<\/em>. But, I did. I shouted that I loved him and that he would have so much fun. While he cried, I got in the car.<\/p>\n

Later, my mom texted that he was okay, that when he asked again where I was going (we\u2019ve talked about it over and over) and she answered that I was going to go talk to people about Jesus, he said: \u201cOh, I know all about Jesus. I can go help her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe next time, buddy.<\/p>\n

So, here I am. Feeling the deep ache of mommy guilt, even though I hear my Meemaw\u2019s words in my head saying, \u201cA mother should never feel guilt for leaving her kids with their grandmother. Kids having time with their grandmother is always a good thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

I believe Meemaw. Most of the time, when I\u2019m not reliving August\u2019s dramatic hurling of his body onto the lawn. And I know that what I\u2019m doing this week is important, whether or not I\u2019m a good speaker, whether or not I\u2019m impressive, whether or not I\u2019m ever asked to speak again. I love high school students. And I\u2019m passionate about telling them the truth about prayer: How desperately God loves the worst pray-ers, like me. And them.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been sitting straight up in this back row, looking over my notes for Monday morning and thinking about the words I\u2019m going to end on:<\/p>\n

It is God who changes our hearts<\/em>. I\u2019ll say.<\/p>\n

It is God who calls us to a life of honest relationship with him. Not just cleaned up words we say for 15 minutes in the morning, but a day of Everything.<\/em><\/p>\n

God wants prayer to be everything: what you do with your hands, how your heart responds to the people around you. God wants to be invited into the moment you ride with your girlfriend in the car with the windows down. God wants to be invited into the awkward dinner conversations with your parents. God wants to be invited into your time online, your time doing homework. And, yes, God wants to be invited into the time you spend \u201cpraying\u201d in the morning. All of it is prayer.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m reading those words and remembering. How am I inviting God into this flight, the smell of the airplane toilet fresh in my nose, as the door opens and shuts beside me? How am I inviting God into this moment\u2014when I miss my husband, who I haven\u2019t seen for the past week and I miss my kids, who I won\u2019t see for four days? How am I inviting God into my speaking anxiety and the decisions Chris and I have to make this week and the deep unspokens in my heart?<\/p>\n

God wants prayer to be everything<\/em>, I will say.<\/p>\n

Everything<\/em>, I will whisper to myself, my eyes scanning the crowd of 16 and 17 year-olds.<\/p>\n

Everything.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s Sunday and I\u2019m sitting on the very last row of a jet moving thousands of feet in the air (Is that true? How high do jets fly?) on my way to New Orleans. I\u2019ve never been to New Orleans before and this was not how I intended to get there. But, here I am, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":999,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[22,26,64,83,104,126],"class_list":["post-4220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-praying-life","tag-anxiety","tag-being-loved","tag-guilt","tag-mama-life","tag-present-moment","tag-sweet-monday"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen Prayer is Everything - Micha Boyett<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's Sunday and I\u2019m sitting on the very last row of a jet moving thousands of feet in the air (Is that true? 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