{"id":4458,"date":"2012-09-06T06:00:19","date_gmt":"2012-09-06T11:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/?p=4458"},"modified":"2012-09-05T23:32:44","modified_gmt":"2012-09-06T04:32:44","slug":"a-post-that-ends-with-grace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michaboyett\/2012\/09\/a-post-that-ends-with-grace\/","title":{"rendered":"A post that ends with grace."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Album cover illustration from E Power Biggs via Kami L on Pinterest<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>

Send out your light and our truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling. <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Psalm 43:3<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The blogging life is the weirdest. Most days, I post something and hope that my mood and my hormones and my common sense all collide with my inner artist and that something beautiful is waiting on the screen for all the readers who will come and listen.<\/p>\n

Other times, I realize I let my Crazy out and now everyone knows. Of course, I\u2019ve warned you that she (my Crazy) has always been underneath all the rest of it too. But usually I keep her in her proper (secret) place<\/p>\n

But, I want to be honest around here. I want to tell you what\u2019s real in me (as much as I can comprehend it. Who really knows the depths of her own mind, right?) So, yesterday, if it seemed like an anxious pecking bird had shown up instead of Micha, I hope you\u2019ll find that encouraging. We are all anxious birds pecking at something sometimes. All of us hide the Crazy.<\/p>\n

Yesterday morning, I woke up with my husband at 4:30 as he gathered his things for his 6:45 flight to San Francisco for work for the next couple of days. I tried to sleep again but it didn\u2019t work and, sure enough, Brooksie was up by 6 anyway. He has a cold and fever and we sat together on the couch drinking milk and coffee, respectively.<\/p>\n

Then, I got to work. I had to finish packing. (Yes, packing, again.) This time for a brief visit to my parents, as a sort of \u201cone last fling\u201d while I live in Texas. Also, I want some quality time with my grandmother (who lost my grandfather<\/a> a little over a month ago), before it\u2019s a lot more difficult to visit.<\/p>\n

We rode in planes today, my boys and I. They are such pros at airplanes. August stared out the window and we counted from the moment of acceleration until the plane actually lifted off. (It\u2019s 30 seconds, by the way. It\u2019s always 30 seconds and we count every time.)<\/p>\n

I got to Amarillo exhausted and thankful to sit in my parents\u2019 house in the rocking chair, watching the boys find their favorite grandparent toys, only getting up to wipe Brooksie\u2019s snotty nose.<\/p>\n

I read your comments<\/a> in that rocking chair. I read all your kind words about soul care and why I don\u2019t have to defend myself or live in guilt.<\/p>\n

Oh, friends. How often to I have to hear those things to believe them? Yes, I believe in soul care. I believe guilt wants to chomp my heart out with its big, angry teeth (and I don\u2019t have to let it!). I believe that I don\u2019t need to prove anything and that what people think of me should not hold the place of honor it tends to hold in my chest.<\/p>\n

At the airport, while August ran along the sun warmed window shooting invisible powers out of his hands (at unsuspecting travelers) and Brooksie squatted deep in thought as he watched those tiny cars load suitcases and drag them from plane to plane outside the window, I discovered a voicemail from Molly. She had called to give me a pep talk. \u201cTrust me,\u201d she said. \u201cItaly will change your life. Of course you should be doing this!\u201d<\/p>\n

And I sighed a good sigh and gathered the little boys and our packed stroller of stuff into the corner as the file of plane-fillers began snaking toward the airplane\u2019s open door.<\/p>\n

Send out your light and truth<\/em>, I read (then prayed) this morning while Brooksie and I sat on the couch together. That they may lead me<\/em>. To be led by light and truth. For those good sisters to take the path ahead of me.<\/p>\n

Sometimes in my weakest moments, in my most guilt-ridden, most anxiously-centered places, I think the holy hill, the dwelling, is waiting for me when I finally get it together. When I finally improve myself to a place where weakness holds no power over me.<\/p>\n

But, the holy hill is up ahead. God\u2019s good light and truth? They\u2019re leading me because of my weaknesses. Light and truth are leading because I can\u2019t see without them. They\u2019re leading me to the holy hill, not because it\u2019s my own doing. But because when I couldn\u2019t make sense of the dark, they arrived: Bright hope.<\/p>\n

Here we are again. A post about grace. Of course we are here: a post that starts with Crazy and ends with Grace.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Send out your light and our truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling. Psalm 43:3 The blogging life is the weirdest. Most days, I post something and hope that my mood and my hormones and my common sense all collide with my inner artist and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":999,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[159],"tags":[22,39,59,71,104],"class_list":["post-4458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-daily","tag-anxiety","tag-crazy-mother","tag-grace","tag-hope","tag-present-moment"],"yoast_head":"\nA post that ends with grace. - Micha Boyett<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Send out your light and our truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling. 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