{"id":161,"date":"2023-10-09T14:13:30","date_gmt":"2023-10-09T19:13:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/?p=161"},"modified":"2024-10-08T16:13:50","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T21:13:50","slug":"words-kill-words-give-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The tongue has the power of life and death,<\/em><\/p>\n

And those who love it will eat its fruit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Proverbs 18:21<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

One of the most important tools we can learn in this life is to grow into a good listener. What, you may ask, does listening have to do with speaking words that bring life rather than kill another\u2019s spirit? A great deal.<\/p>\n

Consider the most recent conversation you had with someone when you felt understand and respected. I can almost guarantee that the individual with whom you were conversing has learned the fine art of listening well.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s make the assumption that each of us comes to every conversation with our own set of presuppositions<\/a> and perspectives because we all do. It doesn\u2019t matter how old we are, what sex we are, where we grew up or how affluent, educated, or experienced we are. Each of us comes to the table with an entire microcosm of attitudes; history; and personal bents toward, well, everything.<\/p>\n

Knowing that I must speak to you in way that you can fully comprehend and understand is vital. So how must I enter into a conversation with you so that I\u2019m confident you truly understand what I\u2019m trying to convey?\u00a0 I must first take the time to listen carefully and attentively to you. Sounds so simple but frequently we fail this test because we are over-eager to share what\u2019s on our hearts and minds.<\/p>\n

Knowing that every word I speak can either build you up or tear you down should make me cautious in how I talk. I want my words to bring life to others. And the opposite is just as true. I never desire for my words to kill someone\u2019s spirit\u2026or their confidence, or their innate God-ordained value as a fellow human being.<\/p>\n

The rub is when I\u2019m talking with someone that I disagree with on some important issue. It\u2019s especially important in these tenuous situations that I communicate well and listen even better. I may not agree with you. But I can learn to hear what you\u2019re saying as well as what you\u2019re not saying. We all have reasons for how we believe as we do. The question is this \u2013 do I love you enough to work hard enough in communicating with you even when we are on polar opposites of an important topic?<\/p>\n

This verse from the book of Proverbs, The tongue has the power of life and death,<\/em><\/p>\n

and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21<\/a>), <\/em>is absolutely key for us to grow into effective and competent listeners (and communicators). Today, especially now, in this highly volatile world in which we live where tensions, strife, and voices continue to blare louder, we as Christ followers must learn to speak wisely and listen more attentively.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s an old quotation that says I can\u2019t hear what you\u2019re saying unless I know you care. Wise words. Let\u2019s all heed them beginning today.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Questions for Personal Reflection:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Think about the most recent conversation you had with someone and reflect on how that give and take of information made you feel.<\/li>\n
  2. Consider a conversation you had with someone that went badly. Dissect the conversation and ask yourself how you might have spoken differently?<\/li>\n
  3. Do you consider yourself a good listener? If not, how can you grow in this area? If so, how can you continue to improve?<\/li>\n
  4. Reread this verse from Proverbs and commit it to memory. Write it out on a card and place it in a prominent place so that you are reminded of its truth throughout the day.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u00a0 The tongue has the power of life and death, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 \u00a0 One of the most important tools we can learn in this life is to grow into a good listener. What, you may ask, does listening have to do with speaking words that bring […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5318,"featured_media":173,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[26,20,17,23],"class_list":["post-161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-choosing-words-with-care","tag-learning-to-listen-effectively","tag-listening-well","tag-using-our-words-to-build-up"],"yoast_head":"\nWords Kill \u2013 Words Give Life Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Grow into a good listener to communicate effectively.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Grow into a good listener to communicate effectively.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Michele Howe Writes and Reviews\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MicheleHoweAuthor\/?ref=bookmarks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-10-09T19:13:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-10-08T21:13:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/2042\/2023\/10\/pexels-oleksandr-p-344102-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"879\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"585\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Michele Howe\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@reviewermom\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Michele Howe\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/\",\"name\":\"Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-10-09T19:13:30+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-10-08T21:13:50+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/#\/schema\/person\/4c69d49ed101908835a1b9c0f08dd2cb\"},\"description\":\"Grow into a good listener to communicate effectively.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2023\/10\/words-kill-words-give-life\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Words Kill \u2013 Words Give Life\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/\",\"name\":\"Michele Howe Writes and Reviews\",\"description\":\"MicheleHoweWrites will offer thoughtful essays which unpack Christian biblical principles to apply in daily life. 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