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<\/a>At least, that\u2019s how I imagined we would welcome the blessed month of Ramadan.<\/p>\n
Instead, we shattered the quiet, reflective time of maghrib by shaking glow sticks in the dusk, blowing noise makers and jumping up and down. We got high off too many dates \u2014 the natural sugars making sure my children bounced off the walls until three hours past their bedtime.<\/p>\n
Unconventional for some, but amazing to usher in Ramadan with true abandon and joy.<\/p>\n
This is the first year that I\u2019m fasting with my daughters Eryn and Ivy \u2014 and I\u2019m doing it solo. The Hubby is currently working in the UK, my Muslim family has returned to Kuwait for the summer, I\u2019m unmosqued<\/a> from the closest community in my area, and while I\u2019ve previously adjusted to the isolation caused by not fasting<\/a> due to pregnancy or breastfeeding, I\u2019ve never had to fast alone on top of experiencing a little single parenting.<\/p>\n Caring for two young children is all-consuming. Every moment of their day is meticulously planned, so I can hopefully get them into bed in time for me to break my fast and find an hour to work on my own spiritual goals. Sure, we normally have a schedule, but I rely a lot on the respite gained from passing off the kids to their father. There is barely enough time for me to perform the bare minimum requirements of prayer \u2014 let alone engage in the extra acts of devotion normally associated with Ramadan. Literally every second of my day is dedicated to talking, singing, and moving for the benefit of the kids.<\/p>\n Breakfast, dress-up, laundry, park, picnic, nap, splash pad, craft time, cooking, dinner, clean-up, bath, play and bed \u2014 doesn\u2019t leave much time for extra worship, Qur\u2019an, or blogging for that matter.<\/p>\n So since I\u2019m outnumbered, I\u2019m learning to experience Ramadan like a child. And that means creating Ramadan spiritual activities that suit the three of us. In doing so, I\u2019m honing and reframing my worship into small, manageable, mind-blastingly fun snippets \u2014 in the hopes of encouraging the Ramadan spirit and nourishing my soul in the process. Something that\u2019s a complete departure from the usual austere attitudes and seriousness that I usually apply to increasing my imaan.<\/p>\n There\u2019s no way I have the opportunity to spend an hour reading the Qur\u2019an during the day. I need that hour to get the girls ready to go to the park. So instead of lamenting over the fact that I\u2019ll probably not get to read the Qur\u2019an cover-to-cover AGAIN, we\u2019re playing the \u201cQur\u2019an Game.\u201d Every day after \u2018Asr prayers we all take turns closing our eyes, flipping through the Qur\u2019an and randomly pointing to a verse. I\u2019ll then read the verse and tell the girls a related story. It\u2019s a refreshing approach that\u2019s allowing me to see a lot more of the Qur\u2019an, instead of just trying to get through al-Baqarah by day four. My oldest daughter enjoys keeping \u201cscore\u201d based on verse numbers, and the youngest is happy feeling the pages puff air across her face.<\/p>\n My kids love repetition, so we\u2019ve replaced our daily dance parties with dhikr drum circles. And while it does tend to descend into absolute chaos, with the baby screaming wordlessly while rattling her tambourine, it\u2019s still a really nice experience. Okay, so there\u2019s no candles, mint tea or \u201ccommunity feeling\u201d \u2014 but it\u2019s absolutely fulfilling when I later catch my oldest singing \u201cAllah Hu\u201d to herself while she plays with her dinosaurs. The pride I have for her at that moment overshadows any self-indulgent yearning I might have to attend evening prayers at the mosque.<\/p>\n Another outcome of fasting alone with the girls is that I\u2019ve become a better parent. I\u2019m remarkably relaxed. I\u2019m not rushing the girls to get home on time or ignoring them so I can whip up a four course iftaar spread of samboosas, soup, biryani and curry. I really only have to cook for myself \u2014 so my iftaars consist of eating leftover kid-friendly pasta bake. I can\u2019t tell you how nice it is not to be stressed over food preparation. It\u2019s like I\u2019ve freed myself from culinary expectations and my own assumed Ramadan duties. I know the girls appreciate the extra attention as well \u2014 as tantrums are at an all-time low.<\/p>\n Fasting alone with children is also teaching me to have the utmost patience. When things do get tense, because someone missed a nap or really, really wants to stick fingers into a light socket \u2014 I let go. I redirect, embrace patience and learn to release power struggles and stop trying to micromanage my kids. They\u2019re happier, and somehow, when I\u2019m seriously on my very last shred of patience after running around fasting all day in the summer heat, I\u2019m still able to find the energy to be so VERY enthusiastic about playing ballerinas and pirates for the fifth time in a row.<\/p>\n<\/a>