{"id":2331,"date":"2009-01-07T00:00:44","date_gmt":"2009-01-07T08:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/muslimahmediawatch.org\/?p=2331"},"modified":"2012-07-04T01:36:41","modified_gmt":"2012-07-04T05:36:41","slug":"aliyahs-choice-the-la-times-profile-of-a-lesbian-muslim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mmw\/2009\/01\/aliyahs-choice-the-la-times-profile-of-a-lesbian-muslim\/","title":{"rendered":"Aliyah’s Choice: The LA Times’ Profile of a Lesbian Muslim"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

It wasn\u2019t but several years ago when a Google search for \u201cgay Muslims\u201d or \u201clesbian Muslims\u201d turned up few results on actual people, mainly just pages on why homosexuality is a sin in Islam and perhaps one or two articles<\/a>, usually focusing on men. Since then there\u2019s been an increase in profiles on people who struggle to reconcile \u2014 or not reconcile \u2014 the two identities. Films like Parvez Sharma\u2019s A Jihad for Love <\/em>(2007) and the Channel 4 documentary Gay Muslims<\/em> (2006) have added to coverage on the topic.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Aliyah<\/dt>\n
Aliyah on her wedding day. Image via LA Times article.<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n
<\/dl>\n

Recently the LA Times<\/em> ran a story<\/a> on 22-year-old Aliyah Bacchus, who faces this struggle. Writer Erika Hayasaki introduces the topic thus: \u201cAliyah Bacchus returns home to offer a choice: Accept her sexuality \u2014 as she has \u2014 or lose her forever.\u201d She recounts Aliyah\u2019s story: wearing the abaya to high school, her unhappy marriage at 17, and her realization and identification as gay.<\/p>\n

Hayasaki tells Aliyah\u2019s story in third person, her diction literary and descriptions detailed. Considering the personal nature of the mini-biography, which describes Aliyah\u2019s thoughts and feelings, there is a surprising lack of direct quotes from Aliyah herself.<\/p>\n

The dramatically-told story builds up to final confrontation. Aliyah tells her aunt (who raised her after her mother died) that she loves a woman, a non-Muslim at that. Her aunt\u2019s disapproval of homosexuality has not changed. Hayasaki writes,<\/p>\n

\u201cSalam o aliukum,\u201d her aunt tells her. May the peace and blessings of Allah be with you. I\u2019ll pray for Allah to forgive you, she tells Aliyah, before getting into her van.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This phenomenon reminds me of one described by blogger Muslim Hedonist, now Crypto-Muslim<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Just as we were taught to be; be as nice as you can to your relatives, but don\u2019t compromise Islamic principles. Support people as much as you can, but withhold from wrongdoers the pearl of great price\u2014acceptance, belonging. In the end, you hold them at arm\u2019s length.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Aliyah leaves, and flies to Arizona with the woman she loves. She hasn\u2019t communicated with her family since.<\/p>\n

Building up to the final conversation that determines a lifelong decision makes a dramatic story, but it leads to a predictable ending. Who really expects a conservative family like Aliyah\u2019s to accept a daughter living as a lesbian? You don\u2019t even have to be someone who arranges her 17-year-old daughter\u2019s marriage to be opposed to her being gay. And the added factor of her aunt\u2019s view of homosexuality as fundamentally immoral doesn\u2019t help matters.<\/p>\n

The problem with articles on gay Muslims is that they often paint a distinct binary of the Muslim identity as constraining, conservative, and judgmental, and the gay identity as free, liberating, and natural. There\u2019s a reality that developed this stereotype, but it\u2019s not quite that simple. When a gay Muslim throws off her Muslim identity because it conflicts with her gayness (as some Muslims do<\/a>), it\u2019s not as though all the problems of being gay disappear and life is suddenly easy. And it\u2019s certainly not as though families, if only they weren\u2019t Muslim, would accept a gay child. It\u2019s true that many Muslims and many immigrants don\u2019t view homosexuality favorably, but it\u2019s not a position that\u2019s unique to these communities, even when it may be more prevalent in them.<\/p>\n

\"Aliyah
Aliyah now. Image from Jennifer S. Altman for the LA Times. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This story presents an ultimatum, but it shows family, not Islam, as pitted against Aliyah being gay. There is no mention of Aliyah leaving Islam \u2014 in fact, the article notes that she, along with her non-Muslim partner, fasted during Ramadan, and tries to lead an upright, charitable life. Hayasaki makes no judgments on Aliyah\u2019s religiosity or what constitutes true Islam. Near the end of the article, there\u2019s a reference to two bottles of \u201cred Russian champagne.\u201d There is no explanation of whether these are Aliyah\u2019s or Stella\u2019s and whether Aliyah drinks alcohol.<\/p>\n

The article is accompanied by a photo (above right) of a crosslegged Aliyah, laughing. In contrast to the wedding picture (above left) provided as related content, in which she is dressed in all white, only her face showing, in the recent picture Aliyah wears a tank top and sweatpants. I don\u2019t want to linger on clothing too much, since it\u2019s an over-discussed topic as it is, but I wonder: was the tank top, which shows a bit of her lower back as well as the usual areas tank tops don\u2019t cover, chosen specifically to illustrate a drift from conservative Islam? In the story, Hayasaki describes Aliyah\u2019s post-abaya look as an ankle-length black trench coat, sunglasses, piercings, and tattoos. Perhaps there could be some elaboration on how Aliyah\u2019s self-realization led to the new look, especially since in high school she had stuck to the abaya \u201cas if daring the world to take her on.\u201d It can\u2019t be as simple as \u201call lesbians have tattoos.\u201d Did she lose the hijab\/abaya the same time she cut her hair and said goodbye to her husband? Does it reflect a rejection of letting her family decide for her?<\/p>\n

Despite the fact it reads like a novel, Hayasaki\u2019s article is a good one, giving a peek into the struggles of being gay and Muslim and showing that one can attempt to reconcile religion, if not family. I would be interested in reading more about Aliyah, in her own words. Beyond this article, I\u2019m curious if there\u2019s a perhaps a story somewhere of someone who isn\u2019t forced to choose between two strict worlds. Where are the Muslims who are gay and, though they may struggle, don\u2019t give up on their families or their religion?<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s Note: Please read our comment moderation guide before commenting. Homophobic and other disrespectful comments are not tolerated. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It wasn\u2019t but several years ago when a Google search for \u201cgay Muslims\u201d or \u201clesbian Muslims\u201d turned up few results on actual people, mainly just pages on why homosexuality is a sin in Islam and perhaps one or two articles, usually focusing on men. Since then there\u2019s been an increase in profiles on people who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,13],"tags":[85,425,501,759],"class_list":["post-2331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culturesociety","category-news","tag-aliyah-bacchus","tag-family","tag-gay-muslims","tag-lgbtq"],"yoast_head":"\nAliyah's Choice: The LA Times' Profile of a Lesbian Muslim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It wasn\u2019t but several years ago when a Google search for \u201cgay Muslims\u201d or \u201clesbian Muslims\u201d turned up few results on actual people, mainly just pages on\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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