Being a celebrity in the entertainment world attracts a lot of attention but being a divorcee it seems, will add more \u201caura\u201d and \u201cglamour,\u201d reported Metro Ahad<\/em>. Celebrities such as Abby Abadi<\/a>, Rozita Che Wan, Nora Danish, Azharina<\/a> and Nurul are among the divorcees being pursued by V.I.Ps*, who are often already married.<\/p>\n
Abby said she was shocked that there was a veteran artiste who was willing to be the middle person in setting up meetings with V.I.P.s outside the country. \u201cIf the person is someone I do not know, I would not be insulted but this person is my friend. How dare this person do such things?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Friend or not, they should<\/em> feel insulted because they\u2019re basically treated like call girls:**<\/p>\n
\u201cI know who the V.I.P is but there is no need to reveal his identity. The payment promised is a huge sum but I am not money crazy,\u201d she said, adding that she was told that many celebrities entertained V.I.Ps outside the country.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Abby Abadi.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n It\u2019s become common knowledge in Muslim communities in many parts of the world\u2013rural and urban alike\u2013that being divorced and female tends to carry extra connotations while being male and divorced does not. Let\u2019s start with looking at the words like \u201caura\u201d and \u201cglamour\u201d. First, they are not the kind of words that flatter a woman if what they really suggest is unwanted attention and almost certainly, sexual harassment. Second, the two words thinly veil societal symptoms that strips the respectability of divorced women, reducing them to wanton \u201cused goods\u201d. In Malay popular discourse, a woman\u2019s divorced or widowed status increases the suspicions of her available sexuality and the subsequent tendency to view her as a seductive temptress.<\/p>\n
There is a whole page in Marjane Satrapi\u2019s autobiographical graphic novel Persepolis<\/em> that illustrates this perfectly. In Volume 2 (page 178), the author\u2019s childhood friend tries to talk Marjane out of her decision to leave her husband by sharing a story about her sister who\u2019s left hers (forgive the lack of images):<\/p>\n
\u201cA year ago, my sister left her husband. From the minute she had the title of divorced woman, the butcher, the pastry chef, the baker, the fruit and vegetable seller, the itinerant cigarette seller, even beggars in the street, all made it clear they\u2019d like to sleep with her. From men\u2019s point of view, for one thing, their dicks are irresistible, and for another thing, since you are divorced, you\u2019re no longer a virgin and you have no reason to refuse them. They have complete confidence! Listen, there\u2019s nothing surprising about it! Ever since their birth, their mothers have called them doudoul tala<\/em> (golden penis). So, as long as your life isn\u2019t hell, stay with your husband! I know your family is open-minded, but everyone [else] will judge you!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It\u2019s worth unpacking this societal malaise to understand the stigma behind a woman\u2019s divorce.\u00a0 Traditionally, a woman\u2019s worth is often defined by her relationship with a man: either it\u2019s her father, husband or any random male guardian. Without ties to any of these men as a result of marriage, divorce or death, a woman is perceived to be in a kind of limbo, unable to restrain her female sexuality. Furthermore, marital breakdown is often viewed as evidence for a woman\u2019s inadequacies as an all-sacrificing wife and mother, which adds to the reason why women very often take the blame if marriages fall apart.<\/p>\n
Perhaps the most unfortunate aspect of this malaise is society\u2019s general refusal to sympathize with divorced women and, if she has children, to acknowledge the fact that the bigger challenge lies in balancing a career and the needs of the family alone, rather than fulfilling her sexual needs. Compared to the relative ease for Muslim men to seek separation from his wife or to marry another, divorce for Muslim women is an agonizing and often debilitating reality that has no reason for glamorization. And despite the fact that Muslim women the world over are making amazing strides in the workplace and family codes, the humiliation that often comes with divorce has yet to be seriously and urgently addressed.<\/p>\n
* V.I.P is often a codename for wealthy, influential men in Malaysian gossip lingo.<\/em><\/p>\n
** This does not insinuate the demonisation of sex workers on my part \u2013 they deserve our respect and sympathy, too.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If you think that divorce brings shame and stigma squarely upon women only in conservative societies, think again. Because according to a \u201dnews\u201d report published in the Malaysian tabloid, Metro Ahad, celebrity divorcees are apparently the hottest thing on the market at the moment. I usually read the stuff on local tabloids with a pinch […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":157,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[268,358,795],"class_list":["post-3483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-booksmagazines","category-culturesociety","tag-celebrities","tag-divorce","tag-malaysia"],"yoast_head":"\n
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