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<\/a><\/p>\nI practically live on the internet. I wrote a post about how awesome it is to have friends on the internet. I love that I can be open about my faith online to friends and acquaintances who see themselves as atheist, agnostic or \u201cspiritual but not religious\u201d without having any kind of yelling or belittling of myself or my beliefs. But I still have friends in real life as well and while I have a lot of social networks, I haven\u2019t signed up for any online dating sites or installed any kind of dating apps on my tablet.\u00a0Hypothetically,\u00a0if<\/em>\u00a0I were to ever go out on a date, I\u2019d want to meet the guy in real life, have him ask for my number, and take me out to dinner. It sounds old-fashioned, I know.<\/p>\nOne reason I don\u2019t go on dating sites is for one thing, all the good ones are too expensive. I do know people who\u2019ve met and even married people they met online, but as I said before, I\u2019m an old-fashioned romantic. I want to get to know the guy I\u2019m with as an actual person, not just chat with him on Facebook or talk via text messaging. It takes me\u00a0completely<\/em> out of my comfort zone, but hey, nothing safe is worth the drive.<\/p>\nThere\u2019s an article from\u00a0Vanity Fair<\/em>\u00a0going around called \u201cTinder and the Dawn of the \u2018Dating Apocalypse.'\u201d It\u2019s a pretty long article that comments on how fast and easy the hookup culture has become with the popularity of apps like Tinder which focus more on getting someone to spend the night with\u00a0than getting to know a person. But honestly, I don\u2019t see how that\u2019s different from two strangers going to sleep with each other after meeting at a party or a bar. The hookup culture has been around for decades. It\u2019s just that it\u2019s happening faster now.<\/p>\nI don\u2019t blame this so-called \u201cdating apocalypse\u201d on apps like Tinder. I blame the hookup culture. I get the desire of wanting to be with a person, but too many people are accepting of this idea that hookups are okay without thinking of the consequences, physical and emotional. There\u2019s this dizzying, contradicting logic that \u00a0people can have sex without consequences and yet somehow still find true love if the person is also someone you want to be with outside of the bedroom.<\/p>\n
So why do I cultivate the majority of my friendships online but prefer to find my dates in the real world? To be honest, it\u2019s because online, it\u2019s easier to find people who share the same interests. I can talk about Buffy<\/em> as much as I want to with my fellow online friends because we all understand our love for the show and the characters. But at the same time, I hope I can meet these friends at a convention. Eventually, even with online friendships, there\u2019s a desire to know the person in the real world. The reason I want to find my dates in the real world is because I\u2019m not just looking for someone I talk about\u00a0Buffy<\/em> or\u00a0Doctor Who<\/em> with. I\u2019m looking for a future husband.<\/p>\nCasual dating\u00a0about knowing what kind of person you like to be with and hopefully learning some emotional maturity in the process. Casual dating is\u00a0not<\/em> for everyone. For me, casual dating helps me to not get my expectations too high. Love doesn\u2019t have to be all-or-nothing. While I\u2019m okay with just getting to know guys and casually dating them without any expectations of a relationship or marriage right now, eventually, there will be a guy who will go the extra mile for me and I\u2019ll want to get too know him more than any other guy. In other words, when it comes to dating, I\u2019m cultivating love with a different kind of tinder.<\/p>\nThe tinder that comes with authentic love is loving the other person as a person, not just as a means to an end. I\u2019m not saying to go out on a date and talk about wedding bells and a white picket fence right away. I\u2019m saying that you need to know the person you\u2019re going out with as a legitimate and actual human being, created by God for a purpose. Eventually, the right person will come. But until then, there is no need for the instant gratification of a swipe and the ego boost that comes with a person thinking you look hot enough to spend the night with. I struggle with lonely nights just as much as anyone else, but I also know, that there are ways to deal with my loneliness that doesn\u2019t require an app or an internet connection. I hope that others will come to realize that as well.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I practically live on the internet. I wrote a post about how awesome it is to have friends on the internet. I love that I can be open about my faith online to friends and acquaintances who see themselves as atheist, agnostic or \u201cspiritual but not religious\u201d without having any kind of yelling or belittling […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2156,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,1024,16,415],"tags":[1042,414,148,1041,226,1040,294,1039],"class_list":["post-3275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships-2","category-social-media-2","category-the-soapbox","category-young-adult-issues","tag-casual-dating","tag-dating","tag-friendship","tag-hookup-culture","tag-love","tag-online-dating","tag-relationships","tag-tinder"],"yoast_head":"\n
A Different Kind of Tinder: The Differences Between The Hookup Culture, Friendship, Casual Dating, and True Love<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I practically live on the internet. I wrote a post about how awesome it is to have friends on the internet. I love that I can be open about my faith\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/moniqueocampowrites\/2015\/08\/28\/a-different-kind-of-tinder-the-differences-between-the-hookup-culture-friendship-casual-dating-and-true-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Different Kind of Tinder: The Differences Between The Hookup Culture, Friendship, Casual Dating, and True Love\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I practically live on the internet. 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