![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/81\/2014\/01\/mary-egg.jpg\" "\\"mary")
<\/a><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dear all,<\/p>\n
My goodness.<\/p>\n
2019!<\/p>\n
Oh my\u2026<\/p>\n
Things writ large are not particularly good. Our country and our world ever further down the road to catastrophe. As it always is. But, maybe, particularly in this moment, especially weird and terrible.<\/p>\n
And. This past year I turned seventy. I\u2019m rather surprised at how that singular fact has hung in my consciousness. In some ways just a mark on a calendar. On the other hand by all our social conventions I am old. Young old by some calculations, but inescapably, old. In many ways I genuinely feel the fact of that being old.<\/p>\n
And. Of course.\u00a0Dying is in my thoughts. I know we\u2019re all dying. From the moment we draw that first precious breath, there will be a last one. But, me, I\u2019m just a bit closer to my own personal intimate demise. There is no pretending left. Not that there\u2019s been much. But. Today. In this New Year. I am old and death is not far away\u2026<\/p>\n
Me, in this moment I find myself recalling that story of those two professors at the large midwestern university. The one is bitter and resentful, knowing he should have ended up at one of the Ivy League schools. The other unspeakably grateful that she managed to achieve her dream and become a tenured professor.<\/p>\n I look back and feel pretty good about my life. I\u2019ve made some astonishingly stupid mistakes. I\u2019ve even done things that really merely calling \u201cmistakes\u201d is a bit of face saving. It\u2019s frankly amazing I\u2019m alive and doing so well. And on the other column in the register I\u2019ve done some good. There are a couple of things I feel really proud of. A bunch more I feel really, really lucky about.<\/p>\n Bottom line.\u00a0Lucky. In the cosmic lottery, I drew one of the winning tickets.<\/p>\n So\u2026\u00a0Of those two professors, most of the time I\u2019m with the grateful one.\u00a0And with all that now on to the next year.<\/p>\n So, among the many, one question hangs out there particularly intimate.\u00a0\u201cWhat will you do with your one wild & precious life?\u201d What, with that passing brief time will I do?\u00a0As the sands fall away, what?<\/p>\n I have small hopes these days. Mostly.\u00a0I really would like to lose weight. Well, I claim I would, but there is some unfortunate evidence suggesting otherwise. There are a couple of things I hope to do with our Zen sangha<\/a>.\u00a0I\u2019ve got a couple more books in me \u2013 I think. As a goal for that for the year, just starting a next one, depending on how one counts, a sixth is sufficient. I think\u2026<\/p>\n Mostly I want to be a better husband. And.\u00a0The cat? Well, the less said about her, the better.\u00a0Small stuff, but where I want to be.<\/p>\n So, I look back, I look forward.\u00a0And, here. Of course. I know. In the only real place.\u00a0This moment.<\/p>\n For this upcoming year, I wish more attention to this moment. I want to let the past be and the future to do what it must. And I want for it all to settle into my heart here.<\/p>\n Just this. Now.<\/p>\n I do all this, think it, live it, recall it, and I feel one more or less abiding emotion. I\u2019m grateful.\u00a0Knowing in my bones how it is all passing, and passing away. And knowing out of the silence I must on occasion speak.<\/p>\n From this place I want to speak to you of the new year.\u00a0And so\u2026\u00a0Ready or not here it comes.<\/p>\n Happy New Year!<\/p>\n And with that.\u00a0Best wishes to all!<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n