In discussions involving pornography/masturbation, please don’t forget the singles in the Church, as singles 30 and up are somewhere around a third of the membership of the Church. As bad as infidelity is, pointing out the problems and solutions for those of us not in any kind of a relationship would be a positive addition to your already excellent blog. Thank you for your constructive feedback.I agree that the adult single population within the church is large and frequently feels... Read more

I came across your blog today and thought you might be able to help me. I am trying to find a therapist for my husband. He was treating with a female therapist, but at this point he feels that he would be able to more effectively treat with a male therapist. Do you know any in this area? All the feelers I have put out for one have come to dead ends. Thank you so much for your help. Is... Read more

Are the magazines Sports Illustrated Swim Edition and Maxim considered porn? How would you define pornography? How would you direct someone who found out that their spouse is looking at pornography, but has denied it in the past? How should they address the issue in the best way if the spouse doesn’t know that they know? And where do you go from there? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines pornography as: the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended... Read more

Telling people to avoid pornography is almost useless. Church leaders have been doing this for decades, and, yet, we still have a huge problem with porn, masturbation and other aspects of SA within the Church, both men and women, both single and married, both adult and adolescent. This isn’t something where a small portion of individuals are involved — almost all adolescents in the US (at least) have regular contact with pornography. Most bishops spend an immense amount of time... Read more

Recently as I found myself in a waiting room I came across the following articles in “O” (the Oprah Magazine – May 2008 issue) that I think are useful for anyone needing some hints for communicating around conflictual issues. Let’s Not Fight by Sara Reistad-Long and It’s Showdown Time by Judith Stone Read more

I appreciate the honesty and opinions. The shutting out occurred primarily as a result of years of both denial (denial that I had any right to want happiness) and sadness (sadness with the reality I am now facing). He has hidden his struggle all his life… of course he did…. but consequently lied and lied again and again to cover up more lies. I understand the struggle, I have researched, I have sought understanding. I do not “blame” him. I... Read more

I received several interesting and useful comments regarding women watching pornography and how this is a growing issue among our members and women in general. It is important to know that group therapy is highly recommended as part of the equation for treating any addiction. There is an accountability factor to group therapy that is very useful. Comment #1:SA is largely where alcoholism was early in the days of AA. The standard model was that men were alcoholics and went... Read more

At the risk of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, I would venture that the REAL problem is how this couple is shutting each other out, and that the homosexuality and pornography are trivial in comparison. Things can work out with the first two, but not with actively shutting each other out. His attractions are not sin, per se. Don’t panic and stress – focus on the basics of both of you, coming to Christ. Yes, I agree that... Read more

For over ten years now, I’ve operated internet resources for Latter-day Saints who struggle with pornography and sexually compulsive behaviors. I’ve seen an increase in the last couple of years of women coming to use those resources. I think it’s a combination of two things: 1. Women are being pulled into it more and more.2. Women who previously would not admit to it are now seeking help. Thank you for your comments. Would you be willing to share some of... Read more