{"id":18,"date":"2011-12-10T22:55:00","date_gmt":"2011-12-10T22:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2011\/12\/i-am-suffering-from-premature-ejaculation\/"},"modified":"2012-10-15T00:15:31","modified_gmt":"2012-10-15T05:15:31","slug":"i-am-suffering-from-premature-ejaculation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2011\/12\/i-am-suffering-from-premature-ejaculation.html","title":{"rendered":"I am suffering from premature ejaculation…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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I am currently suffering from premature ejaculation, a problem which is negatively impacting my sexual relationship with my wife. I wish I was a \u201cminute-man\u201d \u2014 I\u2019m more like a \u201c30-second-man\u201d! I\u2019ve been prescribed Paxil, which has helped, but I don\u2019t like the way SSRIs make me feel, and I\u2019d rather not become dependent on them for sexual function. At the very least, I\u2019d like to start incorporating other techniques such as kegel exercises and edging in addition to medication in my attempt to treat my PE.The problem is that edging is just another term for masturbation, something that ranges from unquestionably condemned at worst to a gray area at best. I know you\u2019re not my bishop and that you\u2019re not a substitute for maintaining a prayerful relationship with God. I also know that God expects me to use every resource at my disposal, and I\u2019d consider you one of those resources!\n

Do you have any thoughts\/experience regarding masturbation being used as an exercise to improve your sexual relationship with your spouse?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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It sounds like you have received some sound advice as to treatments for premature ejaculation (PE).\u00a0 Everything you are trying and incorporating is right on track: SSRIs, kegel exercises, and controlled penile stimulation leading towards ejaculatory control.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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I assume you have had a complete physical to rule out any biological reasons that could be affecting your sexuality?\u00a0 I always recommend this be the first step when it comes to any sexual dysfunction.\u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
You could also speak with your doctor about the possibility of using an anti-anxiety medication in addition to the SSRI.\u00a0 During the initial treatment of PE I would encourage you to not be concerned about becoming dependent on medication.\u00a0 SSRIs are not known to be habit forming and you may choose to decrease your use of them as you see progress in your PE treatment and gain in confidence.\u00a0 I strongly recommend you go off your meds the same way you went on \u2013 with the oversight of your physician. \u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
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As part of a comprehensive treatment for PE, I would also encourage sensate focus exercises, relaxation exercises and sex therapy to address any psychological issues (i.e. intimacy fears, unrealistic sexual expectations, sexual anxiety, body image issues, current stressors in your life, sexual cooperation between you and your wife, communication of emotion, sexual education, family\/cultural\/religious history, possible abuse history, etc.).\u00a0 Some mental health disorders (i.e. generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc.) can exacerbate symptoms of PE \u2013 so those are important to rule in or out as well.\u00a0 A sex therapist can offer guidance in relaxation skills and formulate a treatment plan incorporating tools you and your wife are most comfortable with which fall within the bounds of your value system.\u00a0 I recommend you and your wife attend these sessions together (at least to begin with).\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

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Genital self and partner exploration exercises are encouraged <\/span>for the treatment of a variety of sexual disorders for both men and women.\u00a0 As a Mormon therapist, I am completely comfortable prescribing these types of exercises.\u00a0 <\/span>These are some reasons why:<\/span><\/div>\n