![\"42c76f_e463abe6deb540bcb43cba10943c0c81~mv2\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/153\/2018\/01\/42c76f_e463abe6deb540bcb43cba10943c0c81mv2.png\")
<\/a><\/p>\nI\u2019m currently going through a faith crisis. I am so scared to talk to anyone about my doubts or thoughts. I feel really alone and I don\u2019t want to mess up my relationships with those I love most. Why is this so hard?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Today\u2019s guest post is written by Lisa Butterworth.\u00a0Opinions shared on guest posts may not completely reflect the positions of the blog\u2019s author.<\/em><\/p>\n Lisa Butterworth, LPC, NCC<\/a>\u00a0has a masters\u00a0degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Idaho State University, primarily working with issues of relational health, faith transitions and journeys, women\u2019s issues and sexuality.\u00a0\u200bShe is the founder of the popular\u00a0Feminist Mormon\u00a0Housewives\u00a0website<\/a> and support group<\/a>\u00a0and is a provider for Symmetry Solutions.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n Ask yourself this hypothetical question: If you had to choose between being rejected by everyone you love\u2026 or losing a limb or one of your senses\u2026 which would you choose?<\/span><\/p>\n It is a horrible question and yet\u00a0gets to the heart of the kinds of pain we fear most. Being unloved\u2026 being rejected\u2026 feeling unloveable even.<\/span><\/p>\n One reason why faith transitions are painful and terrifying is because they expose a deep fear that if we change\u2026\u00a0if our beliefs change\u2026\u00a0if our faith changes\u2026\u00a0if our values change\u2026\u00a0then maybe our family, our friends, our people will not\u00a0love and accept us any more. And even deeper than that, maybe they will decide we are bad. Maybe they will see us as broken. Maybe they will judge us and come to believe that we do not\u00a0deserve to be loved or belong. Maybe we will not be allowed to participate in the group in the same ways we used to be able to.<\/span><\/p>\n Even deeper\u2026\u00a0maybe sometimes, in dark moments, we judge ourselves. Maybe we start to worry that our doubts really do make us bad. Maybe in the doubt of deity we have the\u00a0fear that an existing God\u00a0does not\u00a0love us enough to fix our faith, or fix our doubts. Or maybe we worry that we did not\u00a0try hard enough and all this turmoil is our own fault because we somehow did not\u00a0do the right things to not have this turmoil to begin with.<\/span><\/p>\n We might decide logically that this is not\u00a0true. And yet\u00a0the fear dwells there in our shadows and jumps up to hurt us when things are going badly. This fear can sometimes feel confirmed if we start to share our doubts with family and friends and in response they say judgmental,\u00a0rejecting and\/or hurtful things.<\/span><\/p>\n Another reason why faith transitions are painful is that *Certainty* and *Knowing the Truth* feel really good. Our brains are wired to give us pleasure when we figure things out. Little babies explore the world with rapt curiosity because every time they figure out how to shake the rattle or push a button to make a light come on, their brains release a little shot of pleasure hormone and it feels so great!\u00a0Knowing the Truth becomes a life-long habit of mind. For many who grow up in religious environments it is tied to a belief in God and the correlated teachings. We\u00a0are often taught from a young age that our Certainty is how we know God and how we earn our worthiness, and this knowing feels comforting.<\/span><\/p>\n The problem with Certainty is that while the pleasure,\u00a0happiness and security it\u00a0helps us feel is real, Certainty itself\u00a0is quite fragile. There may have been a time when information that did not\u00a0confirm our precious Certainty was easy to dismiss. Now something may have\u00a0shifted to\u00a0change that process. And while there is something possibly exciting and growth producing about allowing doubts and new ideas to inform us, they\u00a0do not bring us the pleasure or\u00a0the satisfying sense of having all the answers Certainty used to afford.<\/span><\/p>\n What things have made Faith Transition painful for you if this is something you have experienced?<\/span><\/p>\n Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at\u00a0natashaparker.org<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0runs an online practice,\u00a0Symmetry Solutions<\/em><\/a>, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Mormon Sex Info<\/a>\u00a0Podcasts, writes a regular column for\u00a0Sunstone Magazine<\/a>,\u00a0is the current president of the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health Association<\/a>\u00a0and runs a sex education program, Sex Talk with Natasha<\/a>. She has over 20 years of experience working with primarily an LDS\/Mormon clientele.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m currently going through a faith crisis. I am so scared to talk to anyone about my doubts or thoughts. I feel really alone and I don\u2019t want to mess up my relationships with those I love most. Why is this so hard? Today\u2019s guest post is written by Lisa Butterworth.\u00a0Opinions shared on guest posts […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":2633,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57,48,75,1],"tags":[70,9,46,92,29],"class_list":["post-2632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith-crisisfaith-transition","category-mental-health","category-relationships","category-uncategorized","tag-faith-transition","tag-grief","tag-lds","tag-mental-health","tag-mormon"],"yoast_head":"\n<\/a>