Since the libidos of men and women function very differently, I think masturbation can affect women differently than men. At least in my marriage, my husband and I are <\/span>definitely<\/span><\/span> different in what turns us on and what it takes to reach an orgasm. You said\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhen married individuals masturbate independently of their spouses, it takes away from the possibilities within the marital sexual relationship.\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m assuming you mean that if a spouse masturbates, he\/she will have less desire to have sex with his\/her spouse because that desire will have been satisfied by masturbating. On another blog about sexuality for LDS<\/span><\/span> women, there has been a lot of talk about masturbation actually INCREASING a woman\u2019s libido. As a married woman, I know in the past when I had slipped up, I had more desire to be with my husband afterwards.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n I assumed I was unique and didn\u2019t give it much thought until I read more about it recently on the LDS<\/span><\/span> women sexuality blog. Many of the women <\/span>commenters<\/span><\/span> said that masturbation (alone, not during lovemaking) has improved their libido and helped them think about sex more. I agree with one commenter that described her sex drive as \u201cuse it or lose it.\u201d Another one of the <\/span>commenters<\/span><\/span> linked to a site where a female sex therapist talked about this issue. Here\u2019s a quote from the site: \u201cI would feel guilty if I used a vibrator for self-stimulation, because I have so little desire \u2013 what I do have should be shared with my partner.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThis comment reflects a common belief that masturbation takes sexual energy away from your partner, and is therefore not good for your relationship. Two Indiana University studies just released their findings that totally contradict this belief.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIn the studies, they found that vibrator use is associated with more positive sexual function, and being more proactive about taking care of one\u2019s sexual health.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u2014\u2014\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n Assuming that both spouses are aware and approving of the practice, and that thoughts are directed towards the spouse (like past sexual encounters with spouse) what do you think of the idea that, FOR WOMEN, masturbation can improve their drive and their overall intimacy with their husband?<\/em><\/p>\n Since the libidos of men and women function very differently, I think masturbation can affect women differently than men. At least in my marriage, my husband and I are definitely different in what turns us on and what it takes to reach an orgasm. You said\u2026 \u201cWhen married individuals masturbate independently of their spouses, it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,22,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","category-masturbation","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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\n\u201cDallas Sex Therapist Lauren Jordan hears this all the time from women she works with:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
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\nFor the past 3 years my husband and I have made greater strides in strengthening our sexual relationship. We have been married 16 years.
\nOver the years our lack of sex was always sort of a relief. I had lots of pain with sex after my first child. I didn\u2019t care about sex, and thought that was how most married couples felt. Now I\u2019m getting older, and I realize that I never enjoyed it, because I never had enough clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. I thought that hot passionate sex was what \u201cworldly people\u201d had. I know that sounds crazy, but my parents never talked about sex, and I never had any sisters or anyone that ever talked about sex with me. My husband was pretty sheltered as well.
\nI started to do Kegal exercises to strengthen my PC muscles and also began to do some \u201cself stimulation\u201d to help my body discover what kind on stimulation it likes. This was very difficult for me, as I\u2019ve always felt that it is wrong to self stimulate. I\u2019m starting to realize that the body has to learn how to have an orgasm, so I\u2019m a little more comfortable with the idea that this has been a necessary step for me, to help strengthen our physical relationship.
\nMy question for you is this. My husband and I spend 3-4 night a week apart from each other because of his job. My body is in an awakening stage. I like and want sex, more than ever before, but because of the distance and time issues, we only have love making session a few times a month at best. (It has been 1 1\/2 months since our last love making session.) I want more than this. I have expressed this several times. It seems to cause contention. He does not initiate sex very often. He has ED issues which he can take medication for, and takes hormone replacement therapy for low testosterone. What do you suggest I do about it. Would continuing to masturbate on days that he is gone help to satisfy that need, or would this be causing damage to our relationship. He knows about my self stimulation and is happy I\u2019m doing it, because I am more responsive to him now.<\/span>Aside from these issues we have always had a respectful, happy, loving marriage. I want very much to take our relationship to an even better level. I realize there is no quick fix for any of these issues. I appreciate your time to help others. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/div>\n
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