I very much appreciate Blaire Ostler\u2019s balanced words in regards to the changes we have seen happen recently in the temple for women. The changes are vastly positive and yet, not comprehensive. The pain of many paved the way towards these changes. Some of which we have lost to our tribe along the way. And\u2026many will benefit and rejoice, rightfully so. The process of change is complex in our culture. How we talk about it\u2026 the stories we create around it\u2026and too often, we silence many unnecessarily. I give my \u201camen\u201d to Sister Ostler. \u00a0And I validate the mixed feelings the poster mentions. May we be gentle in how we manage the reactions of these changes.<\/span><\/p>\n You can get more of my thoughts on the changes, as well as several other mental health providers, on\u00a0the interview I did on\u00a0Mormon Mental Health Podcast:<\/span><\/p>\n https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mormonmentalhealth\/videos\/512993269207201\/<\/a><\/p>\n Today\u2019s guest post is written by Blaire Ostler.\u00a0Opinions shared on guest posts may not completely reflect the positions of the blog\u2019s author.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n There is a reoccurring pattern in the Mormon community<\/a> that when the First Presidency announces a progressive change there are two common responses:<\/span><\/p>\n Group 1: \u201cYay, look at this! Isn\u2019t this great?! Things are getting better. My concerns were addressed. Let us rejoice!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Group 2: \u201cAre you kidding me? This is barely even a drop in the bucket. We aren\u2019t even close to where we need to be. I\u2019m still being marginalized. Who will weep with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n So far as I\u2019m concerned, both reactions are legitimate, and we do well to leave room for both expressions and everything in between.<\/span><\/p>\n As for Group 1, it\u2019s perfectly reasonable to want to celebrate. One drop in the bucket is still one drop in the bucket. Metaphorically speaking, buckets aren\u2019t usually filled with firehoses.\u00a0 Firehoses are too powerful to actually fill the bucket. Water will just spray back in your face. The bucket is more likely to get damaged or injure someone than get filled. Buckets usually get filled by a steady faucet. So yes, one drop in the bucket is certainly worth celebrating, so long as it doesn\u2019t lead to complacency about filling up the whole bucket. I\u2019ll celebrate the temple changes with you to provoke and inspire further improvement for the rest of us. Don\u2019t forget, while the temple changes are great for a lot of heterosexual cisgender women, this does very little for queer women.<\/span><\/p>\n As for Group 2, I get that one drop isn\u2019t enough to fill the bucket. Full disclosure, I want to see all genders ordained. I want to see trans, non-binary, intersex, and queer people worshiping in the temple according to their gender identity. I want to see homosexual sealings available in the temple. I want to see plural sealings available to all consenting adults independent of their gender identity. I want to see God being portrayed in the temple as a queer woman of color. So no, this one drop in the bucket is not nearly enough for me. However, we can\u2019t forget that one drop in the bucket is still one drop closer to queer inclusion.<\/span><\/p>\n If you feel like rejoicing, I support you.<\/span><\/p>\n If you feel like weeping, I support you too.<\/span><\/p>\n We need to leave room for people who are rejoicing and for people who are weeping. This is what it means to weep with those that weep, and rejoice with those that rejoice. As a community, we must paradoxically learn to weep and rejoice at the same time. Even though I am not perfect at it, this is the goal.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at\u00a0natashaparker.org<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0runs an online practice,\u00a0Symmetry Solutions<\/strong><\/em><\/a>, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Mormon Sex Info<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0Podcasts, is the current president of the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health Association<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and runs a sex education program,\u00a0Sex Talk with Natasha<\/strong><\/a>. She has over 20 years of experience<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am having a hard time celebrating the changes the Church has made in regards to temple ordinances and women. On the one hand it\u2019s long overdue and it will be much more palatable for new women going in for the first time. On the other hand I feel like all the pain I felt […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":4063,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82,158,43],"tags":[46,101,29,47,110],"class_list":["post-4057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender-identity","category-gender-roles","category-temple-issues","tag-lds","tag-lgbt","tag-mormon","tag-mormonism","tag-womens-issues"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/153\/2019\/03\/26850449_1996675610552882_3848300377186401678_o-279x213.jpg\")
\u00a0<\/em>Blaire Ostler<\/em><\/strong> is a philosopher and leading voice at the intersection of queer, Mormon, and transhumanist thought. She is a board member and former CEO of the Mormon Transhumanist Association, the world\u2019s largest advocacy network for the ethical use of technology and religion to expand human abilities. She presents and writes on many forums, and speaks at conferences promoting authentic Mormonism<\/a>. Blaire holds a degree in design from the International Academy of Design and Technology-Seattle. She is currently pursuing a second degree in philosophy with an emphasis in gender studies. She is also an artist,\u00a0and spends her spare time hiking, painting, writing, and bickering with her friends about almost any topic imaginable.\u00a0Blaire and husband Drew reside in Utah with their three children.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n