I have known Mary for several years now, have presented with her, have attended her presentations and I just love her style, her approach and her expertise. Here she speaks of the importance of having grace for each other as men and women in regards to the very common experience of male pleasure being prioritized or experienced at higher rates than women\u2019s. Although I know masturbation is a sensitive topic in our culture, I\u2019ve written about my positions on this before. Instead of seeing one particular sexual act as \u201cbad\u201d or \u201cgood,\u201d the better approach is whether or not the act helps us as a couple edify our relationship, experience more pleasure together\u2026 or not. I\u2019ve worked with many LDS women who, in honesty and openness with their husbands, used masturbation as a tool to get to know themselves better, to become orgasmic, and then to transfer that information to coupled sexuality. Sometimes they are more comfortable if the husband participates in the stimulation process from the beginning. Other times, they would rather not have the pressure of another person and would prefer privacy. Yet the end goal remains the same\u2026 increased couple enjoyment and intimacy. Another resource Mary doesn\u2019t mention here is omgyes.com<\/a>. I also suggest the podcast I did on Mormon Sex Info called,\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWomen\u2019s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure\u201d with Sheri Winston (Episode 83)<\/a>\u00a0which is available for free.<\/p>\n Today\u2019s guest post is written by Mary Fisher.\u00a0Opinions shared on guest posts may not completely reflect the positions of the blog\u2019s author.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Public Service Announcement:<\/strong><\/p>\n A Woman\u2019s Erection Needs 20-30 Minutes of Adequate Clitoral Stimulation<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cBack in the seventies, Masters and Johnson\u2019s research demonstrated that all orgasms were the result of some form of direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. Kinsey agreed before them as did many ancient cultures. Unfortunately many Americans remain influenced by Freud\u2019s ridiculous theory that vaginal orgasms are superior, an idea that took hold during the Victorian age of extreme sexual repression. It\u2019s kept alive today by organized religions and what some men prefer: a quick f*ck similar to masturbating inside a vagina.\u201d Betty Dodson<\/p>\n [While Freud had some sound, timelessly insightful ideas, the \u201cvaginal orgasm\u201d is harmful nonsense. (I don\u2019t agree with drive theory, either, but that\u2019s a different post).]<\/p>\n After asking some questions on facebook about this topic, I received many comments and questions and I assume they are representative of the way many others feel:<\/p>\n They mostly represented anger toward men for not being more knowledgeable, and some shame from women about not being more knowledgeable about their own bodies. This is such a tender, vulnerable issue. We think we should just know, but why would we? Most of us didn\u2019t grow up talking about sex around the dinner table, but instead our assumptions were shaped by inaccurate implied myths about how sexual pleasure works. This is true for men and women. And while there are surely some malevolent men \u201cout there\u201d who do not care about their partners\u2019 pleasure, the vast majority of men care very much. They are simply having sex in the way most people know how to have sex; the lack of and misinformation, we come by it honorably. And we are in this together, so my advice for women is to develop a solid sexual relationship with yourself, learn about your own body and pleasure, and then, if you choose, instruct your partner(s) on what you\u2019ve learned about your pleasure, and know that what is pleasurable to you, and what is pleasurable to your partner, may be quite different.\u00a0\u00a0Betty Dodson\u2019s other articles and videos are also highly informative. Check \u2018em out:\u00a0www.dodsonandross.com<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at\u00a0natashaparker.org<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0runs an online practice,\u00a0Symmetry Solutions<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Mormon Sex Info<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0Podcasts, is the current past-president of the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health Association<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and runs a sex education program,\u00a0Sex Talk with Natasha<\/strong><\/a>. She has over 20 years of experience working with primarily an LDS\/Mormon clientele.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n I have known Mary for several years now, have presented with her, have attended her presentations and I just love her style, her approach and her expertise. Here she speaks of the importance of having grace for each other as men and women in regards to the very common experience of male pleasure being prioritized […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":4291,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,22,16,1,80],"tags":[90,115,108,30,110],"class_list":["post-4279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage","category-masturbation","category-sexuality","category-uncategorized","category-womens-issues","tag-masturbation","tag-relationships","tag-sex-ed","tag-sexuality-2","tag-womens-issues"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/153\/2019\/03\/23415556_128545124481926_4579090593595746433_o-279x213.jpg\")
Mary Fisher has been practicing psychotherapy since 2006. She earned her master\u2019s degree in counseling at Gonzaga University in 2005. She deepened her education by\u00a0training at the Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy Clinic at The Utah Neuropsychiatric Institute with treatment refractory\u00a0patients, The University of Utah Counseling Center with students and faculty, and The Children\u2019s Center, where she focused on the treatment of very young children and parent-child pairs. Mary is also trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples and focuses her marital work on mixed faith couples, LGBTQ couples, and partners in consensually non-monogamous relationships. Mary is a member of the American Association of\u00a0Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).\u00a0Visit Mary\u2019s website\u00a0\u00a0www.smart-emotion.org<\/a>\u00a0 for more information.<\/em><\/p>\n
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