{"id":460,"date":"2009-07-07T13:08:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-07T13:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves\/"},"modified":"2012-09-24T22:27:27","modified_gmt":"2012-09-25T03:27:27","slug":"members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html","title":{"rendered":"Members should find solutions and answers themselves&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><em><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\">In regards to <\/span><\/span><\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/mormontherapist.blogspot.com\/2009\/06\/solo-is-not-huge-sin.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\">seeking counsel from the bishop or stake president<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\">, the Church handbook says that \u201cmembers should make a diligent effort, including earnest prayer and scripture study, to find solutions and answers themselves.\u201d What may be okay for one member may not be for another. That doesn\u2019t mean the core principles don\u2019t apply to each member, it just means that the adherence to a principle can be manifested in infinitely varying ways.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>For example, Nephi<span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> felt compelled by the Spirit to cut off Laban\u2019s head to preserve the scriptures. Could that principle, namely the preservation<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> of God\u2019s word, been fulfilled by other less \u201cfatal\u201d means? Probably. Does that make Nephi\u2019s<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> action sinful? Absolutely not.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I think the key with issues of sexuality is finding what the principle is that needs to be promoted and then choosing a behavior that best promotes that principle<span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\">. For example in marriage, an important core principle of sexuality is that it should powerfully bond the husband and wife. Can masturbation<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> help achieve that end? I\u2019d say the answer is it\u2019s up to those involved. For a single person, <\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"blsp-spelling-corrected\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\">perhaps<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> one of the principles regarding sexuality is to choose behavior that best prepares for a healthy sexual relationship<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> in marriage. For the youth, the Church encourages them to abstain from masturbation<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> and believes that to be the best route for honoring the principle of healthy sexual intimacy in marriage. I think it\u2019s possible, however, that outside the youth, singles may find circumstances<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> where masturbation<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> could promote the eventual goal of healthy sexuality in marriage. Again, it\u2019s up to the individual. For someone who has lost a spouse, maybe masturbation<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> is a healthy way to remember and preserve past feelings of sexual intimacy with their spouse. I\u2019m not arguing that\u2019s always the case, my point is just that God\u2019s core principles \u2014 those that deal with our relationships<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"> with others and with God \u2014 can be fulfilled through many different manifestations <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"><em>and behaviors. I think that\u2019s one of the reasons different members receive different counsel.<\/em> <\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><br>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #336666;\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"><br>\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\">I appreciate your comments and well written response. I agree that there are many different situations and stages of the developmental<\/span><\/span><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-family: 'times new roman';\"><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: small;\"> cycle. And although gospel teachings apply to all, HOW those gospel teachings apply are incredibly personal and sacred to each individual. This is why the core beliefs we have regarding personal revelation, proper stewardship and being non-judgmental of others are all key concepts to leading a life that leads each individual down the path of becoming closer to God.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In regards to seeking counsel from the bishop or stake president, the Church handbook says that \u201cmembers should make a diligent effort, including earnest prayer and scripture study, to find solutions and answers themselves.\u201d What may be okay for one member may not be for another. That doesn\u2019t mean the core principles don\u2019t apply to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Members should find solutions and answers themselves...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In regards to seeking counsel from the bishop or stake president, the Church handbook says that &quot;members should make a diligent effort, including earnest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Members should find solutions and answers themselves...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In regards to seeking counsel from the bishop or stake president, the Church handbook says that &quot;members should make a diligent effort, including earnest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Mormon Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-07-07T13:08:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-09-25T03:27:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Natasha Helfer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Natasha Helfer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html\",\"name\":\"Members should find solutions and answers themselves...\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-07-07T13:08:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-09-25T03:27:27+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/78971842fa93736d2376df2cd2ea8f54\"},\"description\":\"In regards to seeking counsel from the bishop or stake president, the Church handbook says that \\\"members should make a diligent effort, including earnest\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/members-should-find-solutions-and-answers-themselves.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Members should find solutions and answers themselves&#8230;\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/\",\"name\":\"The Mormon Therapist\",\"description\":\"A safe, confidential &quot;advice column&quot; 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