{"id":465,"date":"2009-07-01T15:54:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-01T15:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/how-far-is-too-far\/"},"modified":"2009-07-01T15:54:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-01T15:54:00","slug":"how-far-is-too-far","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/07\/how-far-is-too-far.html","title":{"rendered":"How far is too far?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Okay I\u2019m just gonna ask, at the risk of you feeling like I have just ignored everything you just wrote.<\/a> And I am not even sure that you are the right person to ask, but seeing that this topic is being addressed here, here goes\u2026. so often I am in a group of LDS girlfriends and the topic of Sex always comes up. I am sure that we are an odd group at best, these are always the same questions\/comments. \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d and my favorite \u201cmy husband wants to get a little nasty\u201d(which I would love to find out what nasty means, because in our prudish culture is probably what others do on a first date.). I\u2019ve been with Non LDS women and have had to leave, as they swapped stories, and things to try. My age group is 30plus and we all remember the council from Church leadership (I can\u2019t pinpoint this at the moment) eons ago where it was strongly encouraged that we not participate in oral sex, even in marriage.\u00a0
I think it\u2019s funny that we are so programed by this (myself included), but what quick answer would you give us in these situations as girlfriends sitting around.\u00a0
Thanks! And I love your Blog!!!!\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n


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Thanks for your complimentary comments and your great questions. \u00a0I think it is important and a good sign that you are able to have an outlet with other LDS women (and also non-LDS women) to discuss sexuality. \u00a0As long as this is done in a respectful fashion, especially where the spouse is concerned, I believe it can be a place where our own biases, myths, and misconceptions can be challenged and even dispelled. \u00a0It can also be a place where we stand by our convictions and realize others may be comfortable with things one is not. \u00a0Regardless, it will be a learning opportunity. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
I\u2019m not sure what you are referring to regarding official church council regarding oral sex within marriage (maybe others will know and write in). \u00a0I am not aware of anything being said of the subject by any recent leaders. I have previously asked this specific question of several bishops I have had. \u00a0All have responded similarly with it being up to the couple in question. \u00a0I believe oral sex can be one of the many ways a couple can show love to one another and forge an even deeper level of intimacy. \u00a0For some women, it can be an easier way to achieve orgasm. \u00a0However, some are not comfortable with this sexual style and should not feel coerced or forced into it. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
As far as \u201cgetting nasty\u201d, this can have very many definitions for different people. \u00a0Rather than use the term \u201cnasty\u201d which implies \u201cdirty\u201d or \u201cwrong,\u201d I\u2019d like to discuss the ability of becoming more direct and\/or aggressive in our level of communication. Sometimes men can find themselves being the main pursuer of sexual relations. \u00a0It can be exciting and wonderful for them to have their wives switch that role and pursue them at times. \u00a0Talking is always a way to appropriately spice things up. \u00a0My intention in writing the following is not to be inappropriate or offend, only to serve as educator. \u00a0 All of the following could be fun and playful things for women to say:\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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