{"id":466,"date":"2009-06-30T11:42:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-30T11:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/06\/shame-and-guilt-are-not-the-same-thing-right\/"},"modified":"2009-06-30T11:42:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-30T11:42:00","slug":"shame-and-guilt-are-not-the-same-thing-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/06\/shame-and-guilt-are-not-the-same-thing-right.html","title":{"rendered":"Shame and guilt are not the same thing, right?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

So much good thought <\/span><\/span>here<\/span><\/span><\/a>. Thanks for all you are doing.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Not that I\u2019m a therapist, but I quibble a bit with the notion that the gospel is never about guilt. Shame and guilt are not the same thing, right? Prophets have taught that guilt can be to the spirit what pain is to the body, as when a hand is on a hot stove. Shame that makes us want to hide is another story, and is not from God.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s important not to shy away completely from the guilt that can be productive and spirit-directed, and to keep a clarity about the fruits of shame vs. the potentially good fruits of guilt that turns one to God.\u00a0<\/p>\n


<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
Thank you for your kind words. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
I assume you are referring to my writing the following the statement:\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0It is important to remember that gospel teachings are ALWAYS meant to increase happiness \u2013 not guilt.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
I stand by my statement in that gospel teachings are meant to show us the way towards happy, fulfilling lives \u2013 they are not MEANT to produce guilt. \u00a0However, gospel teachings give us a heads up that guilt and shame are likely consequences<\/span> of not following gospel teachings and\/or breaking commandments<\/span>. \u00a0In other words, these feelings are consequences<\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
The definition of shame goes as follows (freedictionary<\/span>.com<\/a>):<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a01. <\/span>a.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment<\/span>, unworthiness<\/span>, or disgrace.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
b.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>Capacity for such a feeling:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Have you no shame?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
2.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation<\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
3.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
4.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>A great disappointment<\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

The definition of guilt:<\/span><\/div>\n
\n
1. <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>a.\u00a0<\/span><\/b>The fact of being responsible for the commission of an offense.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p><\/span><\/span>\n

b.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>Law<\/span><\/span><\/i>\u00a0The fact of having been found to have violated a criminal law; legal culpability.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
c.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>Responsibility<\/span> for a mistake or error.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
2. <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/b>a.\u00a0<\/span><\/b>Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong.<\/span>\n
b.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/b>Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
I am in agreement with you regarding the benefits regarding both guilt and shame. \u00a0There are definitely times when our behaviors\/actions\/thoughts necessitate these feelings. \u00a0If I\u2019m having an affair on my spouse, there should be shame and\/or guilt involved. \u00a0The same with many other more serious sins. \u00a0However, both guilt and shame are not meant to be places where we stay for a long time. \u00a0Rather they are tools in a sense, to be used as motivators to head us towards repentance and in different, more positive directions. Wallowing in guilt and\/or shame can be detrimental in fact, to our moving forward. \u00a0My main concern with these feelings have to do when they are inappropriately<\/span> or exaggeratedly<\/span> felt. \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
I recently wrote a<\/span><\/span> post <\/span><\/span><\/a>regarding this same topic. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So much good thought here. Thanks for all you are doing. Not that I\u2019m a therapist, but I quibble a bit with the notion that the gospel is never about guilt. Shame and guilt are not the same thing, right? Prophets have taught that guilt can be to the spirit what pain is to the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nShame and guilt are not the same thing, right?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So much good thought here. 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