{"id":476,"date":"2009-06-24T12:27:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-24T12:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/06\/i-think-our-sexual-stewardship-is-up-to-us\/"},"modified":"2009-06-24T12:27:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-24T12:27:00","slug":"i-think-our-sexual-stewardship-is-up-to-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2009\/06\/i-think-our-sexual-stewardship-is-up-to-us.html","title":{"rendered":"I think our sexual stewardship is up to us…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Thanks for a great post<\/a> and great comments. My DW and I had a great conversation the other evening about this very idea, that so many LDS (and other) folks want to know what the \u201crules\u201d are: where the lines are. If there is a rule, we\u2019re determined to try to follow it, but we need to know what the rule is. (We must seem almost frantic to Natasha and other professionals when we clamor to know whether what we\u2019re doing or are thinking about doing are \u201cokay.\u201d)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

On the issues of intimacy in marriage, the quote from the Parent\u2019s Guide is often quoted. Unfortunately, the word \u201cunnatural\u201d isn\u2019t defined (there I go, seeking the \u201crule\u201d again). However, it is followed by the following paragraph:<\/p>\n

\u201cBoth husbands and wives have physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs associated with this sacred act. They will be able to complement each other in the marriage relationship if they give tender, considerate attention to these needs of their partner. Each should seek to fulfill the other\u2019s needs rather than to use this highly significant relationship merely to satisfy his or her own passion.\u201d<\/p>\n

Many of the things on the topic of intimacy in marriage I have seen point to the idea of fulfilling the needs of the other partner, rather than for selfish satisfactions. To that end, it seems to me, as I interpreted Natasha\u2019s post to say, that if both parties in the couple are open and willing to try something and neither feels pressured to do something, certain acts (including those discussed in the post) would be \u201cokay\u201d within marriage.<\/p>\n

I agree with the comment that there are a lot of people who are determined to set the \u201crules\u201d and announce them to others. But absent a declaration from the Church, I don\u2019t think that such folks have a stewardship over my marriage and relationship. I do, and my wife does, so I think it\u2019s up to us.\u00a0<\/p>\n


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Thank you for your comments. \u00a0I love the gospel teaching of \u201cstewardship,\u201d and how we are clearly guided in our understanding of \u00a0what we should have stewardship over (i.e. church callings, family duties, personal progress, etc.) and what we should not (i.e. other people\u2019s church callings, other people\u2019s families, other people\u2019s personal progress). \u00a0I agree wholeheartedly with the fact that each couple has the stewardship and responsibility to lovingly and respectfully define its sexual boundaries and comfort zones with one another within their relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. \u00a0This is a very personal venture meant to bond spouses to each other without the meddling of other\u2019s unsolicited opinions or judgments causing doubts or problems. \u00a0We can ask for opinions and guidance along the way when we need help from appropriate sources, but ultimately the responsibility lies within the couplehood. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
I don\u2019t want anyone worrying about seeming frantic or inappropriate when asking these types of questions. \u00a0I understand the need and desire to be worthy members of the church of Jesus Christ. \u00a0And when things are not specifically spelled out, it leads to questions and differing interpretations (this can happen even when things ARE specifically spelled out). \u00a0That is why open, direct and safe communication regarding these topics is so important. \u00a0This is also why it is important to understand the balance Heavenly Father offers us between giving us guidance and allowing us to use our given talents, intellect and resources to figure things out. \u00a0In wanting us to learn and grow for ourselves, He does not give us all answers as clearly as we would sometimes like. \u00a0Anyone who is a parent can understand this teaching concept well. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
On a side note: could you educate me on the chatting lingo being used such as \u201cDW.\u201d \u00a0I\u2019m obviously behind the times on this aspect. \u00a0\ud83d\ude42 \u00a0Thank you!<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanks for a great post and great comments. My DW and I had a great conversation the other evening about this very idea, that so many LDS (and other) folks want to know what the \u201crules\u201d are: where the lines are. If there is a rule, we\u2019re determined to try to follow it, but we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nI think our sexual stewardship is up to us...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Thanks for a great post and great comments. 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