{"id":4958,"date":"2019-05-14T10:00:14","date_gmt":"2019-05-14T15:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/?p=4958"},"modified":"2019-05-14T09:36:14","modified_gmt":"2019-05-14T14:36:14","slug":"supporting-my-wifes-journey-outside-the-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/05\/supporting-my-wifes-journey-outside-the-church.html","title":{"rendered":"Supporting my Wife’s Journey Outside the Church"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"I very much appreciated these thoughts from a believing spouse and his reactions to President Nelson\u2019s recent talk discussing eternal families. The way he speaks about his wife and how he chooses to frame doctrinal teachings prioritizes relational health and allows for the humility of the \u201cunknown.\u201d Meaning, we don\u2019t have everything figured out about the afterlife and we shouldn\u2019t treat families experiencing diversity in their beliefs like we do. These are the types of perspectives I hope many of us adopt so we can experience intimacy with others who are different from us, instead of hard-line perspectives that tend to separate and \u201cother\u201d us in ways that have implications (even subconsciously).<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s guest post\u00a0 was written by Matt Harward.\u00a0 Opinions shared on guest posts may not completely reflect the positions of the blog\u2019s author.<\/em><\/p>\n

Matt Harward\u00a0and Tricia, his wife of 25 years, live in Austin TX with their four kids, a dog and 16 chickens. Matt is partner in a software consulting firm, and enjoys reading, time with family, TX barbecue, and driving fast.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"\"This week, I heard of rumors about my mixed faith family that hurt and were both false and unkind. As I wrestle with the middle way and find there are few people who walk there, it can be lonely. But just because it is less traveled and less certain than it was before does not make it lost.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I am a believing member of the church, but I believe that God\u2019s plan of grace covers the earnest and honest efforts of my wife\u2019s journey outside the church. I believe that just like me, she continues to be led to do what is right and that she continues to follow the truths that live for her \u2013 all of which I also believe and cherish. We agree still on far more than we disagree on.<\/span><\/p>\n

I do not think that God wants her to be miserable and to feel less than her greatest self. I believe that her path is not lost and that even though it is unfamiliar to me that does not mean that God doesn\u2019t see it and knows just how to guide her from where she is.<\/span><\/p>\n

I believe that as I do my best to love, to lift, to do good, to be humble, to learn and to trust that God knows what I do not, then I can let go of what I cannot control and focus on being what I can be today.<\/span><\/p>\n

None of these things have changed for me since my wife\u2019s faith perspective has shifted. They were true for me before and they are true for me now.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am still whole. My children are still safe. My path and purpose and potential are the same. My marriage is sacred and eternal to me and I choose to honor it \u2013 which includes lifting and joyfully living where I stand. And I stand by my wife.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is part of our journey and so I choose to enjoy the ride. We are that we might have joy. What a gift to find it in unexpected but beautiful places. I believe in, and look forward to a joyful life after this one \u2013 and I also choose to make this life a heaven now.<\/span><\/p>\n

Love and prayers to each of you today. It is a gift to walk this road with you. I\u2019m grateful.<\/span><\/p>\n

-Matt Harward<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at\u00a0natashaparker.org<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0runs an online practice,\u00a0Symmetry Solutions<\/strong><\/em><\/a>, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Mormon Sex Info<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0Podcasts, is the current past-president of the\u00a0Mormon Mental Health Association<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and runs a sex education program,\u00a0Sex Talk with Natasha<\/strong><\/a>. She has over 20 years of experience working with primarily an LDS\/Mormon clientele.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I very much appreciated these thoughts from a believing spouse and his reactions to President Nelson\u2019s recent talk discussing eternal families. 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