{"id":5631,"date":"2019-08-29T11:00:43","date_gmt":"2019-08-29T16:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/?p=5631"},"modified":"2019-08-26T18:52:33","modified_gmt":"2019-08-26T23:52:33","slug":"dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html","title":{"rendered":"Dear Elder Hathaway… your remarks are inexcusable…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time\u2026 I have to call it out\u2026<\/p>\n

Speeches like Elder Hathaway\u2019s are what continue to keep suicide risk high. It\u2019s inexcusable\u2026 it\u2019s mean spirited\u2026 it\u2019s uneducated\u2026 and at this point it\u2019s flat out embarrassing. I\u2019ll keep saying it until it changes and our LGBTQ+ members are safe within our own ranks.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s guest post is written by Blaire Ostler.\u00a0Opinions shared on guest posts may not completely reflect the positions of the blog\u2019s author.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"\u00a0<\/em>Blaire Ostler<\/em><\/strong> is a philosopher and leading voice at the intersection of queer, Mormon, and transhumanist thought. She is a board member and former CEO of the Mormon Transhumanist Association, the world\u2019s largest advocacy network for the ethical use of technology and religion to expand human abilities. She presents and writes on many forums, and speaks at conferences promoting authentic Mormonism<\/a>. Blaire holds a degree in design from the International Academy of Design and Technology-Seattle. She is currently pursuing a second degree in philosophy with an emphasis in gender studies. She is also an artist,\u00a0and spends her spare time hiking, painting, writing, and bickering with her friends about almost any topic imaginable.\u00a0Blaire and husband Drew reside in Utah with their three children.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Elder Hathaway,<\/span><\/p>\n

There seems to be a misunderstanding that you think you get to label my sexual orientation. I get to label my sexual orientation and I do not \u201cstruggle with same gender attraction\u201d as you put it. My orientation is not my struggle. My struggle is dealing with other\u2019s inability to see my queerness as something divine and part of my heavenly attributes.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s hypocritical of you to call me something other than what I have asked you to call me. President Nelson has asked that we refer to the Church as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints<\/a> and to refer to members as Latter-day Saints. I have kindly obliged to that request because I think it\u2019s important for labels to be respected. I only wish our leaders reciprocated the same courtesy to their LGBTQ+ congregates.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re worried about the \u201cacceptance\u201d of my orientation, that\u2019s fair. You should be. I legitimize myself and everyday more and more Latter-day Saints are legitimizing me as a worthy member of the Heavenly Family. If your goal is to mold me into a caricature that resembles your version of a heavenly being you will be met with resistance. Why? Because I have a personal witness of my queer divinity and no one can take that away from me. The linguistical tactics of a patriarch will not deter me from the work I am called to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sincerely, a queer Mormon sister<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at\u00a0<\/i>natashaparker.org<\/i><\/b><\/a>\u00a0and runs an online practice,\u00a0<\/i>Symmetry Solutions<\/i><\/b><\/a>, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the\u00a0<\/i>Mormon Mental Health<\/i><\/b><\/a>\u00a0and Mormon Sex Info<\/a> <\/strong>Podcasts, is the current past president of the\u00a0<\/i>Mormon Mental Health Association<\/i><\/b><\/a>\u00a0and runs a sex education program,\u00a0<\/i>Sex Talk with Natasha<\/i><\/b><\/a>. She has over 20 years of experience working with primarily an LDS\/Mormon clientele.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time\u2026 I have to call it out\u2026 Speeches like Elder Hathaway\u2019s are what continue to keep suicide risk high. It\u2019s inexcusable\u2026 it\u2019s mean spirited\u2026 it\u2019s uneducated\u2026 and at this point it\u2019s flat out embarrassing. I\u2019ll keep saying it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":766,"featured_media":5640,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57,45,15,214,16,43,1],"tags":[202,211,243,30,237],"class_list":["post-5631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith-crisisfaith-transition","category-gospel-teachings","category-homosexuality","category-lgbtq-2","category-sexuality","category-temple-issues","category-uncategorized","tag-faith-crisis","tag-lgbtq","tag-sexual-orientation","tag-sexuality-2","tag-temple-issues"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time... I have to call it out...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time... I have to call it out...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Mormon Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-08-29T16:00:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-08-26T23:52:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/153\/2019\/08\/4k-wallpaper-artsy-close-up-1173576-e1566596263143.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"461\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Natasha Helfer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Natasha Helfer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html\",\"name\":\"Dear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-08-29T16:00:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-08-26T23:52:33+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/78971842fa93736d2376df2cd2ea8f54\"},\"description\":\"Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time... I have to call it out...\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Dear Elder Hathaway… your remarks are inexcusable…\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/\",\"name\":\"The Mormon Therapist\",\"description\":\"A safe, confidential "advice column" to get your questions answered.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/78971842fa93736d2376df2cd2ea8f54\",\"name\":\"Natasha Helfer\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85a797b548b6d0665ff186fb58c34aa3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85a797b548b6d0665ff186fb58c34aa3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Natasha Helfer\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/natashaparker.org\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/author\/natashaparker\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...","description":"Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time... I have to call it out...","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...","og_description":"Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time... I have to call it out...","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html","og_site_name":"The Mormon Therapist","article_published_time":"2019-08-29T16:00:43+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-08-26T23:52:33+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":461,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/153\/2019\/08\/4k-wallpaper-artsy-close-up-1173576-e1566596263143.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Natasha Helfer","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Natasha Helfer","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html","name":"Dear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#website"},"datePublished":"2019-08-29T16:00:43+00:00","dateModified":"2019-08-26T23:52:33+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/78971842fa93736d2376df2cd2ea8f54"},"description":"Powerful self advocacy. LDS leaders are perpetrating hate speech towards LGBTQ+ members and for the hundred thousandth time... I have to call it out...","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/2019\/08\/dear-elder-hathaway-your-remarks-are-inexcusable.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dear Elder Hathaway… your remarks are inexcusable…"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/","name":"The Mormon Therapist","description":"A safe, confidential "advice column" to get your questions answered.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/78971842fa93736d2376df2cd2ea8f54","name":"Natasha Helfer","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85a797b548b6d0665ff186fb58c34aa3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/85a797b548b6d0665ff186fb58c34aa3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Natasha Helfer"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/natashaparker.org"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/author\/natashaparker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5631","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/766"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5631"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5631\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/mormontherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}