Photo by Saad on Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nI\u2019m not sorry; it must be said\u2026<\/p>\n
In the Muslim community, we have a marriage crisis to say the least, and for some odd reason, the blame is always placed on women. We are too old, too fat, too skinny, too successful, too tall (what the\u2026?), too dark, too \u2018something\u2019\u2026But I\u2019m here to say, this is absolutely ridiculous. We need to change our language around marriage and keep in mind that there are two people to the equation.<\/p>\n
Age<\/h3>\n
We need to\u00a0acknowledge that we live under\u00a0an allusion that the older a woman grows, the less desirable she becomes. This is garbage. I get it, her eggs are getting old, but a woman younger than 45 years old is not going through menopause. Also, how hypocritical is it that a man who is 30 is at his prime, yet if a woman\u00a0is 30, there\u2019s got to be something wrong with her. Hey, 31-year-old Ahmad, I promise, the sister who is closer to your age is perfectly fine. I promise, marrying someone who you can relate to will do no harm. I also promise that an older woman is not\u00a0defective.<\/p>\n
Education<\/h3>\n
\u201cSister, you should have focused more on getting married than on your studies.\u201d I don\u2019t know any woman who goes into higher education in order to not get married. What are we supposed to do? Sit at home and wait for \u2018Abdullah\u2019 to show up at the door? You might be a skeleton by the time he decides to show up. Why are we blaming women for bettering themselves?<\/p>\n
Intimidation<\/h3>\n
Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. If a woman intimidates you, maybe you need to work on yourself. It\u2019s not her fault that you feel inferior. And why are you intimidated again?<\/p>\n
A Woman Is Not a Prize<\/h3>\n
This might come as a surprise, brothers, but \u201ckeeping pure\u201d and not fornicating is not to be awarded. It\u2019s like the 5 prayers. I\u2019m not\u00a0going to pat you on the back for doing it, and this idea that you deserve an award for doing your Islamic duty is garbage. That you should be awarded with the prize of a woman is garbage. And basing the value of this \u201cprize\u201d on unrealistic beauty standards is garbage. And if we want to play the prize game, show up to the party with the same standards you\u2019re asking for.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour Standards Are Too High\u201d<\/h3>\n
If a woman wanting someone who prays, has good manners, and respects\u00a0her is high standards, we are at the end of times. But I question, because \u2018Ibrahim\u2019 can have a laundry list of physical requirements that will be validated, yet a sister who doesn\u2019t want to marry someone who is not religious or educated\u00a0is called picky. Interesting. Wanting a Beyonc\u00e9\/Khadija (ra)\/whatever is validated but wanting someone who tries to live in the light of the Prophet (saws) is asking too much. Again, interesting garbage.<\/p>\n
So Here Is the Solution\u2026<\/h3>\n
We need to change our language and not validate these idiotic clauses for marriage. This is just not the way it\u2019s supposed to be. This is wrong and women need to be respected. We need to change our language.<\/p>\n
Ladies, I\u2019m going through it too \u2014 sifting through garbage to find the one. We will find the one, Allah will take care of it. It will not be easy, trust me. Sometimes I doubt everything I\u2019m saying here and go through a spiral of self-hate, but Allah\u2019s got this.\u00a0And the biggest thing: There is nothing wrong with you!<\/em><\/p>\nP.S. I don\u2019t hate men; I like men. I really<\/em> like men who respect women physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I just think it\u2019s time to point out the nonsense that we are allowing.<\/p>\nTime to throw away the garbage.<\/p>\n
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
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\nVisit the \u201cContribute to MM<\/a>\u201d\u00a0page for more details.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Written by Jasmin Ali I\u2019m not sorry; it must be said\u2026 In the Muslim community, we have a marriage crisis to say the least, and for some odd reason, the blame is always placed on women. We are too old, too fat, too skinny, too successful, too tall (what the\u2026?), too dark, too \u2018something\u2019\u2026But I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1348,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,14],"tags":[32,33,25,31],"class_list":["post-1340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society-culture","category-women","tag-marriage","tag-muslim-marriage","tag-muslim-women","tag-women"],"yoast_head":"\n
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