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<\/a><\/p>\nI don\u2019t get out much.\u00a0 Happens when you\u2019re a work-at-home mom of five children, three cats, and one Egyptian hubby who loves my home cooked food.\u00a0 Much of the information I get about the \u2018outside world\u2019 comes from TV and my Facebook feed.\u00a0 A few days ago my wall started lighting up with stories about a sheikh \u2013 still unidentified and possibly imaginary \u2013 who supposedly said that female Muslims should not be allowed to handle cucumbers, zucchini, or other phallic produce.\u00a0 It was one of those source quoting a source referring to another source stories.\u00a0 You know, the really reliable stuff.<\/p>\n
Well, anyway, the uproar was swift and loud.\u00a0 Actual Muslim religious authorities said \u201cphooey\u201d to this phatwa and questioned the scholarly training of the \u201csheikh\u2019 who made the ruling.\u00a0 Muslims everywhere spit coffee onto their computer keyboards, laughed, and then yelled to their spouses \u201cHey, honey, you\u2019re not going to believe what I just read!\u201d and then forwarded the link to all their friends.\u00a0 There were guffaws and disbelieving headshakes throughout the Muslim world, and then we got on with our lives.\u00a0 Lives that involve \u2013 gasp! \u2013 cucumbers, zucchini, bananas, plantains, and other similarly-shaped items.\u00a0 And just so as not to leave the husbands out, I should also mention that Muslim women continue to bring melons into the home.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just have to take the risk that our husbands will see them.<\/p>\n
This issue affects me a lot because I do almost all the grocery shopping, as well as the prepping and cooking.\u00a0 I was thinking of having my husband supervise me in the kitchen while I prepare cucumber salad or zucchini bread, but I suppose that might not be wise because the sight of me peeling and chopping up a cucumber might traumatize him, given the symbolism.\u00a0 And grating the zucchini would be even more disturbing.\u00a0 I suppose I\u2019ll just have to continue doing everything like I normally do and hope for the best.<\/p>\n
If this dial-a-sheikh, who probably doesn\u2019t really exist, had a brain in his head, he\u2019d be less worried about what\u2019s going on in the heads of married couples and more concerned about the status of our unmarried brothers and sisters.\u00a0 No matter what country you live in, getting married to the right person and staying married is a problem.\u00a0 In some countries, arranged marriages are preparing couples for failure as they join in matrimony two people who have not a darned thing in common other than the fact that they are cousins or share the same financial status.\u00a0 In others, no one can afford an apartment or even food for two so young people are forced to remain single, resulting in western-style dating and fornication.\u00a0 In lax societies, people simply go with the flow of popular culture, serial dating, hooking up, friends with benefits, making no effort to live according to Islamic norms.\u00a0 This is the real crisis, and one that needs to be dealt with at every level, from mom and dad to the young people themselves to the masaajid and universities.\u00a0 We have to make a coordinated effort to rescue marriage or it will become as meaningless to Muslims as it is to much of the rest of the world.<\/p>\n
Oh, I think I\u2019m about to go off on a screed\u2026.\u00a0 Okay, I\u2019ll try to keep it short.\u00a0 Learn about Islam.\u00a0 Learn your rights and responsibilities as a Muslim husband or wife.\u00a0 If you are a parent, don\u2019t tell your kids they can\u2019t get married until after college because, sheesh, that means no sex until age 22 or later if they go to graduate school.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you remember how YOU were at that age?\u00a0 Or do you WANT them sneaking off to some buddy\u2019s dorm room to desperately hook up with some (guy or gal) pal just to keep their sexual urges under control?\u00a0 And another thing.\u00a0 Guys, wake up and smell the falafel.\u00a0 Women nowadays want more than just a provider.\u00a0 They want a man who will think of his wife as a friend and confidant.\u00a0 They want a man who will respect his wife, who won\u2019t hit her, who won\u2019t spend all his time with his guy friends at the hookah lounge and only talk to his wife when he wants food, sex, or a shirt ironed.\u00a0 In the U.S., more than half of college students are women.\u00a0 Deal with it.\u00a0 The dynamic has changed.\u00a0 Women, figure out what the heck you want out of life.\u00a0 Make a list of the dealbreakers.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let some sweet-talking dude trick you into giving up your rights.\u00a0 Be strong.\u00a0 Being alone is better than being with a cad.\u00a0 Rely on Allah, learn to take care of yourself, and marry a man who will not hit you and who will make YOU tea.\u00a0 Do your research.\u00a0 For so many reverts, and children of culturally-but-not-religiously Muslim parents, you won\u2019t get any help from family so you have to be your own advocate.\u00a0 If your family is \u201ctraditional\u201d and wants you to marry a cousin you don\u2019t know, check the guy out but don\u2019t just go along to get along.\u00a0 Remember, YOU are the one who will have to wake up in the bed next to this guy every day for the rest of your life.\u00a0 You want Ahmed the pious sweet hard working man next to you, or the Pakistani Homer Simpson?<\/p>\n
This is a huge issue.\u00a0 I could expand every sentence into an article, every article into a book.\u00a0 And I haven\u2019t even touched on the issues of Muslims who are already married and experiencing difficulties.\u00a0 Marriage is the nuclear social unit so it is vital to have strong healthy marriages in order to have a strong healthy Ummah.\u00a0 If you are a religious Muslim and you understand this fact, then get busy and start working on yourself so you\u2019ll be the best possible marriage partner you can be.\u00a0 If you are not religious, well, start learning about Islam.\u00a0 I think you\u2019ll be very surprised at the progressive, common sense attitude Islam has towards marriage and life.\u00a0 If you have questions, ask.\u00a0 There\u2019s a lot of superstition and downright stupidity out there (see cucumber fatwa above).\u00a0 It\u2019s up to each of us not to contribute to it.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t get out much.\u00a0 Happens when you\u2019re a work-at-home mom of five children, three cats, and one Egyptian hubby who loves my home cooked food.\u00a0 Much of the information I get about the \u2018outside world\u2019 comes from TV and my Facebook feed.\u00a0 A few days ago my wall started lighting up with stories about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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