![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/67\/2012\/01\/festivus.jpeg\" "\\"festivus\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nSo many holidays, so much HARAAAAAAAM!<\/p>\n
Since I basically live on Facebook, it is my window to the world.\u00a0 Most of my Facebook friends are Muslim, and a whole lot of my world was busy telling the rest of my world, in BLARING I\u2019M SHOUTING AT YOU, YOU IGNORANT PERSON CAPS, that they were committing a sin by \u2013 snorting heroin?\u00a0 smoking crack?\u00a0 clubbing seals?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 They were committing a sin, endangering their everlasting souls, by saying Merry Christmas.<\/p>\n
Now, I\u2019ve been Muslim for over eighteen years, so I have had many years to evolve as a Muslim, to adopt Islamic practices and abandon unIslamic ones.\u00a0 I don\u2019t celebrate Christmas or Diwali or Hanukkah or New Year\u2019s.\u00a0 They are just normal days on the calendar for me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t make it a point to telephone the relatives because, well, I am phone-phobic all year round and always fear I\u2019ll be interrupting someone in the middle of doing something important, like inventing cold fusion, but if I were to call, actually, Christmas would probably be a good day to do it since they are mostly all in one room together on that day.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t call, don\u2019t send cute little e-cards with reindeer on them, don\u2019t bake cookies to give to neighbors, or do anything like that.\u00a0 I know that it is not permitted in Islam to celebrate non-Muslim holidays because, for us, they are rooted in disbelief.\u00a0 I get that.\u00a0 I understand that.\u00a0 I agree with that.\u00a0 But\u2026.<\/p>\n
I was really disheartened by the gazillion well-meaning people who blasted everyone within reading distance that they were doing the HARAAAAAAM (forbidden) by even wishing others a Merry Christmas:<\/p>\n
IF YOU SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE KUFFAAR THEN YOU ARE AGREEING WITH THEM THAT JESUS IS GOD AND YOU WILL BE IN HELLFIRE!!!!!<\/p>\n
Looks very authoritative in all caps, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 I imagine that a lot of people positively swooned and got the vapors if they read that a Muslim had a tree, or got presents for their kid, or visited the family, or watched A Charlie Brown Christmas, or ate a candy cane.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure they felt indignant and felt that the only way they could defend Islam was to quote every fatwa for the last twenty years saying how terrible this person was for IMITATING THE KUFFAAR\u2026.<\/p>\n
Can we just dial it down a bit?\u00a0 Can we all take a collective breath and stop and think.\u00a0 Imagine you are walking down the street and you see a street vendor selling donuts.\u00a0 You think to yourself, Mmmm, donuts, and you buy one.\u00a0 As you walk along munching on your treat, one of your sister Muslims runs up to you and screams in your face \u201cHEY, DON\u2019T YOU KNOW THAT DONUT HAS LARD IN IT.\u00a0 THAT\u2019S PORK, PORK I SAY, AND IT\u2019S HARAAAAM AND YOU\u2019LL BE IN THE HELLFIRE FOR EATING IT BLAH DE BLAH DE BLAH\u201d.\u00a0 And she shoves a copy of a fatwa in your hand and walks away, feeling very self-righteous and Islamic.\u00a0 Now, you didn\u2019t know that the donut had lard, and knowing that now you won\u2019t finish it, but short of sticking your finger down your throat to upchuck there\u2019s not much more you can do.\u00a0 So you stand there, feeling foolish because everyone is looking at you and thinking how stupid you must be for eating PIG and feeling embarrassed for being called out in public.<\/p>\n
If the sister really wanted to advise you, she could have walked up to you, said Salaam Alaikum, taken you by the arm, and quietly, with a smile, said \u201cMy dear sister, perhaps you did not know that this vendor cooked his donuts in lard.\u00a0 Lard comes from piggies, so you probably don\u2019t want to finish that.\u00a0 If you\u2019re hungry, why don\u2019t you let me buy you a nice danish from this guy over here.\u201d\u00a0 The same message was delivered, the same information shared, but in a kind, private manner.\u00a0 A solution for your problem (hunger) was also given, and you are grateful for the information and very happy to have a nice cheese danish.\u00a0 You are so happy to have a sister who loves you and cares for you enough not to embarrass you in public.<\/p>\n
So, do you get what I mean?\u00a0 No?\u00a0 What, my analogy too vague?\u00a0 Okay, let me put it this way.\u00a0 You probably do not know your Facebook friend well enough to call her out in public without causing resentment.\u00a0 I know it offends you to see her putting up a tree and taking a picture of her kids in front of it, but if you do not see her in REAL LIFE, you should not be taking her to task on her wall where everyone can see it.\u00a0 If you feel like you have a good relationship with her, you can privately contact her and let her know, in a kind, loving, concerned manner, with as many fatwas and footnotes as you like, that celebrating Christmas is not something we Muslims do.\u00a0 You should also know her well enough to see where SHE is as a Muslim.\u00a0 Did she just revert last week, or has she been Muslim for twenty years?\u00a0 Is she slowly weaning her kids off Christmas and planning on making Eid special next year?\u00a0 Is she the only Muslim within five hundred miles, unable to go to a mosque and not yet ready to isolate herself by telling the family no to the holiday?\u00a0 Does she know the significance of Christmas and has she learned of the beauty of Muslim holy days such as the two Eids?\u00a0 You can\u2019t just do a drive-by condemnation and then go along your merry way.\u00a0 If you are going to advise, you have to invest some time in knowing the person you are advising so that you can give your advice in a manner that will help it hopefully be accepted.\u00a0 And offer solutions:<\/p>\n
\u201cSalaam Alaikum Sister So-and-So.\u00a0 I saw your Christmas tree on your profile.\u00a0 It is indeed a lovely tree.\u00a0 You know, I feel so happy that Allah guided you to Islam and I just want to let you know that as you transition and learn that I will be more than willing to help you learn how to make the Islamic holy days special so you don\u2019t feel like you have to give up something that is emotionally satisfying.\u00a0 I know it will take time to feel \u201cnatural\u201d celebrating an Eid, but there are ways to make it special, even when you are living in a non-Muslim country.\u00a0 And you can help your kids learn.\u00a0 I can direct you to this website, or we have a weekly class, or I can send you some adorable Eid decorations and something for the kids\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
You get the idea.\u00a0 Advice, not holier-than-thou cut-and-paste postings.\u00a0 Support, not condemnation.\u00a0 Practical advice, not haraam-alaik.\u00a0 Not just knowledge, but wisdom.\u00a0 If you present the exact same information in the best way, then inshaAllah, if Allah wills, your friend will, either quickly or over time, transition away from the non-Muslim holidays and learn what is so special about the Eid al Fitr and the Eid al Adha, and of course our \u201cweekly Eid\u201d on Friday.<\/p>\n
But what about the Muslim who unapologetically celebrates Christmas, and Hanukkah, and Diwali, and every other holiday on the calendar?\u00a0 Well, if she knows what is correct, what is permissible, what is appropriate, and she simply never chooses to abide by it, then that is between her and Allah.\u00a0 If you have a relationship with her, you can continue to advise, to offer alternatives, and most importantly, pray for her and ask Allah to put a love of Islamic behavior in her heart.<\/p>\n
I advise myself before I advise anyone else.\u00a0 Have I been guilty of pointing out someone\u2019s incorrect behavior in public?\u00a0 Yes, yes, I have, may Allah forgive me.\u00a0 It takes a bit of wisdom to know when to reply in a public forum and when to keep it private, and I know I have been on the wrong side of that from time to time.\u00a0 The harm in that was really brought home to me during this holiday season when I saw so many really nice women publicly and repeatedly castigated for just replying to a Merry Christmas greeting by the bag boy at the grocery store.\u00a0 There is a time to speak out and a time to keep it quiet.\u00a0 Posting an article about the pagan origins of Christmas is fine.\u00a0 It is informative and important.\u00a0 But flaming someone\u2019s wall because they went to dinner on Christmas Eve with their non-Muslim family because that\u2019s the only time they all can get together in the year is another thing.\u00a0 Think before you talk, or write, or cut and paste.\u00a0 Look at the big picture and the context.\u00a0 Think about how you would want to be approached before you approach another.\u00a0 You words have the power to help or hurt.\u00a0 Use them wisely.\u00a0 As I said, I advise myself before I advise anyone else.\u00a0 And Allah knows best.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So many holidays, so much HARAAAAAAAM! Since I basically live on Facebook, it is my window to the world.\u00a0 Most of my Facebook friends are Muslim, and a whole lot of my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[29,25,14,26,28,27,3],"class_list":["post-217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-islam-2","tag-celebration","tag-christmas","tag-eid","tag-facebook","tag-hanukkah","tag-holidays","tag-islam"],"yoast_head":"\n
Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries' Day!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries' Day!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Muslimah in Progress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-04T15:02:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-01-04T15:16:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/files\/2011\/10\/bismillah2.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nancy Qualls-Shehata\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Nancy Qualls-Shehata\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html\",\"name\":\"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries' Day!\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-01-04T15:02:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-01-04T15:16:38+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/6218cbef696f8f6c933831dfcc2096b9\"},\"description\":\"Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries’ Day!\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/\",\"name\":\"Muslimah in Progress\",\"description\":\"I'm an American Muslimah of a certain age with some pretty strong opinions. Feel free to agree or disagree. You won't hurt my feelings.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/6218cbef696f8f6c933831dfcc2096b9\",\"name\":\"Nancy Qualls-Shehata\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1005ec72c60bd66c283862ff890c47ae?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1005ec72c60bd66c283862ff890c47ae?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Nancy Qualls-Shehata\"},\"description\":\"Muslimah, wife, mom, writer, dispenser of advice. I have been Muslim for over 20 years and my passion is sharing what I have learned in an effort to dispel the misconceptions surrounding Islam.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.muslimahinprogress.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/author\/nancyshehata\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries' Day!","description":"Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries' Day!","og_description":"Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html","og_site_name":"Muslimah in Progress","article_published_time":"2012-01-04T15:02:51+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-01-04T15:16:38+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/files\/2011\/10\/bismillah2.jpeg"}],"author":"Nancy Qualls-Shehata","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Nancy Qualls-Shehata","Est. reading time":"8 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html","name":"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries' Day!","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-01-04T15:02:51+00:00","dateModified":"2012-01-04T15:16:38+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/6218cbef696f8f6c933831dfcc2096b9"},"description":"Salaam Alaikum, Merry Christmas.\u00a0 Happy New Year.\u00a0 Feliz Navidad.\u00a0 Happy Hanukkah.\u00a0 Happy Festivus (for the rest of us).\u00a0 Merry FSM Day (Google it). So","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2012\/01\/merry-happy-christmas-hanukkah-festivus-new-year-diwali-secretaries-day.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Merry Happy Christmas Hanukkah Festivus New Year Diwali Secretaries’ Day!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/","name":"Muslimah in Progress","description":"I'm an American Muslimah of a certain age with some pretty strong opinions. Feel free to agree or disagree. You won't hurt my feelings.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/6218cbef696f8f6c933831dfcc2096b9","name":"Nancy Qualls-Shehata","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1005ec72c60bd66c283862ff890c47ae?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1005ec72c60bd66c283862ff890c47ae?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Nancy Qualls-Shehata"},"description":"Muslimah, wife, mom, writer, dispenser of advice. I have been Muslim for over 20 years and my passion is sharing what I have learned in an effort to dispel the misconceptions surrounding Islam.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.muslimahinprogress.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/author\/nancyshehata"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/81"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/67\/2011\/10\/bismillah2.jpeg\" "\\"bismillah2\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n