{"id":418,"date":"2013-05-11T11:50:05","date_gmt":"2013-05-11T15:50:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/?p=418"},"modified":"2013-05-11T11:53:58","modified_gmt":"2013-05-11T15:53:58","slug":"one-pair-of-shoes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html","title":{"rendered":"One Pair of Shoes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>
They get me where I\u2019m going, even if they don\u2019t do it in style.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>

I am an anti-fashionista.\u00a0 I know nothing about style and I care nothing about style.\u00a0 I shop at thrift stores.\u00a0 I shop sales.\u00a0 I buy for my kids first and myself last.\u00a0 I buy cute dresses to wear around the house so I won\u2019t look like a schlub in front of hubby, but I don\u2019t obsess over shoes or drool over purses.\u00a0 Do I have to turn in my woman card?<\/p>\n

Recently I was thinking about my shoes.\u00a0 Those shoes, the ones in the picture.\u00a0 I bought them from the thrift store sometime maybe last fall.\u00a0 They cost $4.\u00a0 I was going to sell them on ebay \u2013 they were in new condition when I found them \u2013 but when the buyer ended up not paying I decided to keep them.\u00a0 They are my kind of shoe.\u00a0 Right size?\u00a0 Check.\u00a0 Slip ons for getting out of the house easy?\u00a0 Check.\u00a0 Not a hideous dayglo color?\u00a0 Check.<\/p>\n

I have worn these shoes almost exclusively for at least six month.\u00a0 Eww, you might say.\u00a0 I do regularly disinfect them so they won\u2019t smell grody, but hey, they are standing up to daily wear and they are comfortable.\u00a0 I once wore the same pair of imitation Crocs (on sale at a retail store for $2) for three and a half years.\u00a0 Three and a half YEARS.\u00a0 Summer and winter.\u00a0 Rain, snow, or shine.\u00a0 So now I\u2019ve moved on to these shoes and I can tell now they are nearing their end of life, so I\u2019m starting to look for other shoes.<\/p>\n

These are not the only shoes in my closet, and once in a blue moon I will wear another pair, like the one time each season when I feel the need to lie to myself and say I\u2019m going to exercise.\u00a0 I have a really nice pair of workout shoes in the closet, not even broken in.\u00a0 I have a pair of \u201cdressy\u201d clogs with wedge heels which look a lot more comfortable than they are.\u00a0 I have a pair of really ugly sensible shoes that actually are not very sensible since they are silver and make me feel like I\u2019m wearing canoes on my feet so I never wear them.\u00a0 I guess I figure since these shoes are strong and comfy and they are usually covered up by the hem of my abaya, why change?\u00a0 If it aint broke, don\u2019t fix it.<\/p>\n

I want to share a secret with you about these shoes.\u00a0 Come close, because I really want to share this with some of my dear sisters and friends who tend to obsess over having just the right scarf, or the matching purse, or the exact pair of shoes, for whatever outfit you are wearing.\u00a0 The secret is this:\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t really matter.\u00a0 I have walked around in one pair of shoes at a time for years, and it has not gained me friends or lost me friends.\u00a0 It has not made me a pariah at parties.\u00a0 It has not caused me mental stress to know they are not quite the right shade of brown for my blue abaya.\u00a0 It has not made people turn up their noses at me.\u00a0 It has not caused the heartbreak of social abandonment.\u00a0 It-does-not-matter.\u00a0 People have not looked at me and told me \u201cMan, you really h.ave polite kids and your cooking is good and I enjoyed that article you wrote, but\u00a0damn, your shoes are awful so I can\u2019t be your friend!\u201d\u00a0 No one, not one person, shunned me because I wasn\u2019t dressed in the latest fashion.\u00a0 Well, not anyone who matters, anyway.\u00a0 If someone has judged me by my shoes, I can only say my life has been enriched by their absence.<\/p>\n

Part of my reluctance to buy a lot of fashionable clothes is due to financial constraints.\u00a0 Housing, feeding, and clothing a large family is always a challenge, and we moms tend to put ourselves last when it comes to buying for the family anyway.\u00a0 But I do shop.\u00a0 I just shop cheap.\u00a0 I have several very nice hijabs, but I bought them at the thrift store for about $3 each.\u00a0 I have a closet full of abayas, but again, I found them at the thrift store and they were about $6 each.\u00a0 Allah has blessed me to be able to find them even though we don\u2019t have a ton of Muslims in the area; it seems that when I need something it\u2019s there.\u00a0 So I\u2019m not saying walk around in rags, and some people are not able to find appropriate clothing at the thrift store or on sale.\u00a0 Buy what you need and shop for what you like and what appeals to you.\u00a0 But think when you shop.\u00a0 Before you buy the twentieth scarf or the tenth purse or the fortieth pair of shoes, stop and think.\u00a0 A) How much are you paying?\u00a0 If you are shopping the sales and the thrift stores, maybe you can justify buying something that you love but wouldn\u2019t pay full price for.\u00a0 B)\u00a0 Do you really need it?\u00a0 If you have a closet full of scarves, many of which you rarely wear, do you really need to buy another, even if it is your favorite color?\u00a0 C)\u00a0 If you did not spend this money on the item, where else can it be put to use?<\/p>\n

Every time we shop we make a decision.\u00a0 Not everyone would be comfortable wearing the same pair of shoes all the time and I\u2019m not recommending that for anyone.\u00a0 But I do want to remind you that your worth is NOT determined by a designer bag, or a fancy watch, or Jimmy Choo shoes, or an expensive car.\u00a0 Before you buy, think about what you are doing and why.\u00a0 Think about where the money is going and where it might do more good.\u00a0 Think about wants versus needs.<\/p>\n

I not judging anyone, let me say that.\u00a0 I love to buy things as much as the next person.\u00a0 I indulge by buying yarn for future crochet projects.\u00a0 I buy toys for the kids.\u00a0 I treat myself to a chocolate bar that I eat in the car so I don\u2019t have to share it with the kids (sorry kids).\u00a0 I compensate in other areas, though.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have a fancy haircut or professionally done nails.\u00a0 We eat out only about once a week.\u00a0 We go to the movies about once a year and otherwise use Redbox.\u00a0 I try to balance everything so my life is full, but not full of things.<\/em>\u00a0 I am frugal, but not cheap.\u00a0 Okay, about shoes, I\u2019m cheap, I admit it.\u00a0 But I\u2019m not a miser.\u00a0 I just try to be mindful of what I\u2019m spending my money on, and in this world where there are so many whose basic needs are not being met, it\u2019s easier to say no to the fancy outfit or the purse or the shoes when you realize that you can give money to a worthy cause instead and help perhaps to literally save a life.\u00a0 And of course, if you surround yourself with good people who have similar values, then you won\u2019t have to worry if some lady it tut-tutting under her breath about your well-worn clothing and unadorned nails.\u00a0 Or your thrift store shoes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p><\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am an anti-fashionista.\u00a0 I know nothing about style and I care nothing about style.\u00a0 I shop at thrift stores.\u00a0 I shop sales.\u00a0 I buy for my kids first and myself last.\u00a0 I buy cute dresses to wear around the house so I won\u2019t look like a schlub in front of hubby, but I don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70,18,19,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-islam-2","category-satire","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nOne Pair of Shoes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I am an anti-fashionista.\u00a0 I know nothing about style and I care nothing about style.\u00a0 I shop at thrift stores.\u00a0 I shop sales.\u00a0 I buy for my kids first\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"One Pair of Shoes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am an anti-fashionista.\u00a0 I know nothing about style and I care nothing about style.\u00a0 I shop at thrift stores.\u00a0 I shop sales.\u00a0 I buy for my kids first\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Muslimah in Progress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-05-11T15:50:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-05-11T15:53:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/files\/2013\/05\/DSC00065-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nancy Qualls-Shehata\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Nancy Qualls-Shehata\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html\",\"name\":\"One Pair of Shoes\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-05-11T15:50:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-05-11T15:53:58+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#\/schema\/person\/6218cbef696f8f6c933831dfcc2096b9\"},\"description\":\"I am an anti-fashionista.\u00a0 I know nothing about style and I care nothing about style.\u00a0 I shop at thrift stores.\u00a0 I shop sales.\u00a0 I buy for my kids first\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2013\/05\/one-pair-of-shoes.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"One Pair of Shoes\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/\",\"name\":\"Muslimah in Progress\",\"description\":\"I'm an American Muslimah of a certain age with some pretty strong opinions. 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