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Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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Mornings are always hectic. \u00a0I wake up, start the water for coffee and tea, make breakfast for my father-in-law, wake the kids, help find the inevitable lost shoe or missing homework paper, feed the cats, and try not to look too closely at the reminders of yesterday\u2019s undone tasks. \u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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There\u2019s something new in the mix \u2013 my husband is now working from home. \u00a0This means that, instead of seeing him hastily out the door with his coffee and an egg sandwich, I now have him underfoot for part of the day. \u00a0Now, you ladies out there might react with either joy \u2013 Sweet! \u00a0She has her hubby with her! \u00a0or horror \u2013 Ugh! \u00a0She has her hubby with her! \u00a0Overall, it\u2019s a good move. \u00a0We\u2019ve worked together before and we really mesh pretty well and don\u2019t get on each other\u2019s nerves too much. \u00a0But it makes my day just that bit more complex, as I have to think about lunch for him in addition to the others in the house. \u00a0He\u2019ll ask me to do a random task, like calling a customer or answering an email, and I usually end up juggling the baby and typing one-handed, or plopping him in the crib to wail in abandonment for five minutes. \u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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The biggest adjustment is to my attitude. \u00a0I\u2019m a naturally anxious person. \u00a0I always feel that I should be up doing something. \u00a0I know that, on the other side of the wall where I\u2019m sitting, there are tax papers waiting to be sorted, a carpet that needs to be vacuumed, a window that needs a good cleaning \u2013 and that\u2019s just one room. \u00a0I feel guilty when I take any time for myself, and there\u2019s always this tension between what I am doing and what I feel I should <\/i>be doing. \u00a0Toss hubby in the mix and it\u2019s even harder. \u00a0I know that he\u2019s coming and going, schlepping boxes and lifting heavy stuff and packing and working very hard. \u00a0I feel like if he\u2019s standing up, I should be too. \u00a0If he\u2019s working, I should be as well. \u00a0But that\u2019s not the way it works.\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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My rational brain says \u201cLady, you are NEVER off duty. \u00a0Do you remember you\u2019ve been up part of the last three nights with a fussy baby? \u00a0Do you remember that you\u2019ve hardly been able to get him out of your arms long enough to write a coherent sentence? \u00a0You realize it\u2019s been three days since you had time to work on your knitting? \u00a0If that baby goes down for a nap, don\u2019t you dare head for the broom or the vacuum or laundry basket. \u00a0You sit your butt down and rest for a few minutes. \u00a0Yes, there are dirty dishes in the sink. \u00a0They\u2019ll keep.\u201d<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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See, I think a lot of us women have the habit of devaluing what we do around the house. \u00a0I may not be sweating under the hot sun at a construction site, or working in a small gray cubicle somewhere, or swearing in rush hour traffic, but I AM working. \u00a0It never ends. \u00a0Breakfast, snack, diaper, lunch, diaper, cleaning rug where diaper leaked, litter box, second lunch for kids at school, laundry, homework, tea for hubby, dinner, help kids with Qur\u2019an, and on and on. \u00a0If I don\u2019t make a conscious effort to carve out time for myself when the opportunity presents itself, I can go literally for days at a time without a \u201cme\u201d moment. \u00a0And here I was, about to get off the computer this morning and go do \u201csomething\u201d even before I had drunk my coffee, just because I was feeling unjustifiably guilty for the mere act of sitting down and logging on to CNN.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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And really, I do it to myself. \u00a0My husband is keenly aware that I am chronically sleep-deprived and would happily relieve me if putting food on the table and paying the rent were not of primary importance. \u00a0He supports my writing and blogging and even Facebooking, even though he shut his page down after a few months. \u00a0He knows that I have said mornings are my \u201cme\u201d time, so that if he comes in around noon, when I head for the kitchen to make lunch, he\u2019ll see the bed still unmade and dishes just drying on the counter. \u00a0And he is fine with that. \u00a0He\u2019s downstairs. \u00a0He can hear when the baby is crying \u2013 often \u2013 or when our toddler has a temper tantrum \u2013 also often. \u00a0He knows that I make real food and that takes time, and that the kids can mess up a room five minutes after I\u2019ve cleaned it, and he even apologized for rescuing the cats because he knew their care would fall on my shoulders. \u00a0So I have him in my corner, and still I feel antsy for doing what I love to do.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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