{"id":68,"date":"2010-10-01T14:06:00","date_gmt":"2010-10-01T14:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2010\/10\/01\/better-get-this-said-before-i-go-off-on-a-screed\/"},"modified":"2010-10-01T14:06:00","modified_gmt":"2010-10-01T14:06:00","slug":"better-get-this-said-before-i-go-off-on-a-screed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/muslimahinprogress\/2010\/10\/better-get-this-said-before-i-go-off-on-a-screed.html","title":{"rendered":"Better Get This Said Before I Go Off On A Screed&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><b><i>Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim<\/i><\/b><br><b><i><br><\/i><\/b><br><i>Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah<\/i><br><i><br><\/i><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\">I looked at what I\u2019ve written over the last few days and I am thinking to myself, whoa, not exactly looking uplifting and inspiring there. \u00a0I guess when you\u2019re dealing with a complex topic like the relationship between men and women, you can get very down on everyone. \u00a0I mean, look no further than the pages of your local newspaper and you can see evidence of the dysfunction of the family. \u00a0And I don\u2019t get asked for advice when everything is going <i>right. <\/i>\u00a0But it\u2019s important that I put this out there, and that everyone remembers this when you are nodding your head sagely over some comment I\u2019ve made or thinking \u201cshe\u2019s reading my mind\u201d:<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center\"><b>THERE ARE LOTS OF HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL MUSLIM MARRIAGES<\/b><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><b><br><\/b><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\">Yes, honestly, there are a lot of strong Muslim marriages. \u00a0You just never hear about them because no one is posting their \u201cI (heart) my spouse\u201d update on their Facebook status. \u00a0Or if they are, you might be thinking \u201cYeah, right, <i>she\u2019s <\/i>overcompensating\u201d. \u00a0Yes, there are truly many couples who love and respect one another, who are on the same page religiously, who cherish their children, who work hard in this world and strive for Jannah together. \u00a0They exist. \u00a0They just don\u2019t advertise it.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\">Just like with television programs where \u201cif it bleeds, it leads\u201d, advice columns and therapists and nosy blogs like this one tend to deal with the situations gone wrong, the toxic relationships, the marriages headed over a cliff. \u00a0I mean, honestly, would Britney Spears \/ Lindsay Lohan \/ et al be on TV every night if they were home crocheting in front of the fire while their husbands massaged their feet? \u00a0No. \u00a0So, when you see me railing against the absent husband or the lazy wife or the interfering mother-in-law, take everything I say with a grain of salt, a big one. \u00a0<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\">First of all, when someone writes to me with a problem, I\u2019m only hearing one side of the story: \u00a0\u201cThe SOB deserted me while I was pregnant!\u201d \u00a0Aw, you poor dear, \u00a0he\u2019s a real bastard! \u00a0But what she <i>didn\u2019t <\/i>tell me is that she is a pathologically jealous shrew who keyed her husband\u2019s car and tried to have him deported because she didn\u2019t realize the attractive woman he went out to lunch with was his <i>aunt. \u00a0<\/i>\u00a0See? \u00a0Things are not always as they seem.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\">I try to avoid name-calling even when it sounds like the other person <i>is <\/i>a bastard, and simply try to give advice in a non-judgmental Islamic manner. \u00a0I always try to keep it realistic and I like to know some details of the person who is writing: a person who reverted to Islam yesterday will be in a far different place than a lifelong observant Muslim. \u00a0It is a balance, one I no doubt get wrong from time to time, and surely mine is not the only valid opinion in the world. \u00a0That is why I love to read comments on what I\u2019ve written, because you can educate me as I try to spill out what is in my brain and inshAllah be a source of comfort, with a big dash of tough love, for my brothers and sisters in humanity.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\">So, I\u2019m kind of suffering from a lack of focus and a seized-up brain, meaning I may not write anything here for a couple of days. \u00a0I\u2019ll try to pick up where I left off and may toss in a few recipes, because, hey, it\u2019s my blog and I can write what I want to! \u00a0For right now, I think I\u2019ll just chill and feed my kids the home made spaghetti that I cooked and maybe work on my cross stitch a little. \u00a0If I call my husband and tell him there\u2019s pasta and garlic bread, I <i>might <\/i>even be able to get him to come home after Jumuah prayer before he goes back to work. \u00a0Hmm\u2026.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center\"><b><br><\/b><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: justify\"><b><br><\/b><\/div>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/8276196425188955527-425670452548370599?l=muslimahinprogress.blogspot.com\" alt=\"\"><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bismillahi Rahmani RahimSalaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah I looked at what I\u2019ve written over the last few days and I am thinking to myself, whoa, not exactly looking uplifting and inspiring there. \u00a0I guess when you\u2019re dealing with a complex topic like the relationship between men and women, you can get very down on everyone. \u00a0I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Better Get This Said Before I Go Off On A Screed....<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bismillahi Rahmani RahimSalaam Alaikum wa RahmatullahI looked at what I&#039;ve written over the last few days and I am thinking to myself, whoa, not exactly\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" 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